Chapter 44
Ciel
"Now you remember me." I say to Jack, who's just gotten into bed like he owns it, stretching out that big body of his like he hasn't neglected me all day.
He has the audacity—the nerve—to look guilty. His lips twitch, like he's fighting a smile, but those damn brown eyes flick to mine with a softness I can't hold against him for long.
"Uh huh." I fold my arms across my chest, deliberately rolling onto my side to face him.
"Forgive me," he says, turning the full force of his puppy dog eyes on me.
I narrow my gaze. "Don't think batting those lashes is going to erase the fact that you've been glued to someone else all day."
"Someone else?" he repeats, like he's innocent.
I glare at him.
"You mean your son?" he adds, amusement curling around every word.
"Hmph." I turn away, folding my arms tighter across my chest.
Jack chuckles, low and maddeningly unfair, the kind of sound that makes the room feel smaller. "I can't help it. He's got your eyes."
"Flattery isn't going to save you," I shoot back, though my lips twitch at the corners.
He shifts closer across the mattress, the dip in the bed giving him away. His warmth brushes against my arm.
"What if I said I missed you?" he murmurs.
"What an interesting way of showing it." I keep my voice flat, but my pulse betrays me, racing.
He scoots even closer, so close that our shoulders press, so close that I can smell the faint trace of his pheromones.
"I can show you now," he whispers, his breath brushing against my ear.
"Yet you're not pulling away," he murmurs, lips ghosting over my skin. And then he proves his point—pressing a soft, lingering kiss against the curve of my neck.
My breath hitches. Damn him.
"Jack…" I mean it as a warning, but it comes out breathless, weak. The kind of sound that only fuels him.
He hums against my skin, pleased with himself. "You can tell me to stop."
But I don't.
Instead, I tip my head just slightly, a silent admission. His lips trail higher, skimming my jawline, deliberate and slow, like he's savoring the permission I won't say out loud. My heart races so fast I can feel it in my fingertips.
"This isn't fair," I mutter, gripping the blanket like it's my last defense.
Jack chuckles, low and rough, the vibration sinking straight into my chest. "No, sunshine. What isn't fair… is how badly I want you right now."
I can't help the whimper that slips out. And he pounces on it—his lips capturing mine before I can second-guess.
It's hot. Immediate. My breath is swallowed whole by him, his mouth moving against mine with the hunger of someone who's been holding back for too long.
He tilts his head, pressing harder, and I let him, my fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt like an anchor.
The kiss deepens, slow but devastating. His tongue teases the seam of my lips until I yield, gasping softly when he slips past.
His hand cups the back of my neck, firm and steady, keeping me close like he's terrified I'll vanish if he lets go.
I kiss him back just as desperately, pouring weeks of longing into every brush of my lips, every stolen breath. My heart pounds in my throat, and when he groans into my mouth, low and guttural, I nearly come undone.
My heart pounds in my throat, and when he groans into my mouth, low and guttural, I nearly come undone.
I don't notice when it happens, only that suddenly I'm on my back, his weight braced over me, his mouth still moving against mine like he's starved.
It's everything.
The solid press of him, the way he surrounds me, the steady burn of his pheromones flooding the air, sharp and intoxicating, rolling off him in waves that make me feel lightheaded.
He's excited—too excited—and I can feel it. Every nerve in my body buzzes, my limbs weak, my chest rising and falling like I've just run miles.
Then his knee slips between my legs, firm against me, and instinct takes over. My hips move, greedy for friction, chasing relief before I even realize what I'm doing.
Heat coils low in my stomach. A soft sound tears from my throat, half-whimper, half-moan, and his answering growl vibrates through me. His kisses grow hotter, messier, his tongue claiming my mouth like he can't get enough.
I'm so turned on right now I could cry.
A whimper escapes me when his hands slip under my shirt, fingers finding my nipples and teasing them until my back arches. He's frantic, greedy almost, but somehow still careful—like he's terrified of hurting me even as he devours every inch he can touch.
Then his hands drift lower, sliding over my stomach, tracing down to the waistband of my pajama shorts. The second his fingers brush the fabric there, my whole body locks up.
And he feels it. Instantly.
Jack stills, pulling back just enough to search my face. His pupils are blown wide, his breathing ragged, but his voice comes low, steady. "Hey… are you okay?"
I blink rapidly, my chest heaving. My throat tightens around words I can't seem to get out. Shame burns hot at the edges of my arousal.
"I'm sorry, I—"
"Don't." His voice is firm but soft, his big hands moving to cradle my face like I might shatter. His thumbs swipe gently under my eyes, catching the tears threatening to spill.
"Don't apologize."
"But I… I want to," I whisper, voice cracking. My fists twist into his shirt. "I really do, but…"
"Shhh." He leans down, pressing his forehead to mine, breathing me in like he's trying to anchor us both.
"It's okay, sunshine. You don't have to explain."
Tears slip free despite my best effort. My body's betraying me, trembling with both desire and fear.
Jack cups my face tighter, thumbs brushing my cheeks like he can wipe away all the cracks in me. "Listen to me. We go at your pace. Always. I don't care how long it takes. I'm not here for your body, Ciel. I'm here for you."