I sat hunched over my desk, pencil in hand, homework spread across the pages. Homeschool. Numbers and words blurred together, my brain too fried from practice to care. My grades were high-mid tier at best—not terrible, not impressive though.
Knock knock.
"Come in."
My brother Macky stepped in, leaning against the doorframe. He was the spitting image of our father—sharp nose, strong jawline, solid presence. Whereas I took more after my mother's western features.
"How was the evaluation?" he asked.
"Trash."
Macky nodded, licking his lips, the way he always did before saying something I didn't want to hear.
"How long are you planning to keep this up?"
Heat crawled under my skin. I didn't answer. Ever since Rowan left and debuted under SW Entertainment, my family's faith in me had cracked. They started whispering about college applications, "backup plans," as if my dream was already slipping through their fingers.
My phone buzzed.
I grabbed it. My heart dropped.
HY-PE Official:
There will be no practice tomorrow. Instead, all trainees are required to attend a meeting at 2 p.m. in the office. Please be on time.
Macky frowned. "What's wrong? You went pale."
"Nothing," I said quickly. "Just a company message. Don't worry about it."
But when I looked at the mirror above my desk, the reflection staring back at me wasn't convincing.
An anxious young man.
Skin drained of color.
Eyes sharp with dread.
My stomach churned. The ache again.
I have a bad feeling about this.
--
I arrived at the office fifteen minutes early. I'd already gone to the bathroom five times because of my anxiety.
Byuongho, Sihun, and Junho were already there.
"Huh?! You guys are early," I said, forcing a grin.
"More like you're late. I was here forty minutes ago. Byuongho and Sihun came ten minutes after me. Where were you?" Junho deadpanned.
I gave him a thumbs up. "I was pooping."
Sihun cracked a small smile.
Junho sighed. "Normally, I'd scold you for saying something like that, but right now… we kind of need your personality."
"So I'm not the only one who has a bad feeling about this?"
They shook their heads.
Junho muttered, "Let's not talk about it. I already feel sick."
At 2:03 PM, the door opened. Producer Kim Seok-In walked in, followed by Manager Kim Seo-In and the artist Vince.
"Hello," they said.
"Hello," we all bowed deeply.
They didn't sit. Just stood in front of us, their faces stiff—somewhere between formal and apologetic.
"We have something important to tell you," Producer Kim began. His voice was calm, too calm. "We thought it was best to deliver it face to face rather than over the phone."
My stomach clenched so hard I thought I'd throw up.
The silence between his sentences was unbearable.
"For three years, we've worked hard to establish a debut team. We invested not only money, but time. We wanted this group to be filled with talent—and we achieved that."
My hands shook under the table.
"We want to thank you for your hard work all these years. We've seen you grow into better performers, better people. That being said…"
He inhaled.
"…your debut is cancelled."
The words dropped like a bomb. Nobody breathed. Even the air felt dead.
My ears rang.
My chest tightened.
Cancelled.
It felt like an eternity before I processed the words.
Junho's chair creaked as he leaned forward, his voice croaked in a whisper. "Are… are you serious?"
Producer Kim's face didn't flinch. "We understand this is difficult, but this is the reality."
Something inside me snapped.
The way they said it—like it was just business, like my years of bleeding for this dream could be summarized in a single sentence—was beyond cruel. Their calmness was worse than anger; it made me feel disposable. A dog toy chewed up until there was nothing left, then tossed aside without a second thought.
But under the weight of their dismissal, heat surged through me. My chest burned, not with defeat but with defiance. If they thought I was finished, they hadn't seen anything yet.
"Are you serious?" My voice cracked, louder this time. My chest heaved. "I've worked non-stop for this company. I gave you everything. And now you're throwing us away like trash?"
Byuongho's voice joined mine, lower but trembling with rage. "Why? Why now? We always gave our best."
Sihun, the one who never raised his voice, slammed his fists on the table. His cheeks wet with tears, but his eyes blazed. "Is it because Rowan left? Ever since he left, it's been like this!"
Junho's voice broke, glassy-eyed. "We trusted you! You told us we'd debut! We built our lives around that promise!"
Producer Kim tried again. "I know it's hard to digest this—"
"Damn right it's hard!" I shot up from my chair, fists trembling. "You wasted three years of my life! My family warned me this would happen, but I kept believing in you. You gave us your word, and now—no wonder Rowan left! I should've left the moment Rowan quit!"
I yanked my trainee card from my pocket and slammed it on the table. "Here. Take it. I'm done wasting another second in this hellhole."
Before anyone could stop me, I stormed out of the room. Out of the building.
I ran as fast as I could. I just wanted to go home.
Tears blurred my vision, hot and furious. Why? Why now? What do I even have left?
By the time I burst through my front door, my sobs had turned uncontrollable.
"Kai?! Is that you?!" my mom rushed from the kitchen, dish towel in hand, eyes wide with panic. "What happened?! What did HY-PE say?!"
"Don't talk to me!" My voice cracked like broken glass. "I'm not in the mood!"
I slammed my bedroom door and collapsed against it.
The silence pressed in. My world had crumbled completely.
What do I do with my life now? I'm too old to start all over.
--
It had been a month since my debut was cancelled. In all that time, I hadn't left the house—not once.
Until now.
In front stood a picture of Jesus surrounded by children, a wooden cross hanging above at the front of the church. I sat beside my family, half-listening to the preacher's voice.
"God has given everyone a gift," he said. "Whether you use it to honor Him—or hide it—is up to you. If you don't know what your gift is? Start serving. Trial and error is how you find it. Don't wait for the perfect moment—it'll never come. Test those abilities of yours, and put them to work."
Everyone has an ability.
I stared at my hands.
I don't think I have a gift. Everyone at HY-PE was overflowing with talent. Meanwhile, I just clawed my way up through hard work. Everything I had was tied to being an idol. Without that… I had nothing.
"Let's pray before the church is dismissed."
The room bowed.
"Heavenly Father, thank you for another day of life. I pray my brothers and sisters use their gifts to honor you. And for those who don't know what their gifts are, guide them, O Lord…"
I shut my eyes.
Lord, please help me find my gift. My life is yours—do with it as you please. Turn this useless and pathetic man into one of your servants.
"...Amen. Church, you are dismissed."
The people began getting up. Others greeted the people next to them.
My father patted my shoulder. "Let's go eat."
As we got up, a familiar voice called, "Kai, is that you?"
I turned to see Sister Min-seo smiling, her daughter Sua standing shyly beside her.
"Yes," I said, bowing politely.
"It's great to see you. Sua, say hi."
"Hello," she whispered.
"Hello," I smiled back.
"You two have met before, why so shy?" Min-seo teased.
"I didn't think we were awkward, madam," I replied, forcing a polite grin.
She chuckled. "You should get to know each other better."
Ah. A setup. Sua was cute, sure—but not my type. Not that it mattered. Girlfriend? I didn't even have the energy to take care of myself.
"Maybe in the future," I said quickly. "I'm not ready to date right now."
I excused myself and followed my family out.
"You should've given her a chance," my brother joked. "It was obvious she likes you."
"Maybe," I muttered, already pulling out my phone.
Three unread messages.
Junho: Hey everyone! I don't know how you've been doing, but I'm pretty sure it's been rough. Let's meet for lunch today at 1, if you're free.
Byuongho: I'll be there.
Sihun: Hey hyungs! Count me in!
I sighed. "Dad, I'm going to have lunch with the guys instead."
"Of course," he said immediately, too quickly.
They'd been so gentle with me ever since my debut cancellation. Hovering. Worrying. The fact that I was meeting friends seemed to lift some invisible weight from their shoulders.
…
I arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes late. My steps dragged as I scanned the room.
"Kai!"
I turned. My former members sat waving from the corner.
"Hey," I greeted, sliding in beside Junho.
"How've you been, hyung?" Sihun asked carefully.
"Like trash," I admitted. "Haven't stepped out of my house in a month."
They nodded knowingly.
"The first week was rough," Junho said quietly. "But… what are your guys plans now?"
"Three weeks ago, I auditioned at SYP Entertainment," Sihun said. "They're putting together a boy group—and I got in."
"Congrats, Sihun!" Junho grinned, high-fiving him.
Byuongho gave him a thumbs-up. "That's a good company!"
I smiled. "Of course you did. With your skills, they'd be stupid not to."
SYP is one HY-PE rivals, getting into the company is no easy feat, but for Sihun who is a former HY-PE trainee, I'm sure it was easy. He is a talented vocalist, dancer and has innocent visuals that captivate people.
Sihun's ears flushed red. "Thanks, hyungs. But… it's going to be a six-member group. Only three spots left. I'm ranked third right now…"
We all understood his worry. Even Sihun didn't mention anyone in particular I knew he was talking about me. When HY-PE was picking 5 members for the debut spot for the group ACE, the 5th spot wasn't given to Seojun Kang, who ranked 5th, instead the spot went to me, and I was ranked 9th. Even though Sihun was still within the debut spot, nothing is guaranteed.
"Don't stress," I said. "Do your best—and aim for first. That's all you can do."
"Thanks." He still wouldn't meet my eyes. "Anyways what about you guys?"
Junho hesitated, ears pink. "After the cancellation, Circle Entertainment reached out. They offered me a spot in their new group. And we're debuting in two months!"
"That's amazing!" I said, meaning it. Though envy twisted inside me.
Circle entertainment is also a well known company but it was not as big as HY-PE but they still debuted many famous artists and had connections.
Junho smiled faintly. "I don't know when we'll see each other again, but hopefully on stage. That's why I contacted you guys, I won't have free time for a long time. Byuongho and Kai?"
He asked, glancing at me and Byuongho.
Byuongho leaned back. "I signed with a label. I'm gonna try acting and modeling. I've got the height, might as well use it."
"Wow!"
"That's amazing, hyung."
"Congrats," I said with a smile that didn't reach my chest. Truthfully, I felt like I was sinking. They were all moving forward. I was the only one stuck.
"You're finally putting those 190 centimeters to use," Junho teased.
Byuongho smiled before glancing at me. "What about you?"
I shrugged. "Thinking of applying to college."
They lit up. "That's great hyung!"
"Any idea what you'll study hyung?"
"No clue." I said curtly.
Silence.
Sihun leaned forward. "Hyung, don't force yourself. If you still want to be an idol, go for it. Don't give up just because of HY-PE."
I nodded half-heartedly.
"Why don't you join my agency?" Byuongho offered. "You're tall, good-looking—they'd accept you in a second."
Truthfully, none of it appealed to me. Acting, modeling, even college. But at least college sounded… nicer.
"Maybe," I said. "I'm still thinking."
They nodded. All except Sihun.
"Hyung, don't wait—just do it. Whether it's college, modeling, or being an idol—this is your life. Don't hesitate."
His words pierced through the fog. My lips twitched upward.
"You're right, hyung." emphasizing the last word
Sihun flushed crimson, looking down.
Byuongho and Junho laughed.
"I didn't mean to sound bossy—"
"I know." I offered him my best smile . "Truth is, I needed to hear that."
Sihun stared at me as if mesmerized.
"Wooow," Sihun groaned, hiding his face. "Still… hyung, do whatever you want but I hope you don't go to college. That'd be a waste of your looks."
For the first time in a month, I actually laughed.
…
What should I do?
I was back at home and freshly out of the shower.
My jet black hair laid flat on my head dripping down my neck and face.
A towel strapped around my waist.
I walked and something caught my eye.
I walked back.
I saw a thin but muscular man.
I flexed my biceps.
They got smaller.
I sighed and put a towel around my head, drying it off.
My ex-members were going out and making their dreams come true. Meanwhile I've been wasting my time being depressed.
Buzz.
I checked my phone.
It was Dahira, my friend who debuted in the group Les fleurs. Her group is making a name for themselves, with their catchy songs.
Hey Kai, I just heard what happened, I'm so sorry…
I didn't read more, it still hurts. I don't like talking about it, it just brings up trauma. I already grieved enough about this, It's time for me to get over it and do something with my life like my former members did.
A notification popped from my phone.
DM from @starlite.ent_official
Hello Kai! We're reaching to you because we vehemently believe in your talent. We are very close in debuting as a boy group. A group we wish for you to be a part of. Please contact us, if you're interested, please contact us soon. We're willing to negotiate with you and join us.
Warm regards,
.Director Yoon Hye-jin
Starlite Entertainment
I read the message over and over again. Could this be a sign?
They're not really a well known company.though?
The chances of making it big are quite slim.
However, they're willing to negotiate with me. HY-PE never did that.
No, I'm a former HY-PE trainee, one of the best companies in the world, maybe I should audition for big companies.
I sighed.
But as far as I know, none of them are debuting boy groups anytime soon.
SW just debuted their new boy group, SYP is in the process of debuting one and Cube is also in the midst of it.
None of them are going to make a boy group anytime soon.
I ran my hand through my hair.
Debuting in a popular company means that I'll gain instant success, but with this company, all the groups they've released ended up disbanded.
What do i do?
I'm already too old?
I don't want to waste another of my life, besides the chances of me debuting in those namely companies is small, I barely made it at HY-PE.
If I want to reach my dream, I'll need to humble myself, and acknowledge I'll have to start over again and potentially face the reality that either my debut will be cancelled or I didn;t make it to the final lineup.
I bit my thumb.
Laid down on my bed.
Sihun gave me good advice. What do I want to do with my life?
I closed my eyes.
Do I want to go to college?
Or should I be a model?
Or an Idol?
I imagined myself on stage, dancing and singing, people cheering me on.
My heart raced with excitement.
I got up from my bed.
"I'll give it another shot,"
I glanced at the DM on my phone.
Should I join this?
I typed:
Hello, I am interested in this group and look forward to discussing the terms with you."
I'll feel them out for now, I'll also send some audition videos to namely companies.
I also will go back to working out to rebuild muscles. It's time to get my life back together.
…
"Director! Director! He responded!" a woman exclaimed, practically bursting into the office.
The man at the desk, buried in a pile of debut documents, sat upright at once.
"What?! What Happened?! Who responded?!"
The company was in the middle of preparing its new boy group, and his office had practically become his second home.
"Remember the trainees I was trying to scout?" Her eyes shone with excitement.
"Ah!" His face lit up. "The ones from the big companies?! Don't tell me you managed to land one!"
She nodded eagerly. "He said he's interested."
"Is he good-looking?!" the boss pressed, already grinning.
"Of course! The Big 4 wouldn't even let an unattractive trainee through their doors. He has the visuals, the skills—everything. I'll make sure we sign him and debut him in our group."
The director slapped the table with delight. "Yes, yes! Do whatever it takes—secure that contract!"
A staff member nearby raised a hesitant hand. "Are we… dropping one of the boys from the lineup then?"
"No," the director said firmly. "We'll make it a six-member group." He turned his sharp gaze back to the woman. "Set up a meeting with him immediately. Forget your other tasks—this is your only priority."
"Is he really that good?" the staff member muttered.
The woman bristled, almost offended. "Good? He's extraordinary. He secured a spot in the debut lineup at HY-PE. He wasn't just any trainee"
The man froze, eyes widening. "HY-PE?! And he made it their debut lineup?!"
"Yes," she confirmed. "But his debut was cancelled. He also happens to be close friends with Rowan Park. He has connections unlike us."
The man's jaw dropped. "Rowan Park—the rookie everyone's talking about?!"
"Exactly. Bringing him into our group will change everything. He'll provide us the connections we lack. His former members are bound to make it big and they'll be willing work with us because we have one of their former members,"
The boss leaned back in his chair, already strategizing. "Book a restaurant. We'll meet him in style. Someone like that—we cannot lose."
The woman bowed quickly and left, her lips curving into a triumphant smile.
I was the first to see your talent. I'll be the first to claim you again.
…
I stopped in front of the restaurant.
It looked high-end—the kind of place that probably served drinks for fifteen dollars a cup. Minimalist, sleek, but expensive-looking.
It had been three weeks since I pulled myself together. In that time, I'd rebuilt my physique and sent audition videos to other companies. I applied to FMX, DSP, and QY Entertainment—they were all relatively well known companies. And these agencies are all likely to debut a new boy group within 3 years. To my surprise, all three accepted me.
And yet… I still wasn't sure. I didn't want to wait years. I just wanted to debut.
As soon as I replied to Starlite Entertainment, they answered immediately, eager to meet me at the earliest convenience. But I pushed them back three weeks—time I needed to return to peak form and weigh my options.
Now here I was.
I checked my phone.
6:45 p.m.
Fifteen minutes early.
"Do you have a reservation?" a host asked.
"Um… for Director Yoon Hye-jin," I said, my voice a little awkward.
"Ah, yes. Please follow me."
As he led me through the restaurant, he glanced back. "You're really good-looking, by the way."
I forced a polite smile. "You're too kind."
Nerves kept me from enjoying the compliment.
The host opened a door near the back, revealing two men and one woman seated at a private table.
"Hello," I said quickly, bowing at ninety degrees.
"Hello," they echoed.
I stepped in, giving smaller bows as I crossed the room, before sitting across from them.
The man in the center looked like the one in charge. The man beside him, likely his assistant. And the woman… something about her felt oddly familiar, though I couldn't put my finger on it.
Despite my nerves, I managed a small smile and sat upright.
"Wow," the man in charge said, eyes scanning me. "You're really good-looking. Out of all the idols I've seen, I think you're number one."
My ears burned. "Thank you…"
"I agree," the woman chimed in, her eyes bright. "Such striking eyes, full lips, skin like porcelain—honestly, you look incredible in person."
"He's also tall," the assistant added eagerly. "I was impressed the moment you walked in."
The heat rose to my face. Their compliments came one after another, almost suffocating.
"Thank you… you're too kind."
The man shook his head. "No, I'm only stating facts. I can't believe HY-PE let you go." He gestured toward the woman. "Oh, and do you recognize one of our executives?"
I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to recall. "You seem familiar… Where have we met?"
Her smile widened. "When we first met, I was working at HY-PE."
Silence fell for a beat.
"I was the one who recruited you."
A spark of recognition hit me. "Ah—it was you!" My smile stretched wide. "It's great to see you again."
I can't believe the women who began my journey to become an idol works here,
I bowed my head in gratitude.
"It's great to see you too," she replied warmly.
I looked back at the man in the center.
He cleared his throat and slid a folder across the table. "Very well. Let's get straight to the point."
Inside were documents, neatly clipped together.
"We're in the process of debuting a boy group," he continued. "Once you join, the lineup will be complete. Everything is prepared—we only need to film the music video. Within two months, you'll debut."
Two months. The words echoed in my head.
I lowered my gaze to the contract.
Idol Debut Agreement
This Agreement is made on xx/xx/xxxx between Starlite Entertainment and Kai Song.
Clause after clause spelled out the terms: five years, training, promotions, revenue distribution, recoupment. My eyes caught on the most shocking part:
Starlite Ent. 40% / Group Expenses 20% / Artist 40%
Forty percent! Twice more than what I had expected! Almost generous.
The man clasped his hands. "This group has enormous potential. The members are skilled, polished—but they're missing one piece. You." His gaze bore into me. "You're the final puzzle piece."
I swallowed, my fingers brushing the edge of the pen they'd set beside the folder.
The other companies had accepted me, sure—but none had promised a debut, much less a debut in two months. Did I really want to spend another year training, waiting, wondering if I'd ever step on a stage?
"You don't need to answer immediately," the man added smoothly. "We'll give you two weeks. Take the time to think it over. Call us when you're ready."
The room was quiet, their expectant faces watching me.
I glanced once more at the contract. At my name, already printed there. At the empty line where my signature belonged.
Before I could second-guess myself, I picked up the pen.
The scratch of ink on paper was loud in the silence.
Kai Song.
My chest tightened.
I looked up. "It's an honor. Please take care of me."
The man's lips curved into a wide smile. "Welcome to Starlite Entertainment."
…
"Hyuuunnng, I'm sooo tiirrreed."
Diego flopped dramatically onto his member's lap, earning a groan.
"Finally, he collapsed," Minho muttered from where he lay sprawled on the floor.
"I know, Diego has too much energy for his own good," Jiwoo added, absentmindedly brushing Diego's messy hair off his forehead.
"It's because he's Mexican," another member teased, taking a sip of water.
Diego Hyun is the youngest of the group—just sixteen. Half-Korean, half-Mexican, he had grown up in Mexico before moving to the U.S. at nine, and finally to Korea four years later. Fluent in English, Spanish, and Korean, Diego was a ball of endless energy, and his hyungs were often the ones suffering for it.
"Maybe you guys are just lazy," Diego shot back, grinning.
"Nooo, definitely not! Right, Jiwoo?" Minho said from the floor, his bleached blond hair sticking to his forehead with sweat.
"That's crazy talk," Jiwoo replied, shaking his head, his neatly parted hair still somehow perfect despite the practice.
"Who's crazy—me or Diego?" Minho asked.
"Diego," Jiwoo answered flatly.
"Ay, Minho, get up. Your sweat's dripping everywhere," Seung-hyun scolded, noticing drops of his sweat spilling onto the floor.
Minho laughed, pushing himself up. "You should tell Diego to get up, too. His sweat's all over your pants."
Seung-hyun looked down at Diego and sighed. "Ay, Diego, get up."
"Nooo."
"Get up."
"Dang, Seung-hyun-hyung," Diego groaned, but finally rolled off his lap.
At that moment, the door swung open.
Their leader, Jung Tae-yang, stepped inside. At 182cm, he towered over the younger ones, clapping his hands together with authority.
"Break time's over," he announced. "Let's run the song again."
"I'm really starting to hate our song," Minho groaned.
"Ay! Watch what you say," Tae-yang snapped.
"Honestly, aren't you getting sick of it too?" Jiwoo muttered.
"Formations! Everyone!" their dance teacher barked as he entered.
Bom… bom… bom… bom. Bom. bom. Bom. bom. Bom-bom.
The beat echoed through the room as they launched into practice, bodies moving in sync, every lyric and step etched into muscle memory.
By the time practice ended, the clock read 2 a.m.
The door opened again.
This time, it wasn't a staff member.
It was CEO Kim Pi-Young, flanked by the Director and an executive.
"Hello," the trainees said quickly, bowing low.
"How was practice?" the CEO asked, smiling.
"Very good," Tae-yang answered firmly, like the leader he was.
"Good, good." The CEO clasped his hands together. "I have an important announcement."
The room froze.
"You will be debuting two months from now."
For a moment, there was silence—then chaos.
Diego screamed, throwing himself into Jiwoo and Seung-hyun's arms.
Minho broke into a grin so wide it nearly split his face.
Tae-yang covered his mouth with one hand, disbelief and pride flickering in his eyes.
"That being said…" the CEO continued, "we've decided to make some last-minute changes."
The energy in the room dropped instantly.
"We will be adding another member to the group."
Shock rippled through the trainees.
"Yes, this will be a six-member group. I know some of you may have concerns, but this new member is extremely talented and will help strengthen the group." The CEO's voice was calm but firm. "He'll be joining tomorrow. Please welcome him warmly."
He turned to the director and executive. "Anything you'd like to add?"
"Yes," the executive said with a smile. "This trainee was formerly pre-debut at HY-PE."
The words hit like a bomb.
"A former HY-PE trainee?!" Minho blurted.
"Wait, what?!" Diego's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "We're getting a big shot?!"
"I auditioned for HY-PE and they rejected me," Jiwoo muttered, his tone half-bitter, half-awed.
"I'm shocked… but excited," Seung-hyun admitted.
"He is a really nice guy and has the same goals and just as much passion as you guys so please help him to adjust." The executive glanced at the CEO
"Goodnight, everyone," the CEO said warmly. The executive and director waved as they left.
The door closed. Silence settled heavy over the room.
Finally, Minho turned to Tae-yang, eyes wide. "Hyung… we're seriously getting a new member. A HY-PE trainee."
"No way…" Diego bounced on his toes, his energy returning instantly. "What if he's amazing? What if he's famous?"
"I can't wait to see his face," Minho said, his grin widening.
"Me too! I want to see how handsome you have to be to be a trainee at HY-PE," Jiwoo added, eyes sparkling with curiosity.
Diego tilted his head. "Handsome? That's all you care about?"
"Of course," Jiwoo shot back. "If he's not at least half as good-looking as me, I'll file a complaint to HY-PE."
Diego and Seung-hyun burst out in laughter.
Minho smirked. "Half? Hyung, you're aiming too high."
Tae-yang exhaled slowly. "Listen, tomorrow, make sure you put in more effort in your appearance than usual. Look sharp. Arrive thirty minutes early."
His gaze hardened with resolve.
"I'll treat him well… but let's hope he doesn't come in acting arrogant just because he's from one of the Big Four."