"A birthday?" I had to ask, still not quite recovered from the shock and the sudden explosion of party poppers. Colorful confetti was slowly settling on my hair and shoulders.
"Yes, my love. It's Christmas today!" a radiant Lute came up to me and gave me a tender kiss. She then rested her head on my shoulder and hugged me tightly, gently pulling me inside the house, into the very center of the festive chaos.
The one thing I definitely didn't expect was for so many people to show up for my... let's call it a "party." Especially for something as seemingly personal as a birthday. The previous Adam had lived for over ten thousand years, and while he might have celebrated annually for the first few millennia, over time he just stopped caring about the ever-growing number. First, he started celebrating once a decade, then once a century, because, in principle, he didn't need a special reason for a good time. It got to the point where I didn't even know the exact number. I know it's over 10,000, but by how much? I could be 11,000 or even 12,000, simply because the last jubilee celebration was a long, long time ago…
Nevertheless, he remembered the date perfectly and was even very proud that his birthday had become a real, major holiday for both humans and angels. In Hell, as far as I know, they celebrate this day too, but differently. Evilmas? Sinmas? In short, some real bullshit that causes pretty much the same thing to happen on all Circles of Hell as it does in Pentagram City. A total clusterfuck, in case anyone forgot. Albeit just for one day… And my helpful memory also suggests that a certain duck enthusiast we all know had a hand in introducing this "holiday" in Hell… Okay, I need to calm down. No need to shove rubber duckies up my new friend's colon. Even if he was quite an asshole before…
"You can unwrap your presents tomorrow. For now, let's go to the table!" Lute gave me a light push toward a huge, richly set table, laden with a whole bunch of different, appetizing-looking dishes. In Heaven, by the way, this was practically a classic birthday celebration: a large feast, loud toasts, cheerful drinking, and silly contests, after which the tired but happy guests would go home, and the birthday boy could finally look at all his gifts in peace and quiet. And often, this happened the next day, because a full day of such shenanigans usually left the birthday boy so exhausted that after the guests left, he would just collapse onto the bed with a happy smile and fall asleep instantly.
To be honest, it was very pleasant to receive all these congratulations, hear the warm words, and generally feel that I was part of one big, albeit slightly crazy, "team." Almost all the Seraphim came, except for Uriel and Lucifer, of course. But the former barely ever left her library, and the latter was banned from Heaven for obvious reasons. Shit, so does that mean that little prick Lucifer was busting my balls during that trial on my own birthday?! What a petty, feathered asshole! He could have at least cut me some slack!
Some of the exorcist girls were also here, my dear veteran friends, my dear children with their families, and even Abaddon was here, though he looked extremely embarrassed in this new, unfamiliar company. And because of his presence, a certain well-known Head Seraph was throwing me some seriously suspicious looks… Well, at least she wasn't saying anything, so thanks for that. Let's hope she forgets about it over time… Okay, I'm probably fucked tomorrow, but I'll try not to think about it today.
The evening flew by in a warm, almost family-like atmosphere. Even the usually strict Sera allowed herself to relax and laughed sincerely at George's jokes several times. Emily fluttered among the guests like a small, glowing butterfly, managing to give everyone her attention… Maybe I should set her up with Abaddon? I've heard about his socialization problems… My sons, Abel and Seth, seemed to have finally found common ground and were now heatedly discussing some new rock band, while Abaddon listened with genuine, almost childlike curiosity, occasionally chiming in with questions.
It was… good. Better than it had been in a very long time. I sat at the head of the table, with Lute cozied up beside me, listening to the cheerful hum of voices, looking at the happy faces of my friends and family, and for the first time in a long while, I didn't feel like the Archangel who had to solve everyone's problems with a stick up his ass, but just a regular guy… at home. Surrounded by those who were truly dear to me. And that was, perhaps, the best gift of all.
The morning didn't start with coffee. And no, Lute, unfortunately, wasn't involved in my awakening, although we did spend the night quite productively… Anyway, I was woken up by the persistent beeping of my helmet lying on the nightstand—someone was insistently calling me on it. Stretching and yawning sweetly, I teleported to the floor (because, as usual, a very attractive valkyrie had me tightly wrapped in her arms and legs), then put on the helmet and answered the call from Sera.
"Adam, sorry to call so early…" Sera began, beating around the bush. "I'd like to discuss your newborn son with you…" Well, yeah, that was logical. I figured the complaints about such "unnatural" reproduction, if you could even call it that, were about to start. Plus, it was impossible not to notice the Darkness in Abaddon. Even though there was no proper sensory ability here, the powers of Darkness had a distinctly grim color palette compared to the Light: red instead of gold, black instead of white, and so on. In short, it was quite possible to determine whether Light or Darkness was being used based on circumstantial evidence. And Sera, who seemed to be the only Seraph with any semblance of this sensory ability (how else would she have checked me for Darkness in the past?), had no problem with it at all. "And one other very important matter…" the woman continued. "How about we meet at that café on the main street? The one with the pink cake on the sign." Fun fact: Sera absolutely adored cakes, although for some completely incomprehensible reason she tried to hide it, but everyone knew.
"No problem. How about in an hour?" I suggested, simultaneously wondering what else she could possibly want to discuss. Personally, I'd been thinking for a while about revealing my brilliant ideas about the Abyss to the Seraphim, but I wasn't entirely sure how to present it without being accused of some other bullshit, like "interfering with God's work" or something.
"Good. See you then," Sera agreed and immediately hung up. I took off the helmet, yawned sweetly again, and looked at the clock. Seven in the morning… Couldn't she have called at noon? Oh, Sera, no sense of timing. "All for the job, all for the front." That's probably why she still doesn't have a man… Ahem…
It was impossible to eavesdrop on conversations through the helmets by normal means, so Lute hadn't heard a thing. She was now peacefully snoozing in our bed, having completely occupied my pillow and subjecting it to her tight hugs. Smiling at the cute sight, I fought back my lust and quietly went down to the first floor, materializing my usual clothes on the way: a simple t-shirt and shorts. I'd been wearing this stuff a lot lately—it was comfortable, practical, and not too hot (not that the heat bothered me at all, to be honest). Surprisingly, the hall was already clean, with no hint that just yesterday, a rather drunk George had hosted a fun limbo contest, to the amusement of the entire audience and, of course, to the delight of all the male representatives present, who watched with interest as the beautiful ladies' ample chests repeatedly collided with the pole held up by my Light.
I went into the kitchen and started to habitually cook bacon and eggs. Today, I decided to make a little surprise for Lute—add a pinch of the Cosmos to it. I wondered what effect it would have, and what feelings it would evoke in my sweet little angel. In quiet morning moments like these, many different thoughts come to mind, and you suddenly realize clearly—you're happy. Friends, family, limitless power… I already had everything one could wish for. If it weren't for Eve… if not for her, I could have already been dealing with the problem of Hell head-on, instead of flying back and forth like a goddamn whirlwind, desperately trying to maintain the fragile stability of the entire universe. What will I do after all this is over?
My deep, philosophical musings were interrupted by someone's unseen presence, and then I was gently hugged from behind and a face nuzzled into my neck.
"Mmm…" Lute hummed sleepily, yawning. "Good morning…"
"Morning. Sit down, it's almost ready…" I couldn't keep a happy smile off my face again, looking tenderly at this sleepy, disheveled miracle.
"Mmm-hmm…" the girl yawned again, slowly sitting down at the table. Considering she was only wearing a pair of short shorts and my t-shirt… well, I had to summon all my willpower not to lose it and, as a result, be late for my meeting with Sera.
"You have the day off today?" I turned off the heat and plated the bacon and eggs, simultaneously using telekinesis to chop fresh vegetables for a salad.
"Mhm. I took it specifically so I wouldn't have to jump out of bed at six in the morning…" Lute nodded, looking at me thoughtfully. "What about you?"
"Well, in about…" I glanced at the clock, "twenty minutes, I have a meeting with Sera. I guess I'll be explaining the recent addition to the family," I sighed heavily, approaching the table and placing a plate in front of her.
"Abaddon?" the girl asked with interest, immediately pulling the plate closer and picking up her fork.
"Yup. You're a sweetheart for being so understanding, but I'll have to explain long and hard to Sera where exactly I got a son who reeks of concentrated Darkness from a mile away…" I cut a piece of the egg with my fork, speared a crispy piece of bacon, and immediately popped it into my mouth. Mmm, delicious… "How's the breakfast, by the way?"
"..." Lute silently did the same, and then, for a second, she froze strangely. "What did you do to these eggs?!" Coming to her senses, the girl practically jumped in her chair. "I've never eaten anything this delicious in my life!"
"Heh, well, I think I have a couple of ideas on how I can teach you to cook the same way…" I smiled at the girl who was bouncing with excitement. Yeah, teaching her the concept of the Cosmos itself would be quite difficult, but it would be very useful for a retreat… and Lute definitely needed to have that option. I didn't want to lose her to some stupid accident. I'd seen enough of those possibilities in the visions and had no desire to repeat them in reality.
Some time later
After my talk with Lute, I didn't have much time left. So I just teleported to the café Sera had mentioned. It was a pretty nice, cozy place: large panoramic windows, comfortable and soft armchairs, friendly, smiling staff. In short, a typical café in Heaven, except, in my opinion, they went a bit overboard with the color pink—all the walls were a delicate pink, with white hearts painted on them. Well, everyone seemed to like it, so whatever.
Sera was already sitting at a corner table, eating some heart-shaped pastry with gusto. There was no one else in the café except the cashier, which was normal. People in Heaven usually had breakfast at home. I walked inside, nodding with a smile to the guy who was most likely both the owner and the cook, approached Sera, and sat down at her table.
"Yo, Sera. Been waiting long?" I leaned back in my chair, lacing my hands behind my head.
"Good morning, Adam," the woman nodded, setting her pastry down on the plate with visible regret, next to others just like it. "I'm sorry for calling you so early. It didn't occur to me that you might not have gotten enough sleep. Nevertheless, it's very important for me, as well as the other Seraphim, to know about the nature of your… son. Abaddon, to be precise." The Head Seraph folded her hands and looked at me expectantly.
"Well, as you've probably figured out yourself, I created him. Gave him a body, a soul, and, well, life," I explained the obvious.
"We understand that much already," Sera interrupted me gently. "What concerns me more is that he is full of Darkness. And if you created him, then there must be Darkness in you too, right?" There was genuine concern in the woman's gaze, as well as in her voice.
"Yes, there is indeed Darkness in me," I admitted, preparing for anything. "I ate the Fruit of Knowledge. And Darkness filled me. But I'm not on Eve's side, in case you were worried about that, and I haven't turned into some terrible monstrosity either."
"You could have at least warned us before doing it…" Sera sighed heavily, her gaze dropping sadly. Well, at least she's not trying to kill me, so thanks for that. "Adam, do you understand HOW dangerous that was? Why don't you trust us?"
"Don't trust you?" I raised an eyebrow in surprise. What kind of question was that? "I trust you completely, it's just…"
"It's just that instead of doing it under our supervision, you did it all by yourself. You're not a fool, you must have understood that such actions were, in any case, extremely dangerous!" Sera continued, her eyes now full of genuine sadness as she looked at me. Damn, I felt like I had let my mother down. Although Sera and I didn't exactly have that kind of relationship…
"I'm sorry, Sera, next time…" I started, holding my hands up in a defensive gesture, then caught her suspicious glance. "I mean, it definitely won't happen again," I corrected myself immediately.
"Adam, understand, we… I know we might seem not very effective to you, but… Yes, we probably would have tried to talk you out of it, but we definitely wouldn't have forced you. We are not your enemies, Adam. And we trust you completely. If you thought it was necessary to protect Heaven, we would have certainly helped you."
"Sera, I get it. I'm telling you, I fucked up, it happens. If anything comes up, I'll definitely let you know. I trust you guys, it's just, well… I didn't want to make you nervous for no reason, I guess," I blurted out, getting a little tangled in my own words. I mean, I did trust the Seraphim, in principle, but her "we would have helped" in the context of letting Darkness into my body sounded fucking weird. Especially coming from the Seraphim themselves, who were afraid of Darkness like fire… well, the Seraphim definitely weren't afraid of fire, but…
"Didn't want to make us nervous? Adam, do you have any idea how nervous we all were when we found out?" Sera frowned. "In any case, I'm asking you, please, don't doubt us," she exhaled, taking a sip from her mug of something hot.
"Okay. You'll have to forgive me for not giving a heads-up." The whole thing felt fucking bizarre to me. The Seraphim, being dead fucking serious, were telling me this? What was with the sudden burst of trust? It was so unlike them. No, I guess one could assume that this "recognition" and the fact that "their boy" had finally turned eleven thousand one hundred and ninety-two had influenced them so much, but… still, it was weird.
On the other hand, they didn't despise Lucifer for the Darkness itself in him, but for his mistake, for breaking a direct prohibition. And I'm sure they had noticed all these changes in my behavior too. They were peculiar, yes. But I could never call them idiots—after learning what kind of knowledge was needed to embody an entire world, I finally understood the skills and knowledge my "parents" possessed. I was still a long way from their level. Though, I was getting close to something similar.
"Adam, can you answer one more question for me?" Sera continued after a minute of silence.
"Of course, what is it?"
"Why was Abaddon created from Darkness?"
"Um…" Damn, what should I tell her? "I just wanted a new, cool body made of Darkness, but don't get the wrong idea, it's only so I don't suffer from attacks with that same Darkness"? "I'm planning to change the current order of things a bit," I finally decided to reveal something else to her. That old plan of mine was long gone, but I hadn't yet told them about my desire to create the "Abyss" and completely re-equip Hell. Given all her recent words about trust, I hoped I wasn't making a mistake now. "At the moment, sinners in Hell are not reforming at all, they just continue to stew in that cauldron of their numerous sinful deeds. They have never atoned for their sins. Is that right?"
"Atoned for their sins?" Sera was surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Look. Earth has big problems right now, as you well know, because of Eve's influence, and most people end up in Hell after they die. And there, instead of changing somehow, becoming better, they just continue to drown in the shit that the Pride ring is right now. There are no punishments, or certainly no attempts to reform, there now and there never have been. I would like to change that, and give all those sinners a real chance at redemption."
"Adam, you… you've changed so much…" Sera breathed out. "That sounds quite… serious. I've already made many decisions on my own, but this is something I'd like to hear at our next general meeting. Are you okay with that?"
"Not at all. I'd even be happy to give a short presentation," I winked at her, then brazenly expropriated Sera's mug and took a big gulp from it. Some kind of berry tea, or something like that. Tasty. Just right for a cute little café like this.
"Alright. Then I think I'll be going," Sera replied, paying no attention to my antics. "See you later, Adam… and don't forget that we will always be on your side," she added at the end, before politely excusing herself. Time had flown by completely unnoticed during our conversation. And here I was expecting complaints, but instead, I got support and trust… It feels good, damn it. Nothing more to say…