The great hall of Asgard shimmered with a light that seemed woven from gold itself. Upon the throne sat not Odin, but his firstborn, Hela. In this reality, she was not a goddess of death, but a queen of life, her reign celebrated across the Nine Realms as one of peace and prosperity. Her bearing was majestic, her dark hair braided with silver, and her eyes held a wisdom that was both ancient and kind. Beside the throne, Odin and Frigga stood, their faces filled with pride for their virtuous daughter.
Before them stood a trio of troublemakers: Thor, Loki, and Sylvie.
"Loki," Hela began, her voice echoing with calm authority, yet laced with disappointment. "When you arrived with Sylvie, a fugitive from another dimension, we did not question it. We sheltered her. We helped you fight the Time-Keepers who hunted you. We did this because you are family."
She rose from the throne, her violet and white gown flowing around her as she descended the steps. "But now… now you run rampant through the Nine Realms like careless children. You started a tavern brawl with Frost Giants, you 'borrowed' a sacred relic from the Light Elves, and Thor, you challenged the champion of Muspelheim to a drinking contest that nearly reignited a war."
Loki had the decency to look ashamed, his eyes fixed on the polished floor. Sylvie stood stiffly beside him, her expression a mixture of guilt and annoyance. This wasn't her mess, but she was being scolded all the same.
Thor, however, remained unbothered. He leaned casually on his hammer, Mjolnir, a smirk playing on his lips. "They were insults to Asgard's honor, sister. I merely defended it."
Hela stopped in front of him, her gaze hardening. "You defended nothing. You indulged your own arrogance. And you two," she said, turning to Loki and Sylvie, "you did nothing to stop him. You are princes of Asgard. You are meant to be examples."
"I am truly sorry, sister," Loki said quietly, and he meant it.
"Your sorrow is noted, brother," Hela said, her tone softening slightly before turning back to Thor. "But it is your pride that is the root of this problem. You are unworthy of the power you wield so carelessly."
With a flick of her wrist, Mjolnir flew from Thor's grasp and landed in her outstretched hand. Thor reached for it, shocked, but his fingers couldn't close around the handle.
"What is this?" he boomed.
"A lesson," Hela declared. "You are a prince, Thor, but you have forgotten what it means to serve. You will learn humility. You will learn sacrifice. You will become worthy again." She turned to Heimdall, who stood guard at the entrance to the hall. "Open the Bifrost. Send them to Midgard. All three of them."
"Hela, no!" Thor protested.
But it was too late. The brilliant, rainbow-hued light of the Bifrost engulfed them, pulling them from the golden halls of Asgard and spitting them out onto the dusty plains of New Mexico.
"Well, look what you've done, brother!" Loki snapped, brushing dust from his fine leather tunic. "Exiled! Because you couldn't resist showing off."
"Oh, be quiet, Loki," Thor grumbled, trying and failing to summon his hammer. "You'll support me in this, because you have to."
Loki raised an eyebrow. "And why is that?"
"Because," Thor said, a sly grin spreading across his face, "I helped you hide the truth from Hela. That your dear Sylvie isn't just from another dimension, but another universe entirely. A universe where she is you. You fell in love with yourself, Loki. I've been saying it since we were children—you love yourself more than anyone else in the Nine Realms. Turns out, I was right."
Loki froze, his face paling. Sylvie's eyes flashed with fury. "I will crack his head open," she seethed.
"He has a point, though," Thor continued, poking Loki in the chest. "A bit narcissistic, even for you."
Before Sylvie could make good on her threat, a beat-up pickup truck pulled up beside them. A woman with bright, intelligent eyes leaned out the window. "You guys look lost. Need a ride?"
Her name was Jane Foster. She was an astrophysicist, and to Thor, she was the most fascinating creature he had ever met. She spoke of stars and wormholes not as magic, but as science. She showed him the simple joys of Earth: the taste of coffee, the comfort of a diner breakfast, the beauty of a desert sunset. For the first time, Thor wasn't thinking about battles or glory or the throne of Asgard. He was thinking about holding Jane's hand.
Loki and Sylvie, initially tense and focused on getting back home, watched the transformation with a mixture of disbelief and relief. The arrogant, battle-hungry god was being tamed by a mortal scientist. Seeing Thor so genuinely happy, so… human, allowed them to relax. They found a small apartment, and Loki, using a bit of magic, secured them jobs. They started to build a life, a quiet, normal life they never thought they wanted.
While Thor and Jane's romance blossomed under the stars, Loki and Sylvie found a deeper connection. They were two sides of the same coin, two broken pieces that somehow made a whole. They understood each other's pain, ambition, and loneliness in a way no one else ever could. One evening, sitting on the roof of their apartment, looking at the same sky Thor and Jane were stargazing under, Loki turned to her.
"This is ridiculous," he said.
"What is?" Sylvie asked.
"Us. This life. It's simple. It's quiet. I should hate it," he said. "But I don't." He took her hand. "I love you, Sylvie. And I don't care how narcissistic that makes me. Marry me."
Sylvie, the fierce warrior who had fought her whole life, simply smiled. "Okay."
The wedding was a small affair in their backyard. Jane was Sylvie's maid of honor. Thor was Loki's best man.
"Well, brother," Thor said, clapping Loki on the back as they waited for Sylvie to walk down the aisle. "You're finally doing it. You're the first man in history to marry himself. Or… not marry himself? It's all very confusing."
"Shut up, Thor," Loki said, but he was smiling.
The wedding was perfect. For a brief, shining moment, they were all just people, celebrating love and finding happiness in the most unexpected of places.
But peace was a luxury they couldn't afford. As they were cutting the cake, the sky tore open. The Bifrost slammed down in the middle of the yard, and a frantic Heimdall stepped out.
"Thor! Loki! You must come now! Asgard is under attack!"
Heimdall grabbed them all—Thor, Loki, Sylvie, and a very confused Jane—and pulled them back to Asgard. They arrived to chaos. The golden city was in flames. Creatures of fire and shadow rampaged through the streets. In the throne room, they found Hela on the ground, wounded, a dark, cursed blade lying beside her. She had been attacked from behind.
A wave of pure rage washed over Thor. Seeing his sister, his strong, benevolent sister, struck down… it broke something inside him. He reached for Mjolnir, but it wasn't the hammer he was reaching for. It was something deeper. A power that had been sleeping inside him all along.
A bolt of lightning, bigger than any he had ever summoned, crashed down from the sky and slammed into his chest. His eyes glowed with power. He didn't need the hammer. He was the storm. The power of Asgard itself flowed through him.
"Loki! Sylvie! To my side!" he roared.
The three of them became a whirlwind of destruction. Thor was a force of nature, lightning arcing from his body. Loki and Sylvie fought back-to-back, their magic and daggers a seamless, deadly dance. They fought not just as princes, but as a family, protecting their home. They pushed back the invaders, saved their people, and stopped the would-be Ragnarok before it could consume their world.
In the aftermath, with the fires extinguished and the enemy defeated, everything settled into a new kind of normal. Hela, now healing, officially gave her blessing to Loki and Sylvie's marriage, which was now the talk of Asgard.
Thor, having proven himself worthy beyond any doubt, took Jane's hand. "My place is with you," he said. He had found his home, and it wasn't a golden throne.
Loki and Sylvie stood beside them, looking out at the Bifrost bridge. "As much as I love a good fight," Sylvie said, "I think I prefer arguing with you about who's turn it is to do the dishes."
Loki smiled. "Midgard has its charms."
And so, the two princes and their loves returned to Earth, not as exiles, but as heroes who had found that sometimes, the greatest kingdom you can find is a small, quiet life with the person you love.