If it was a web novel written by a very amateur author, then you would already know that I am a Prophet of some Dead God.
And that all my actions have been predetermined by someone, so don't blame me if I do something stupid in the future! Anyway...
Well to first clarify my situation, we have to go back a bit.
I know, not the first thing a self proclaimed prophet should be doing, but it is important, you'll understand eventually(how was that heh)
I used to be a very normal straight out of high school girl, who was just about to start college.
I won three consecutive top prizes in a lottery, the 1st prize being a sizable sum of money which would be enough for my studies abroad.
Hey I can smell the jealousy, it came at the right time.
I was very happy, what could go wrong? Turns out a World War is just one click away. Completely unexpected.
Anyway, after the war broke out, in case you think "Oh she died, now we can start", it wasn't total collapse, there was still a nuclear deterrence.
The war just made life very difficult.
The college to where I was supposed to enroll? Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust.
My family... perished while on a separate flight.
The entire economic infrastructure was turned upside down, even the money I was supposed to get also got stuck
And frankly, since my family's passing, I had probably stopped caring, what can I do?
Even if I knew it was going to happen, how could I stop such a big or small possibility.
Who knew what caused this, it might have been in motion long before I graduated, or just on a random Tuesday over some misunderstanding.
Days, months passed by.
There would be constant military activity, youths would be called on for mandatory military enrollment and other mining jobs.
Not long after, the focus shifted on large scale war machine production surprisingly fast.
That does it, they've been ready for this since a long time I thought. Hahahaha
I barely scraped by going back and forth between small jobs that kept popping up here and there.
The experience of living in a modern war is pretty weird, I didn't know much about what was going on, the news also just replayed the events and the cause of the fallout.
My life felt like being surrounded by a huge fog, I could not predict what would happen next or if my decision would make me trip and left hurt.
I could only follow my dim feelings and breeze through the heavy uncertainty.
By the time our daily life gained a rhythm of sort, something even more shocking crashed on to Earth.
No, not aliens or the sort, but something that could make us those lofty interplanetary aliens. A major tech breakthrough came packed up on our doorsteps.
Obviously, at such a awkward timing, there is no mention of cooperation, winner takes it all, and that's how the world ended, at least that's my head canon.
You think it's too pessimistic, if you saw the headlines, you would know nobody's sharing that.
Oh and also that other thing there crashed into my house and kidnapped me while I was watching the news.
So I wouldn't know if the world ended or decided to kiss and made up.
Ok, now that I am finally dead, it's time for my exciting journey in a new world. I hope it isn't suffering from the same or worse issues.
Hah...
It's not like I am dead, it's That!
That is dead, it crashed into my room, It tackled me, tore a hole through my fucking chest!
Somehow I got dragged into that hole and now I'm here.
When I woke up, the hole was still there. And I was still lost in a heavy fog, for a long time to come.
.
.
.
Day 1
"No matter how I look at it, it just looks like a very skinny dried corpse, kinda humanoid, but I can't tell between which are hands or legs, or does it even have such a distinction, hmm it's missing it's...head!? Did it lose it? or is it around here?"
I observed the culprit who barged into my house and dragged me in this place.
But alas my kidnapper is dead and I don't even know where this place is where he dumped me before croaking.
Because everywhere else I look around, is filled with fog, the only light I can see is a silhouette of the sun that peeks through the dense fog above.
If I still had a heart, I would have already been having a panic attack, but all that's left in its place is a hole the size of a head.
It feels like I lost some important organs, at the same time, I am also very confused about how I am even moving moving alive.
While trying to look for a solution, I keep my eyes on the corpse.
What would I do if it suddenly disappears?
"It's texture kinda reminds me of fresh basalt."
(Here, similar to black colored cooled liquified rock just after lava cools down)
Some places looked like they were torn. It also doesn't seem like there is anything inside.
Strangely enough it looks kinda like a suit.
With nothing better to do and kind of scared in his unfamiliar place,
I closely try to figure out this corpse, to the only thing from my home, for however short it was there.
I get the feeling that to leave this place, and also other unusual situations I might encounter, I have to start with this corpse.
Thinking this, I reach out and touch it.
This is my first revelation.
This... I suddenly feel like putting the corpse-suit on.
"What the fuck? No bad idea, not doing, not doing.."
Before I know it I have started undressing.
"Wha- NO! I AM NOT WEARING THAT CREEPY-"
thud plop plop
My blazer seems to have dropped, and the topmost buttons have somehow loosened out of nowhere.
"Eh- ehgeye-!!"
I take out my pants with a finese I didn't think my body could display, but my hands still feel like they are not done yet
"Wait!, NO! WHY?"
swoop
"(°〇°)"
fooish
I feel cold.
Its already been three whole minutes.
I can't even try to pick up my clothes, only the path to the corpse is walkable.
Even though I try to reach for them, after just a few steps, I feel a resistence until I cannot go any further.
I feel a slight but very noticeable pull towards the corpse.
"I really don't want to go there."
My first contact with it was suspicious as well, 'Why would I willingly reach out to touch such a gross thing?'
"Maybe it brainwashed me or marked me when it touched me?!
Will it turn me into nutrients or an energy source?
Is it out of energy?
Is that why it isn't moving like back in my room?"
With each passing second, it feels unbearable and finally I begin slowly walking towards it hoping for some relief or answer.
But the closer I get the more, restricted my movements become.
It feels like walking a narrow passage that becomes narrower the closer I get to the corpse.
With each passing step, the feeling that I am going to wear the suit gradually transforms into certainty.
"Nononono please no nonno"
I cry but my steps have already arrived above it.
At this point, the feeling of putting it on has reached the maximum, I can instinctively tell for some reason.
"That's right all I have to is leave it to this feeling, yes, leave everything to my body."
Even my thought process has conformed to this brainwashing.
I feel a revolting sense of loss, as my body and mind become lost in a feeling that I wish would pass as soon as possible.
As I put it on, the suit vibrates and glows as if alive, with it the feeling that forced me to commit this self-betrayal gradually reduces or is being sucked out by something.
Everything is siphoned, and I feel as if a new life has been bestowed to me.
"Ha! Yes! Thank you corpse! for doing whatever you did, if you wanted me inside you, you could've just asked, why go through such a sadistic play, my dignity and right to freedom felt threatened!"
I feel so refreshed I start spouting nonsense and run and jump around, to affirm my freedom.
"Though it still feels gross, it's better than that feeling of sinking inevitability.
In fact it even feels like wearing an uncomfortably tight school s- Huh? Isn't this just a full body suit?! I take it back, my dignity, please return it!"
I try to take it off, it comes off surprisingly easily but I immediately feel the chill spreading through my body again.
As I run for my clothes, I feel a resistance or barrier, blocking me.
No, not a barrier, it's as if I am performing as a mime, and can't break through this invisible wall.
I know that there is no solid wall blocking me, it's more like my body is resisting my mind, or is it the other way around? I can't tell
I try going back and forth, but it's no use, even if I create some distance and try to jump out, I find myself stopping midway.
I can not willingly leave this boundary.
Helplessly I put it on and take it off again for another try!
Resisting the urge to put it on, I try again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
"Hah hah hah..."
I lay on the ground, my back feels drenched, the blurred sun gives me ample light, like offering a tiny ray of hope even amidst this situation.
"I am not done yet... ha ha.."
Though the thought of giving up has come to my mind quite a few times, I don't want to.
Looking back I never gave up even once throughout my first 18 years.
I was always looking forward to something new.
Before the war, I was looking forward to living the campus life in that top tier college.
The cruise trip last summer, I had planned to go with my friends but I couldn't because my family planned a trip to the country where my college to be was.at.
They said that they would also look around the place with me, which would help me get familiar with the environment, and not get confused.
But in just a single day, everything changed. My family, my dreams and even my self-confidence took a hit.
After I was left alone to live in a foreign country, I faced a lot of challenges, there were a lot of busy days trying to find a place in such a time.
I found out that I couldn't keep up with the rapid changes around me not to mention the entire world.
Communications with my contacts got limited with the beginning of
IceAge.
Unfortunately, none of my international friends lived or were present in Astria.
The country where I was supposed to live in and study for the next 4 years, became a place where I wouldn't leave for the next 7 years.
"Since then till now am I not just living without any thought, isn't that the same even now, constantly giving in to this corpse suit?"
In truth I had started gradually giving up, my wishes, my dreams, my freedom, even my future.
I look at that corpse suit and feel a burning hate towards it or maybe whats beyond it or both.
The place where I lived powerlessly without any drive, the complete opposite of my ideal future I dreamt of.
The ever-changing situations that couldn't possibly be kept up with, as if saying 'Give up on your future'
And the corpse who effortlessly brought me away from that grim reality. Once again, it was beyond my control.
"Hahahaha...
WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO GIVE IN TO SOME RANDOM ASS EVENT?!"
I stand up and shout out
"WHY Must I Swallow My Voice And Give Up On MY Dreams In The Face Of An Absurd Situation?!"
I hate the World for going to ruin, involving me and my family and countless others.
I hate the corpse for taking away my freedom, forcing me to do it's bidding.
I hate the future that is fucking unpredictable.
I hate the future, that makes me feel so small and insignificant.
I hate the future where I have failed.
I hate the future. That is why I can never allow it to decide for me.
"I will get my way, living or dead, One Person or the Entire World, they must acknowledge me and face me before they have their way!"
With a renewed mind, I dived back in, to one day, resist the suit's prophecy once and for all.