The conference hall looked like someone had tried to hold a TED Talk inside a gladiator arena.
Rows of chairs filled with shopkeepers, dungeons hovering above like smug clouds, and on stage? A massive podium with way too many glowing runes on it. (Why did a podium need fire effects? Who knows. Probably Vellario's idea.)
I sat in the back row, clutching a cup of coffee like it was holy water.
Mirae stood beside me, arms crossed, glaring at everyone. Spicy sat on my lap, munching on a bread roll he had definitely stolen. The goblins were stuffed into one row, holding oversized "COUPONS RULE" signs they'd made overnight.
Vellario strutted on stage, rhinestones blinding half the room.
"Welcome, honored shopkeepers and Hanseok! Today, we share secrets of success, forge alliances..." his mustache wiggled dramatically "and crush those who stand in our way!"
Polite applause.
Selena leaned over to me, whispering with a smile too sharp:
"He means you."
Great.
Fantastic.
Totally encouraging.
A waiter slid a stack of pamphlets onto my table.
"Complimentary Conference Materials" it read.
I opened it, only to see a rune flare up on the page. Mirae immediately slapped it shut, tossed it across the aisle and it exploded in green smoke.
"Poison ink" she muttered.
Selena, across the row, smirked knowingly.
I glared. "Do they not have HR for this kind of thing?"
Dungeon popped into existence behind me. "This is HR."
Next came the refreshments. Trays of drinks floated around the hall, offered by polite-looking elementals.
One stopped at my table. Mirae sniffed the cup and shook her head.
"Laced."
Before I could protest, Spicy leapt up, grabbed the cup, and downed it in one gulp.
"SPICY STRONG!" he roared, immediately bursting into flames like a firecracker.
The entire front row ducked as he zoomed across the hall like a flaming bottle rocket, crashing into Boris's lap.
"GET OFF ME, RAT!" Boris roared, trying to swat Spicy while also not catching on fire.
The goblins chanted: "Spicy! Spicy! Spicy!"
I buried my face in my hands.
During one of the speeches (something boring about "interdimensional marketing strategies"), a cloaked shopkeeper slid closer to me, slipping a dagger from their sleeve.
Before I could react, one of the goblins popped up with a megaphone.
"EXCUSE ME, BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!"
Everyone jumped as the goblin screamed directly into the mic. The cloaked shopkeeper, startled, dropped the dagger and bolted.
Security dungeons swarmed, dragging him out. The goblin bowed, smug.
"You're welcome, Boss."
"Why do you even have a megaphone?!" I hissed.
The goblin grinned. "Coupons."
After the chaos, the "networking session" began. Which basically meant everyone could insult each other in polite voices.
Boris swaggered over, glaring down at me.
"Oi, convenience boy. Careful. This ain't your neighborhood bodega. You're in the big leagues now."
Selena followed, swirling her drink.
"Your shop may thrive, but remember: every antidote has a limit."
Vellario joined last, smiling wide.
"Enjoy the spotlight while you can, my boy. Dungeons... they don't stay loyal forever."
My stomach dropped.
Dungeon materialized behind me, crossing his arms.
"Don't listen to them. They're just bitter."
Still, his voice wavered.
And that scared me more than anything.
The tension broke when the goblins suddenly stormed the stage, dragging a giant banner that read:
"VOTE FOR HANSEOK – BEST SHOPKEEPER 2025."
"THERE WASN'T EVEN A VOTE" I yelled, standing up.
Too late. The goblins had already grabbed the mic, chanting slogans.
The crowd roared in confusion, half laughing, half booing. Spicy joined the chant, setting fire to part of the banner. Mirae sighed like she'd aged ten years in one minute.
And me? I just sat back down, head in my hands, realizing I was either going to end up very famous or very murdered.
As the conference wrapped up, a shadowed shopkeeper brushed past me, whispering:
"Careful, Hanseok. This isn't a game. Your store isn't just a store and the longer you play, the more dangerous it gets."
Then they vanished into the crowd.
I sat frozen, coffee shaking in my hand. Mirae leaned down, whispering:
"...We need to go home. Now."
Dungeon appeared, his smile strained.
"Yes. Before things get... less polite."