[Li Hao's dream]
"Hao Hao, my little lion."
Li Hao looked up. Standing in front of him, bathed in that warm, was his mother. Her face was kind, her eyes full of the love he always remembered. She was wearing a simple, light dress, and her hands, so gentle, reached out.
"Mama?" he whispered, his child's voice cracking slightly. It had been so long since he'd heard her voice, seen her face so clearly.
She smiled, a smile that melted away all the coldness around him.
"There you are, my clever boy."
Suddenly, he wasn't just standing there. He was sitting on a low wooden stool, a small, worn storybook open on his lap.
He frowned at it, his child-self frustrated.
"I can't read this word, Mama! It's too big!"
His mother knelt beside him, her soft hand gently covering his. Her scent filled his senses – safe, comforting.
"Let me see, my love." She pointed a delicate finger at the word.
"It's 'adventure'. Try it with me. Ad-ven-ture."
He tried, stumbling over the syllables.
"Ad-ven-ture?"
"That's right!" Her smile was wide, proud. "You see? You can do anything you set your mind to. Just take it one step at a time."
In the dream, adult Li Hao's eyes were wet, even as his child-self was still happily mumbling the word "adventure." He reached out, not as a child, but as the man he was now, wanting to touch her, to feel her warmth.
"Mama," he managed to say, his voice thick with a pain he never showed anyone.
"It's... it's so hard now. The world is so loud. So cruel. I miss your quiet."
His mother turned, her gaze fixing on the adult Li Hao, as if she could see both versions of him at once. Her hand, so gentle, reached up and brushed a tear from his cheek – a tear he didn't even know he was crying.
"My little lion," she said, her voice full of a gentle sorrow,
"the world can be loud, yes. But you carry my quiet within you. The strength I taught you, the kindness I showed you. Don't forget that, bao bei. Don't let the noise make you forget the adventure."
"Remember that big word? 'Adventure'? Life is an adventure, Hao Hao. Sometimes hard, sometimes beautiful. But you are always strong. And you are always loved."
Her hand still rested on his cheek, a warmth spreading through him that felt like a forgotten sunrise. He leaned into her touch, a whimper escaping his lips, something his adult self would never allow.
"I miss you, Mama," he choked out.
"Every day."
Her smile was like sunshine. "And I am always with you, Li Hao. In your heart. In every quiet moment."
The light around her began to grow brighter, almost too bright. Her form started to shimmer, like a picture in water.
"No!" Li Hao cried, reaching out desperately. "Don't go!"
But she just smiled one last time, a gentle, comforting smile. "Be well, Hao Hao."
Tears, hot and silent, slipped from the corners of Li Hao's eyes.
In his dream, his mother was drifting away, a ghost of a smile on her face, her hand just out of his reach. He struggled, reaching out, trying to grab onto her, but his fingers met only air.
"Mama," he cried out, a guttural sound torn from his throat, "don't leave me here alone! Mama!"
His desperate cries cut through the morning silence, jarring Yu Han awake. Yu Han, who had been sleeping soundly beside Li Hao, shot his eyes open.
It was a struggle to fully wake up; the heavy fog of a powerful hangover still clung to him, a lingering reminder of the many glasses of beer from last night.
Through half-lidded eyes, he saw the soft, golden light of the sun pouring into Li Hao's large, luxurious room. His eyes snapped open completely, pupils wide with surprise. "What?! Where am I?"
He turned his head slowly, the movement sending a throb through his temples, and his gaze landed on Li Hao.
"What the hell! What am I doing in Li Hao's bed? What happened last night?" His mind raced, struggling to piece together fragments of memory.
He then noticed his own state. "Why is he sleeping naked? And... and where are my clothes?"
Yu Han had been wearing a bathrobe last night, but in his drunken heat, this bastard instinctively tossed it off the bed during the night.
His eyes scanned the room, taking everything in. Then, they landed on the bedside table. A cold knot formed in his stomach.
"What the hell..." There, sitting plainly, were a condom wrapper and a tube of lube. "Condom and lube... what happened last night?"
Shock and confusion washed over Yu Han, then a sudden, horrifying memory flashed.
Before he'd gotten completely drunk, he remembered shouting, angry words at Li Hao. "Fuck you, Li Hao... Come to me... I'll fuck you."
He clapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes wide with horror. He glanced at Li Hao again, seeing the wet streaks on his cheeks, the silent tears still falling from his sleeping face. Li Hao was naked, vulnerable.
"Did... did I really fuck him? No, it's not possible... I can't do something like that..." But the evidence begged to differ.
A fresh wave of guilt hit him.
"He's crying?"
Instinctively, Yu Han reached out, his hand trembling slightly. With a gentle thumb, he wiped the tear from Li Hao's cheek.
The sudden, soft touch made Li Hao's eyes snap open. His vision was blurry with sleep and tears, but the warmth and familiarity of the touch were unmistakable.
It was Yu Han.
Seeing Yu Han, a deep need to simply lose himself in his embrace surged through Li Hao. He didn't hesitate. He lunged forward, throwing himself into Yu Han's arms.
Yu Han was completely bewildered by the sudden movement. Li Hao held him tightly, burying his face into the crook of Yu Han's neck and shoulder.
Yu Han could feel Li Hao's hot tears on his bare chest, the uneven rhythm of his breathing, the frantic beat of his heart against his own.
Seeing Li Hao so utterly vulnerable, so broken, made Yu Han forget everything else – his hangover, his confusion, his own shock.
All he wanted was to offer comfort, to give everything he had to Li Hao in that moment. He began to stroke Li Hao's back, gently caressing his hair.
"Don't go..." Li Hao sobbed, his voice muffled against Yu Han's skin. "Don't go... don't leave me alone."
Yu Han immediately tightened his embrace. "I'm not going anywhere, Li Hao," he whispered, his voice soft with reassurance. "I'm here... don't cry."
They stayed like that for a few minutes, clinging to each other, until Yu Han finally broke the silence.
"I'm really sorry, Li Hao... I was so drunk last night... I didn't know what I was doing. I was just cursing you... I can't believe how I could... could fuck you. Are you in pain, Li Hao?"
At those last words, Li Hao slowly came back to his senses. He lifted his head, pulling slightly away from Yu Han, his brow furrowed in confusion.
"Huh? What? What are you saying?"
"I'm asking you," Yu Han repeated, his voice full of genuine concern, "are you feeling pain down there?"
"Why would I feel pain down there? Huh?!" Li Hao asked, genuinely puzzled.
Yu Han sighed, shaking his head.
"You don't feel any pain? Right... you are so strong, Li Hao. I fucked you and you don't feel any pain... that's great."
Li Hao stared at him for a moment, the words slowly sinking in. His eyes widened slightly, then a small smirk played on his lips. "Wait a minute, what did you just say... you fucked me?"
"Hmm..." Yu Han mumbled, avoiding his gaze, still convinced of his guilt.
Li Hao chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that belied the seriousness of the situation.
"I should have fucked you harder last night so you didn't have this much energy to ask me this right now. I'm regretting not fucking you."
Before Yu Han could react, Li Hao suddenly pinned him down, pushing his body beneath him.
"You are damn lucky, Yu Han," Li Hao whispered, his voice deep and teasing. "You're the only one who has ever just slept in my bed. Usually, I keep everyone awake till dawn, screwing them hard until they forget their own names and only remember mine."
Yu Han struggled beneath him, his face flushing. "What are you doing, leave me! I know I messed up, you were crying in pain!"
Li Hao let out a soft sigh, then pushed himself up, releasing Yu Han. He sat beside him, leaning his head back against the headboard, his eyes now distant.
Yu Han watched him carefully, the playful tension suddenly gone, replaced by a quiet somberness.
"I had a dream of my mother," Li Hao finally spoke, almost a whisper.
"Your mother?" Yu Han asked gently.
"Hmm... Mama. She was smiling and stroking my back and hair." Li Hao's voice trembled slightly.
Yu Han understood Li Hao's feelings better than anyone. He, too, had lost his parents in childhood and knew the ache of those memories.
He pushed himself up, leaning against the headboard next to Li Hao, glancing at his gloomy face.
"Sometimes you don't have to act strong, Li Hao," Yu Han said, his voice quiet but firm.
"It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to cry. It's okay to let it all out. We're human, we're allowed to show our emotions."
Li Hao turned his head, his eyes meeting Yu Han's. "You're the only one," he said, a hint of something soft in his gaze, "who treats me like a person, not just a powerful, strong man like everyone else."
They sat there in shared silence, a comfortable quiet settling between them, until a sweet, clear voice suddenly reached their ears.
It was Yuna, calling from the living room.
"Li Hao... Li Hao... where are you?"