Li Hao slammed his foot on the accelerator, the engine roaring in protest as he sped away from Wang, leaving him a distant, bewildered figure in the rearview mirror.
His knuckles were white on the steering wheel, his jaw clenched so tight it ached.
"YES...I FUCKING LIKE HIM," he growled, the words tearing from his throat, raw and unfiltered.
"WHAT'S WRONG IN LIKING A...A BOY?" He pounded the horn, a furious, frustrated blare that echoed the chaos in his head.
Where was he even driving? His car swerved aimlessly through the night, a desperate escape from feelings he couldn't outrun.
_____________
[At the Apartment]
The air in the alley behind Yu Han's apartment complex was thick with the scent of gunpowder and the joyous shouts of children.
Yu Han, Yang Zi, and Yang Zi's young nephew, Tian, were a flurry of excited energy, celebrating Chinese New Year.
Tian shrieked with delight as a tiny firecracker fizzed and popped, showering golden sparks. Yu Han, his face illuminated by the dancing light, was laughing, his head tilted back, a small sparkler held aloft like a magic wand.
He was chasing after Tian, his movements light and carefree, a stark contrast to the heavy burden Li Hao carried. His laughter, bright and clear, carried on the crisp night air, momentarily piercing the fog of Li Hao's torment.
Li Hao's car screeched to a halt a little way down the alley, hidden mostly by the shadows. He killed the engine, the sudden silence inside the vehicle deafening after his earlier rage.
Stepping out, he leaned against the cool metal of his car, his gaze drawn irrevocably towards the warmth and light.
He saw Yu Han, vibrant and uninhibited, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he dissolved into peals of laughter, his hands waving animatedly as he playfully 'chased' Tian with a spent sparkler stick. He was alive, truly alive, in that moment.
Watching him, Li Hao felt the volcanic anger within him slowly, inexplicably, recede, replaced by a quiet awe. A small, tender smile, almost foreign to his typically stern features, ghosted across his lips.
He just stood there, a solitary figure in the shadows, watching them, quietly lighting a cigarette, the ember glowing like a lonely star.
"Uncle Zi, I need to go toilet!" Tian suddenly announced, hopping on one foot.
Yang Zi chuckled, ruffling the boy's hair. "Alright, little man, let's get you inside." He took Tian's hand, leading him back towards the building, leaving Yu Han alone in the fading light of the last few firecrackers.
Yu Han, still humming with the afterglow of their play, turned, his eyes drifting towards the darker, quieter end of the alley.
A familiar silhouette, tall and imposing, stood there. Just then, a particularly bright firecracker burst high in the sky, showering the alley with a brilliant, momentary flash of light. In that brief, ethereal glow, Yu Han saw him clearly – Li Hao.
His cheerful expression immediately dissolved into confusion. Li Hao? Here? At this hour? Yu Han looked around, as if searching for a hidden camera, then, his brow furrowed, he paced towards Li Hao, his footsteps deliberate.
"What are you doing here at this time?" he asked, his voice low and serious, tinged with suspicion.
Li Hao took a slow drag from his cigarette, his eyes never leaving Yu Han's. "Just wanted to see you," he replied, his voice a low rumble.
Yu Han scoffed, a disbelieving sound. "Why would you want to see me? Huh!" he challenged, crossing his arms over his chest.
Li Hao crushed his cigarette under his boot, exhaling a plume of smoke into the cool night air. His gaze intensified, unwavering.
"I like you, Yu Han."
The directness of the confession hit Yu Han like a physical blow. He went utterly silent, his disbelief warring with a sudden, unsettling realization. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.
"Yu Han! Are you coming?" Yang Zi's voice echoed from the apartment doorway, cutting sharply through the charged silence.
Panic flared in Yu Han's eyes. Without a moment's hesitation, he grabbed Li Hao's wrist, his fingers surprisingly strong, and tugged him violently.
"Quick! Hide!" he hissed, pulling Li Hao behind the nearest parked car. Li Hao, utterly blindsided by the sudden shift, stumbled, a surprised gasp catching in his throat.
Yu Han pressed a finger to Li Hao's lips, silencing any protest, his own breath coming in shallow gasps as he carefully peeked over the car's hood, checking if Yang Zi was looking.
Li Hao, hidden in the cramped space, found himself pressed against Yu Han, his chest tight with a mixture of shock and exhilaration.
He watched Yu Han's face, illuminated by the scant streetlights filtering through the car windows – his wide, nervous eyes, the slight flush on his cheeks, the way his lips were pursed in concentration. He looked scared, yes, but undeniably adorable.
Impulsively, irresistibly, Li Hao reached out, his hand cupping Yu Han's jaw, thumb stroking his soft skin.
Before Yu Han could react, Li Hao leaned in and landed a soft, almost reverent kiss on his lips. Yu Han froze, his eyes wide as saucers, utterly stunned.
The unexpectedness of it, coupled with the imminent threat of Yang Zi discovering them, rendered him speechless. He simply bore the kiss, a statue of surprise.
Li Hao took advantage of the stillness, his initial gentleness giving way to a more desperate need.
He deepened the kiss, his mouth moving over Yu Han's with increasing passion, his free hand moving to cup the back of Yu Han's head, drawing him closer.
Yu Han gasped into the kiss, a soft moan escaping him as Li Hao devoured his lips with a raw intensity that stole his breath.
He tried to push Li Hao away, his hands pressing against the man's chest, but Li Hao was unyielding, his hold firm, his kiss relentless. Yu Han's struggling only seemed to fuel Li Hao's urgency. He was left breathless, panting, the soft sounds escaping him during the suffocating kiss a desperate plea for air.
Li Hao pulled back just enough to gaze into Yu Han's dazed, half-closed eyes, his own burning with an unspoken emotion, before diving back in, one last, lingering press of his lips.
Finally, Li Hao broke the kiss. Yu Han immediately gasped, sucking in great gulps of air, his chest heaving. His lips were swollen, his eyes still wide and unfocused.
Without a word, Li Hao pulled Yu Han into a tight embrace, closing every inch of distance between them. His arms wrapped fiercely around Yu Han's waist, his head resting on Yu Han's shoulder, his voice a husky whisper against his ear.
"Please," he pleaded, his voice ragged, "please spend some time with me... I need you beside me... I am alone, Yu Han."
The raw vulnerability in Li Hao's voice, coming from such a typically strong, impenetrable man, shattered Yu Han's remaining defenses.
The anger, the confusion, the shock – it all melted away. He felt a profound pang of empathy. Slowly, tentatively, Yu Han's hands rose, stroking Li Hao's back in a comforting gesture, a silent acknowledgment of the pain behind the man's desperate words.
After a long moment, Yu Han gently disentangled himself, but his fingers remained intertwined with Li Hao's wrist. He looked up at Li Hao, his expression softer now, less bewildered.
"Come with me."
Taking a deep breath, he began to walk, pulling Li Hao along with him, away from the shadows, towards an unknown, uncertain path.