Chapter 35 — Headaches for Gods
The strange, endless mental space stretched around them. Jiraiya still hadn't found words after hearing Naruto and Sasuke declare themselves the Sage of Six Paths' sons.
Finally, Naruto broke the silence with a laugh. "Man, you should've seen it, Pervy Sage. Me and Sasuke must've given old man Hagoromo and Uncle Hamura the biggest headaches back then."
Jiraiya blinked. "…Headaches? You're telling me the Sage of Six Paths, the guy who basically built the shinobi world, got headaches from you two?"
Sasuke smirked faintly. "Naruto's not exaggerating. We argued with him constantly. He'd try to talk about destiny and balance, and Naruto would interrupt every five seconds."
Naruto puffed out his chest. "Hey! Don't act like you didn't argue too. Remember the time you told Hagoromo his idea of peace was 'half-baked philosophy from a lonely old man'?"
Sasuke looked away, muttering, "…It was half-baked."
Jiraiya rubbed his temple, muttering, "I'm getting the same headache just listening to you two…"
Then another name caught his ear. "…Wait. Back up. Did you just say Hamura? As in another one of these Otsutsuki freaks?"
Naruto grinned. "Yup. Hagoromo's little brother. That makes him our uncle."
Jiraiya's jaw slackened. "…Uncle. The Sage of Six Paths' brother?"
Sasuke added matter-of-factly, "He was the ancestor of the Hyūga clan. The Byakugan came from him."
Jiraiya's eyes nearly popped out. "Hold on—so the Hyūga clan's eyes come straight from some godlike alien uncle of yours?!"
Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Heh… guess that makes Hinata-chan like… really, really distant family, huh?"
Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "Don't even start down that road."
Jiraiya let out a disbelieving laugh. "This is insane. You're telling me not only are you reincarnated sons of a myth, but you've got an uncle who fathered one of the most powerful clans in the Leaf. What's next, you two had family picnics with them?"
Naruto lit up. "Actually, yeah! Hagoromo used to tell these super boring stories while Uncle Hamura would cook fish. Except half the time, Hamura burned it to a crisp. We'd complain, and Hagoromo would scold us for being 'ungrateful.'"
Sasuke's lips curved slightly despite himself. "You nearly set his robes on fire once trying to grill your own."
Naruto waved his hands defensively. "Hey, that wasn't my fault! The flames were too big."
Jiraiya stared at them, torn between disbelief and amusement. "…So the legends I grew up hearing, the sacred Sage who gave ninjutsu to mankind—you're telling me behind the scenes, he was just some tired old man trying to babysit two brats while his brother ruined dinner?"
Naruto gave a wide grin. "Pretty much!"
Jiraiya dragged his hand down his face, muttering, "Unbelievable. Just… unbelievable. The world worships him as a god, and you're out here talking about him like some cranky grandpa with indigestion."
Sasuke's tone softened, though his smirk remained. "That's because we saw the man. Not the myth."
For the first time, Jiraiya felt something shift in his chest. A strange mix of awe and warmth—because maybe, just maybe, these boys weren't lying.
Maybe they really had lived it all before.
Jiraiya sighed heavily, dragging his hand across his face. "I don't know if I should laugh… or start drinking."
Naruto tilted his head. "Why not both?"
"Brat," Jiraiya muttered, though there was no real bite in his voice.
Sasuke gave his usual cool shrug. "You wanted the truth. Now you have it."
For a long moment, Jiraiya just looked at them. These two idiots—arguing, teasing, talking about gods like they were cranky old relatives. And yet… there was something unshakably real in their eyes.
Finally, he exhaled and shook his head. "You know what? Forget it. I'm not gonna try to make sense of everything right now. If half of what you've told me is true, then I guess all I can do is… keep moving forward with you."
Naruto grinned ear to ear. "Heh, that's all we ask, Pervy Sage."
The mental space rippled, fading as reality pulled them back.
When Jiraiya opened his eyes, he was staring at the campfire crackling before him. The boys sat on the other side, bickering about who had to fetch more firewood.
He leaned back, staring up at the night sky, muttering to himself, "Sons of the Sage of Six Paths, uncles, reincarnations, headaches for gods… tch. I really picked up the craziest students in history."
But despite the confusion still swirling in his chest, a small smile tugged at his lips.
Because somehow, even in the middle of these impossible revelations… he trusted them.