"Holy crap, it's Wendy from GGZ."
Mo Wang looked at the elegantly dressed, super-powered girl floating before him and felt a migraine coming on. He wanted to change the plot, sure. But not like this.
Who the hell wrote this script? Where did this put him? Was this even Honkai Impact 3rd anymore?
He couldn't wrap his head around it. Was the Wendy from Honkai Impact 3rd, the one who was a complete disgrace, and the Wendy from GGZ, the one who was basically a Mary Sue, even the same species?
You can't just say that because they're both named Wendy, they're the same person, right? If that's the logic, then why not throw the lazy bard Wendy (Venti) from Genshin Impact into the mix? Let's have a full-on Wendy-verse!
He knew the GGZ Wendy. She was called "the freest woman in the entire Honkai universe" by players because, despite her immense power, she had zero interest in destroying humanity. Her strength was so overwhelming that she earned titles like "Heavenly Emperor Wendy" and "Mary Sue Wendy."
And the Wendy from Honkai Impact 3rd? She was beaten black and blue by three B-rank Valkyries with cheat-like abilities, and then taken down by a Titan.
Sure, those three were B-ranks in name only—in reality, they were all walking plot devices with skills comparable to super A-rank combatants.
But it's undeniable that she's still called the most disgraceful Herrscher in the Honkai universe. (Fun fact: because her presence is so low, and her bob cut and highlights are strangely similar to Seele's, the face-blind Honkai players in the English-speaking community call Wendy "Green Seele.")
Of course, it wasn't like there were no similarities between the three miHoYo Wendys.
The true Herrscher of Wind (GGZ): Kicked Schicksal's ass, punched the Human Federation, released a Death Plague to purify the world, and was a hero among the Herrschers. (But she's dead, and her friend was almost dead once.)
The ordinary Anemo Archon (Genshin): Liberated Mondstadt from a tyrant, spread freedom across Teyvat, and was a hero among the gods. (But his friend is dead.)
The fake Herrscher of Wind (HI3): Got beaten up by 3 B-ranks and suppressed by a Titan, had her core taken out and used as a battery, and was the toilet among the Herrschers. (But she's dead.)
So... it's actually quite dangerous to be associated with wind in the miHoYo universe. Either you die, or you have to sacrifice someone else. One way or another, someone's gotta go.
"Heh, the Captain seems very surprised to see me like this?" Wendy said, her voice laced with a playful, teasing tone that didn't match the apocalyptic storm around them.
"That's for sure. I'm about to be scared to death," Mo Wang admitted without hesitation. To be honest, his brain was already calculating how big of a cheat code he'd have to use to beat this Mary Sue version of Wendy. Hopefully, she was just for show. Otherwise, he could only pity the planet. The Honkai might not even get a chance to destroy humanity before he did it by accident.
"Hehehe, Captain, are you surprised that I've become more beautiful? Or are you surprised that I've become a Herrscher?" she continued, a smug smile on her face.
"Um, can I be honest?" Mo Wang asked, awkwardly averting his gaze.
"Of course."
"Actually, I'm just surprised... that your skirt has flipped up. Your panties are showing."
From his angle on the ground, he had a perfect view of a pair of small, white panties. Really, who flies that high while wearing a skirt? Isn't that just asking for trouble?
"Captain, you're still so good at joking, even at a time like this," Wendy said, her smile not faltering. "But if it's the Captain, I don't mind letting you take a few more looks~"
However, as she spoke, she subtly used a gust of wind to press her skirt down a little.
"So, since you're embarrassed, just don't say things like that. It really doesn't suit your new 'goddess' persona," Mo Wang deadpanned, watching her action.
He finally understood. This wasn't some Heavenly Emperor Wendy from GGZ. This was just his Wendy, but her brain had been completely scrambled by the Honkai. The original Wendy became a bit manic and aggressive after becoming a Herrscher. Why did this one now have the personality of a lewd older sister from a bad anime?
No, Honkai, what the hell did you do to the plot? Did someone feed you a bunch of eight o'clock soap operas?
(A certain pink-haired elf from a past era sneezes: Don't look at Elysia, Elysia doesn't know~)
"Alright, Wendy, haven't you had enough fun?" Mo Wang said, taking a step forward. "It's getting late. While no one's been seriously hurt yet, let's just go home. I've been busy since last night, and I really want to sleep."
But for some reason, Wendy, who had been relatively easy to talk to, suddenly turned sullen. Her playful expression vanished, replaced by a cold glare.
"Captain... are you here to kill me?" she asked, her eyes fixed on the remnants of the golden cross behind him.
"Huh? Kill you? Why would I want to kill you?" Mo Wang was genuinely confused. Was there a rule that all Herrschers must be killed? Oh, right, there was, but wasn't that rule book already thrown into the Mariana Trench by Theresa?
"As expected... you're still lying to me," Wendy's voice dropped, and her expression twisted with rage. "You're all lying to me! Everything is fake! I hate you!"
She suddenly attacked. A terrifying gust of wind, compressed into a drill-like projectile, shot towards Mo Wang.
"Holy crap!" He quickly rolled to the side, dodging just in time. The wind-drill slammed into the ground where he had been standing, creating a massive crater more than ten meters wide and just as deep.
"Young lady, I think it's not a matter of me wanting to kill you, but you wanting to kill me, right?" Mo Wang said, breaking out in a cold sweat.
Wendy ignored him, continuing her assault. Several razor-sharp blades of wind materialized around her and shot towards him at incredible speed.
"Although I don't know what you saw or heard," Mo Wang said, his own patience finally wearing thin, "but since you're playing for keeps, if I don't get serious, you'll think I'm a pushover, won't you!"
A familiar baseball bat appeared in his hand. With a powerful, reinforced swing, he shattered the incoming wind blades.
After deflecting the attack, he planted the bat in the ground. Several huge, golden crosses materialized around him, shining with holy light.
"Be careful, Wendy," he warned, his voice now serious. "If I catch you, it won't be as simple as a spanking."
As his voice fell, the projected crosses unleashed a flood of golden chains, all surging towards Wendy.
Faced with the onslaught, a familiar, manic smile spread across Wendy's face. For a moment, it gave him the illusion that the original, unhinged Wendy from Honkai Impact 3rd was back online.