Chapter 59
Only a few know of Aelunira's existence. When my parents first learned that I was with child, they neither grew angry nor demanded to know the father, but asked only if I had been forced, to which I answered that I had not. They left the matter there.
I did not need to conceal Aelunira from the world, yet I know with certainty that should word spread, Yseldra would appear at my very doorstep.
I had sent Aelunira here with Lyda early, for I could not endure so long a carriage ride with her.
"Oh right, My Lady," Lyda said, tending to Aelunira's hair as the child sat on the sofa opposite me with a careful smile.
"Be at ease, Aelunira," I said, striving for softness, but my voice fell rather plain. Yet it seemed to suffice, for her smile opened into something true, and the small dimple upon her left cheek appeared.
We were currently within the drawing room, and I occupied myself with the morning's paper like I have been in the years past. I must remain informed and shall not permit myself the folly of ignorance again.
"Rose and I was wonderin' if you got any food you can't take?" Lyda asked. "So we don't make it no more."
Rose is the housemaid and cook I have employed, near my own age, yet possessed of a skill in the kitchen far beyond anything I could hope to attain.
"Seafood," I replied. "If you favor it, you may purchase it, only do not serve it to me."
"Alright," she said, rising. "I'll let Rose know. She was thinkin' of makin' shrimp for your lunch."
"Very well."
Lyda took a step, then hesitated, her gaze lingering upon Aelunira.
"Take her with you," I said.
Aelunira's bright smile faltered and returned to that careful one she always wears before me.
"Yes, My Lady."
Left alone, I returned to the paper, and as I turned the page, my breath stilled upon a single article.
'Queen of Dunverra, Her Majesty Yseldra Valebrinth has officially selected her chosen treasure for the royal gallery. The item is a journal entry.'
Eight entries were listed, and I knew them at once, for they were mine.
"Haa…" I exhaled, setting the paper upon the low table. This was the final page I had written in those restless nights within the palace.
Her voice from years past echoed in my head.
"Your tale need not be of a carnal nature. I would read anything your hand puts to page. And that shall be my chosen treasure for the royal gallery."
Why could she not be as Nerissea, and keep her silence?
I took my leave of the room. Perhaps I ought to walk and let the chill breeze wash over me.
As I was about to turn the corner, a broken sniffle stayed my steps.
"Don't cry, My Lady," Lyda said with gentle care. "I am here."
"Mother does not like me," came Aelunira's small voice. She was weeping.
"That ain't true," Lyda coaxed. "She loves you. I know it."
"I heard the maids at Grandfather's house," Aelunira said. "They said… they said mother did not look at me when I was born."
I leaned my back against the wall silently. At that time, the crushing guilt of bringing her into this world bore heavily upon my chest. Though it has lessened with time, Aelunira and I had already drifted too far apart, and I found within myself no will to mend what had been broken.
I recall that day still. It was bright with sun, and yet within my chamber all was chaos. Maids hurried in and out without cease, bearing water and linens stained through with blood. My body trembled beneath unrelenting pain as I forced Aelunira into this world.
"It is a girl," the wet nurse declared with bright delight. "Look at her red hair. Oh heavens, her eyes shine as though they were little suns."
My heart was struck violently and I clasped my trembling hands together. Of all things, why must my child bear her traits. Why must she resemble Yseldra. Was her very existence not already a reminder of my past? Why must she wear that reflection upon her face as well.
The nurse wrapped the babe in white cloth and brought her toward me. I turned my face away at once.
"Take her out. Now."
The room fell into silence.
After a moment, a gentle hand closed over mines.
"Sweetling," my mother said softly, "it matters not who her father may be. We shall give her unconditional love. I swear it to you."
The babe began to cry and I immediately pressed my palms against my ears, desperate to shut it out.
"Take it out!" I screamed.
The rumors must have begun there. The staff could not understand why I acted so, nor shall they ever.
And then there were those days in which I sat in silence, my gaze fixed upon the distant world beyond the window, whilst Aelunira fed from my breast. When she had finished, I would place her back into the arms of the wet nurse and depart the nursery without a word. Such was my routine for many months, until that duty was no longer required of me. Thereafter, I scarcely saw her.
"That was then," Lyda said, drawing me into the present. "But look at you now. Didn't your mother get you all them tutors, teach you proper and all? That's love, ain't it?"
I did hire them for Aelunira. But was it love, or merely the wish that she should not become a foolish and unknowing girl as I once was?
"She does not hold my hand," Aelunira said. "Lyda… I want my mother to hug me. I have been a good girl, have I not?"
"You've been a very good girl," Lyda replied warmly. "Oh, I know. How about you paint her a picture? I'm sure she'll love it."
"Really?"
A picture.
I turned away and resumed my steps down the hall. There, I encountered Neal.
"My Lady, you have been summoned to the Vaneeri estate," he said. "Her Grace's aide awaits you outside."
"Summoned?"
"That is correct."
Why would Her Grace call for me? When I have no place in her affairs?
I departed the drawing room and descended the staircase, where I met a man outside. He stood before a lavish carriage adorned with the Vaneeri crest, a man perhaps in his thirties. Others might deem him handsome, yet such thoughts did not stir within me, for he was, like all else, merely a person.
"A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady Naevia," he said, inclining his head. "I am Issac Beltmore, personal aide to Her Grace, Millicent Vaneeri. Her Grace would have a word with you, if you may."
He opened the carriage door. "Please."
We arrived shortly, and I was led into a most opulent drawing room, the estate itself was vast, greater even than the palace of Dunverra. Millicent appeared not long after and seated herself opposite me with effortless elegance, while Issac remained at her side.
The rumors of her beauty were no falsehood. She surpassed even Nerissea in that regard, though she stood well into her thirties, she bore the semblance of youth. Her hair shared my own golden hue, but hers seemed favored by fortune itself. And those crimson eyes, so strikingly red, stirred within me a quiet unease, as though I gazed upon something not entirely of this world.
She lifted her teacup with composed grace. "Welcome to Ivoryspire, Lady Naevia," she said, her voice clear as crystal. "Have you settled well?"
"Yes, thank you, Your Grace."
We spoke for a time. I answered plainly while she wove her words in measured circles that left me confounded.
"Pray forgive me, Your Grace, but might you speak plainly as to why I have been summoned this day?"
"I was informed that you have registered a child under your house as a resident here."
"That is correct."
"You have recorded the father as deceased."
"That is correct."
"Golden eyes and red hair. It calls to mind a certain individual."
"Many possess such traits, Your Grace. I am certain you have seen as much."
"Lady Naevia, you are aware that your past association with Queen Yseldra is known throughout the world?"
"I would be most surprised if it were not."
"You have seen fit to introduce a royal child into the confines of my duchy without the Queen nor my knowledge or consent," she said with perfect calm, yet the air seemed to close in about me, as though the very walls drew nearer with each word. Those deep crimson eyes were fixed upon me with a dreadful precision.
A cold unease crept along my skin.
"Two women cannot bear a child, Your Grace," I managed.
"I find myself curious, did she ever confide that she once laid her flesh bare before me?"
Ah, that memory struck at once. Yseldra had indeed spoken of it. Once more, I was careless and overlooked such a detail.
"Ivoryspire and Dunverra have stood as allies for many years," she continued. "You need not speak for me to understand that Her Majesty is unaware of this child. Now, me. The matter in itself may be of little consequence and easily contained, yet we are not dealing with a common matter, but with a royal child. Word shall be sent to Queen Yseldra. Until Her Majesty's response is received, you and your child will remain within this estate. A carriage shall be dispatched to retrieve Her Royal Highness, Princess Aelunira."
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Aelunira and I have remained within the Vaneeri estate for two months. Winter has since come. In all that time, Aelunira and I have not once stepped beyond the guest chamber. We were allowed to roam the estate, but I did not feel like it.
"Mother," Aelunira's voice came from beside me.
I turned from the vast stretch of snow beyond the window and looked at her. She stood near my chair, timidly offering a painting.
"For you," she said, her expression hopeful.
I accepted it. The strokes were childish, yet it was meant to be me. The figure bore a bright and open smile I no longer possessed. I found myself unable to recognize the person she had imagined.
A knock sounded, and I set the painting aside before moving to the door.
Issac inclined his head. "The Queen of Dunverra has arrived. Her Majesty awaits you and Princess Aelunira in the drawing room."
Ah. So she has come in person, rather than sending word. Of course she would.
Just as I had begun to believe I might remain here and be forgotten, fate has seen fit to remind me that I am not permitted such peace.