Truth is simple, how could I miss the fact; that there are stars in the ocean, when it was right in front of me the whole time. How could I let the stars sink in the ocean; was I deluded? It's so simple that it drives me crazy. Contrary to what I thought before, my soul was not convoluted, I could honestly laugh so hard at it to the point I would be gasping for air, after realizing how clear it was. A truth so simple and stupid like this was overlooked?
Rella asked me a question that I wouldn't have been able to answer just a little earlier, "Have you realized what you lacked?"
I confidently said, "Hope." I grit my teeth, "I lacked hope from the start, I gave up way too easily. That's why I'm in this ocean, that's why these stars sank deep into the ocean. Winning against that vampire is like a fantasy, I could never see myself winning against her. I don't have the ambition nor do I have the ability and talent to do it, I never trained in my magic as it was utterly pointless; I'm not a hero nor a fighter nor did I have any interest in being either in the first place. Sure my bloodline may make my magic potent, but who cares? I could have the strongest genetics, or I could even have the strongest sword, axe, bow, or staff.. it wouldn't matter, even if I had all that I would still be weak and helpless. I could never beat her.. It's all just a pointless fantasy."
Rella marveled, "So, what you lack first is determination, hope, and then power? That's your true weakness, isn't it?" She remarked, "So what if it's a fantasy? You're not gonna try and turn into reality? How ironic for a person to be named Zenith, yet be the lowest of the lows." She sneered "You aren't just weak, you're weak. You act as if accepting your flaws is enough, without putting in the effort, you are nothing. Accept all you want, but without pushing on; a leap of faith, you will achieve nothing, nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing at all. Throwing yourself into a vortex of nothingness will achieve nothing."
Her words hurt but she's right, so damn right. To the point tears well up in my eyes and I feel a mix of frustration and relief, I'm not in a position to deny the truth of it all; The ugly reality where Zenith Alciel is weak. I hate being weak overall, I'm pathetic, I hate being in this ocean.
Rella, putting her hand up almost like she wants to hold mine, says "Then accept that weakness of yours, and deny its right to exist further. No longer will you be frail, no longer will you feel devastated each time like a worm dabbling in the dirt. You have shackled yourself not realizing your soul is your own key, fight, Zenith, not for anybody's sake but for yours. Embrace it all, let the lingering stars in your soul peak beyond this ocean of guilt and fear, only then will you reach the point of zenith and live up to your name."
Her words rang true in my head, I feel like Ihave to join my hand with hers. She remarked, "Turn fantasy into reality, Zenith. That's what you're best at, isn't it?"
Suddenly the room rose, I could see the stars illuminating the sky, reflecting off the water. I saw a Lyrid Meteor Shower, it looked beautiful as if I'd seen the Big Bang itself. Rella remarked, "Beautiful, isn't it?" Beautiful, it was. Rella's hand was warm, it made me feel at ease; like a mother's touch. Her cat meowed looking at the sky as if it were excited .. or scared? I don't understand cats at all. But honestly, I wasn't any better, but maybe.. at this moment I felt like I understood myself, in that sense I was better than that cat.
*Splink!*
The water beneath me rippled, I said, "I'm crying, aren't I?" These didn't feel like sad tears or anything, I feel like I could finally understand why people cry in moments that aren't really sad. Rella uttered, "Yes you are."
I uttered, "Thank you Rella.. for saving me."
"I didn't save you. You saved yourself." Rella uttered as she let go of my hand, shifting her hand to her chin. Her face illuminated by the bright sky was pretty. I could never forget this scene; from the meteor shower that was more beautiful than anything else I've ever seen ( other than Belle and my mother and sister); to her face and the sky and the ocean. All of it was beautiful.
Right now I feel like I could paint fantasy into reality with my own hands. I got my hand out of the position Rella had me in; I clenched my fist and wiped my tears. Rella uttered, "Power is always power, but weakness isn't always weakness. Control fantasy and reality, turn fantasy into reality; turn reality to fantasy. That's who you are, Zenith."
I asked, "Is that my power? Did you bestow it on me ?" She chuckled and remarked, "No. You bestowed this power upon yourself, otherwise this realm would've never existed. Use it to your full extent.. fanatic." She uttered: "You're only limited by fantasy, or in other regards reality at that too. Either way you must live up to your name." A moment of silence followed, I was astonished.
I cleared my throat, "Uhm. I see.. I'm limited basically to myself. But Rella, might I ask?" Rella nodded along. I asked, "Who are you?" Her answer was beyond simple and vague, but I feel like there is no other way she could explain it; since it was that simple.
She answered, "Rella vi Flâneur, simply Rella vi Flâneur. I'm the wanderer, that's all." She looked at me with her eyes that resembled a blushing rose. If her eyes were a universe, there'd be no end, I could look at it forever and still be amazed by its detail and beauty.
I had one final question for her, "How can I get back to Belle?" She gave me a look that panned from the stars to the ocean and said, "The key is your own soul." Rella had more to say, "Oh.. and aren't you gonna answer your question?" Come again? I said, "Huh. What question??" – She utters, "That question, you know; the one that echoed in your head before. Answer it."
The question that I had lingering in my heart ever since that day, how could it not immediately occur to me what it was? I laughed to myself; whether it was out of joy or sheer stupidity; laughing was simply enough reason, the answer was clear: "Yes it does! My soul quite literally jumped out."
Rella smiled, "Go on, Zenith. Go back to the present, defeat Selpharia for yourself." A set of stairs appeared and a huge door leading up to it. Rella uttered, "I'll be awaiting your next arrival.." I stood up, "But before that, let me play the tune of your death once again. It's a shame that stars didn't stay in the ocean, otherwise you would've thanked Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart." She stood up from the table and went to the side where the piano was located and started playing it again. This time it didn't sound like the tune of my death, but more so like the tune of my awakening.
*Step *
*Step*
Each step felt like a leap of faith, I leaned my head back and uttered, "Until we meet again." Rella said nothing back but gave me a smile, that was enough for me to keep on going.
*Creak*
The door creaked, I saw light. So I held on to it.