-Iwagakure
-Kurotsuchi POV
My hand slams the desk, splitting it in half. "DAMN THAT DAIMYO! IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT HE CUTS OUR FUNDING ALMOST ENTIRELY! NOW HE HAS TO DRAG US INTO HIS DAMNED MEGALOMANIAAAAAA!"
I huff and puff and glare at the shredded paper sitting between the halves of the desk, my breathing refuses to stop being rough and angry. We have been summoned to war against The Land of Flowers. The country where three of the few remaining S-Rank shinobi still alive have founded a ninja village, three S-Rank shinobi that will begin their journey towards us as soon as war is declared. Even if our jinchuriki had not died we would still be at a significant disadvantage.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself and failing. The samurai who brought me the letter had fled as soon as my hands clenched around his damned letter. He was smart enough to realise he'd become collateral damage.
The best course of action we can take is to surrender immediately. We need to make a token effort at mobilization and surrender as soon as Uchiha Sasuke and his teammates arrive. The three of them individually are more than capable of torching our entire village to the ground if we show any signs of resistance, let alone all three at once.
-two days later
Our shinobi forces will depart tomorrow. We've tried to waste as much time as we could. Shinobi have not yet left the village, since we waited to give all of our forces orders before we would deploy them. Orders were given to every shinobi in a one on one setting, making sure to waste as much time as possible with pleasantries.
Sadly the daimyo has either seen through us or just got fucking bored. I glare from behind my new desk at the nervous samurai. "Just leave the letter and fuck off. I can already tell what's written"
To his credit he does not waste time. He drops the letter on my desk, apologizes, bows deeply and immediately leaves. Opening the letter reveals it is as I suspected. We are apparently being ordered to stop dallying or we will be labeled as traitors of the country.
It's after I break the desk in anger once again that the solution to all of my recent ails arrives. The ceiling of my office explodes in black flames, the flames consuming all the resulting rubble. Gazing through the hole reveals Uchiha Sasuke, Hyuga Hinata and Haruno Sakura are all perched near its ledge. "Iwagakure surrenders in its entirety!"
There are two things I hope for at this moment. That our peace treaty is lenient, and that our fucking idiot of a daimyo perishes in this war.
—
-Sasuke pov
I stare at Kurotsuchi from atop her roof. She stares back. I probably should have expected this to be honest. It's not like fighting the three of us would've done her any good. At least we'll get to show off some at the capital, since the daimyo is much less likely to chicken out right now.
I decide to just leave this problem to other me's. I make ten shadoe clones and tell them to carry all the important people from Iwagakure to our village, to be kept as hostages. Once the war is over we'll negotiate terms with Iwagakure.
Next on the list is Daichi, the capital of The Land of Earth.
—
It takes us two hours to arrive in Daichi. Our plan of attack is for me to act as a 'distraction' while Hianata and Sakura kidnap the daimyo.
I casually begin walking towards the front gates of the city, when there's around a hundred meters left I activate my susanoo, use Amaterasu and cover the susanoo in black flames with Kagutsuchi. It's time to aura farm.
The stationed samurai quickly notice the gigantic ten meter tall chakra giant surrounded by black flames that manifested seemingly out of thin air. I blast their gates with Amaterasu before they can close them. By the time that I'm fifty meters away from them the samurai begin pouring out of the burning gates like ants. Another Amaterasu blast kills fifty of the horde, seemingly to no effect. I use Kagutsuchi to surround the area close to me in black flames. The samurai that attempt to charge through burn to death as soon as they enter, the smarter ones hang back, believing that i cannot keep this up for long.
I give them a malicious grin. "This is your only chance to surrender. Afterwards you'll be either dead or slaves."
Some of them seem to consider my offer, before gripping their swords tighter, fearing that their allies may strike them down if they dare take it. After giving them their only opportunity to surrender I stop wasting time. I create one hundred shadow clones. Amaterasu and Kagutsuchi are used by all of them to encircle the samurai and I inside of a circle of black flames. A small quantity of them try to escape through the flames, nothing comes out of the other side. Their ranged capabilities are limited, their specialization lies in kenjutsu, the amount of samurai present that even know ninjutsu can be counted on one's hand.
All of the clones then start a ninjutsu barrage of wind and fire on the gathered samurai. Every jutsu that lands leads to shrieks of pain and creates an ever permeating, rancid smell of burning flesh. After a quarter of them have been turned into charcoal they drop their weapons. I have the clones fire off a final volley of jutsu before I begin my walk towards the palace. Half of the clones enter the circle, tying up and sealing the chakra of the still living samurai, they will be picked up and captured by our incoming shinobi.
I extinguish the black flames surrounding me, leaving the wall of flame intact. I walk slowly, unhurried through the busy streets. Most of the civilians run when they see my towering susanoo. Some freeze and stare at it stupefied. A small minority simply faints. Chaos continues erupting throughout the city as I make my way towards the palace.
Halfway along the way the entire palace is blown up to the high heavens, the burning rubble landing throughout the city, adding to the increasing mayhem.
Once I reach the stairs towards the remaining burning rubble of the palace I continue my slow walk. Reaching the top of them reveals Sakura sitting on the daimyo, who is kneeling like a dog. Hinata is right next to Sakura, casually reading a romance novel.
I smile at them. "Mission complete. Let's get this loser to our daimyo, that should make for a pretty nice gift, don't you think?"
—
I drop the daimyo on the floor in the middle of Kazukiko's court. The bundle of panic and fear continues to attempt to shout through his bindings. I theatrically bow towards Kazukiko. "I have come bringing glad tidings. I am sure you recognize this man, he is the daimyo of The Land of Earth. We have attacked their capital and secured victory. When it comes to Iwagakure we will negotiate the peace terms personally, since we are both our land's premier shinobi villages."
Kazukiko stares dumbfounded, with his mouth open, at the bound daimyo. His gaze occasionally shifts towards me, before quickly going back to the tied up idiot. I smile at Kazukiko. "I will be on my way, I wish you a good evening."
After that I just shunshin away, with none of the gathered nobles, guards and samurai able to react. The journey towards our village is not long. Sakura and Hinata went ahead of me. Reaching Sakuragakure takes half an hour, with me landing right on my favorite balcony.
The guards outside of the balcony guide me towards Kurotsuchi once ordered to do so. I enter her quarters unannounced, finding her with Sakura and Hinata drinking tea in a somewhat tense atmosphere. Tense for Kurotsuchi, Sakura and Hinata seem to be mostly enjoying making the woman turn into a bundle of nerves.
I drag a chair towards their table and sit on it. I look at Kurotsuchi. "I honestly don't even know what to ask from you, since you literally have almost nothing to offer me that I'm interested in."
Kurotsuchi takes a deep breath, trying and failing to calm herself. "I will offer you a complete copy of our village's Kinjutsu scroll as long as you agree not to add any financial sanctions or war reparations."
That was quick, I thought it would take more effort to get her to agree to that, looks like she's desperate. "Give me two men from each of your clans with a bloodline limit and I'll consider not asking for war reparations"
Kurotsuchi hiccups, then sighs. "I agree, is there anything else you want?"
Man, extortion is so fun. "For now not really, I'll let you know if I think of anything else"
Kurotsuchi looks like she's about to cry. "I cannot offer anything more. Our village has no finances to speak of."
I shrug. "Alright, we've come to an agreement in that case. I'll send some shinobi to Iwagakure so that they can pick the men up. The scroll We'll come and check personally, if you try anything funny with it we just go to war again."
Sakura, Hinata and I then depart from her quarters, leaving the distraught woman alone.
-five days later
An interesting letter has arrived. We have been invited to a Kage summit. Apparently shinobi really disliked when a daimyo strong-armed their village into a losing war and are now looking for solutions to their own daimyo problem. The daimyo of The Land of Earth is sure to be an interesting person in the history books.