Chapter 11
A Girl, A Real Girl? (Ret urn to the main story.)
Day 61
He could've, but he hadn't shot. He had a reason. What if losing one queen meant ten more would rise up? If that happened, what chance would anybody have? I need to get the answer to what happens if it dies.
The creature was the brightest shade of blue he had ever seen. The dress, shoes, gloves, light jacket and big floppy straw hat were all the same color. In a different circumstance it might have been amusing or enamoring. It was neither, but it was an improvement over the mess. It might mean she would talk about herself. Maybe, she would talk and not babble on. Maybe it did not mean a thing. He rubbed his shirt, hoping all the creature had come off.
Mercy was puzzled. Samuel did not pay any attention to her entrance. She contemplated tapping him on the leg or arm. She decided against any tapping. She really did not like his reflexes. She rubbed her midsection just below her ribs.
"Hungry?" He spoke. He knew the reason why she rubbed her abdomen. Secretly, he smiled.
"No, I was just thinking. Remembering." She felt like she was smiling. Why? Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized that he had been watching. Noticing.
"Well, you have cleaned up nicely. Mercy, do you have any more questions for me, right now?"
She said, "No. I have no questions. I do have many words. A statement? An idea? I do not have the correct words for what I have done. I do not know what to say. I will just speak words. In the last few days, we had not done this before. We do not wish to behave so again. We will try... I will try to.... We will be better. We will make better behavior for our friend Samuel."
"Pain is a rough teacher, but you sit here today." She seems to like it when I speak nonsense.
"Yes, I choose to continue." She spoke soft and weak, almost human.
Samuel inquired, "Alright, let's talk about you. What's the very first clear memory that you have."
"A trailer-park." She replied as she smiled at the confused man. She went on to explain.
He was more interested in her head than the house. He really did not care about ancient metal houses on wheels that did not move; even if they herded together like grazing animals. He asked, "You have had this memory of houses on wheels that do not move for all your life? It was floating around in your head?"
She pointed to the grassy field behind her. She hesitated before she said, "No, I did not remember it until...When you came for me. I was remembering." She gazed upward. She seemed to study the leaves on the tree as they swayed in the wind.
He pointed, "Out there? You were thinking about a trailer?" The creature really is crazy; isn't she.
"Yes, and every memory this body had before." Suddenly, she stopped talking as if there was something she did not want to say. She looked directly at Samuel with a surprise look on her face.
He said, then he inhaled deeply and leaned forward. "Before what? Before? Before you, were you? You found the memories of the girl? This body? You found her? I don't know what to say about the before times. I only have pieces of the past. The time with the metal houses on wheels. I can't even ask a question. I don't even know enough of the history to ask questions. How can I possibly help?" If Mercy has her memories; then it is possible for something of the person to remain. Could there really be a way to save some of them?
Mercy swallowed nervously, and she cleared her throat; then she spoke. "She is still here. She is awake now, and very something? I do not know what." Her gaze returned to the leaves on the tree.
Each waited for the other to speak. The man was puzzled. For one brief moment, he thought he saw fear in the monster's eyes. He knew of nothing that had scared a creature.
"You will walk the border soon?" She whispered.
He replied, "Yea, I do believe I will."
"May I walk with you?" She added," I will not cross."
He said, "Sure, won't stop you from walking that side."
Her gray eyes grew brighter, and the ring of honey was noticeable. "We will walk. I will speak of my girl." She grinned like a snake. "And you will keep your hands to yourself."
"That's good to know. Never could walk and use my hands at the same time." He said just to talk.
"Samuel, I grow fond of your humor." He said I cleaned up nicely. Oh, to be seen, noticed by my friend. She raised one finger high into the air. "I will not ask. I will just go pee." The Goddess Queen ran into the tall grass.
Day 62
The day began with Samuel's question. "Were the girl's memories the ones you were looking for when you coerced me into telling – talking about me?"
"No." Mercy stated feeling less monochrome today. Her clothing matched, but it was not one color. She realized; the man waited for an explanation. "No, I was trying to enter the part of the far place that terrifies, terrified me. The center of the place where humans cannot go. We had no notion of anything from before living there. We understood you as the only outside connection to that place."
Finally, a slice of truth, maybe? He said, "And that's the reason your kind sought me out?I was a key, you could use. But when the door opened, you got more than you bargained for. There was a girl there. Tell me this Little One, does she have a human voice, a human soul, in there?"
There was a long pause, and Mercy replied, "Yes, and they are both terrifyingly beautiful." Fear seemed to flow from the creature's expression. She wrapped her arms around herself trying to bring herself some comfort.
The answer stunned him. It was unexpected. It was too scary for the creature not to be true. A human soul still in Mercy? Could this be his path forward? "Does she speak to you?" Suddenly. He realized that the creature could actually feel fear. It was true.
Mercy whispered, "In mumbles and whispers. Soon, she will speak to you, maybe?"
"Could you hear the voice of Allyssa? Did she speak to you?" He asked flatly as he examined his feet.
"Yes, but we have only a few words." Her right arm reached for the man. Her hand hovered in the air midway between them, palm up. Her eyes grew dark. Her head leaned to the right. Her voice was shaky and uncertain. "We do not have the soul of your wife. We have no other soul."
Would she dare to lie? Hatred returned to him. "What does the girl inside you say about that?" The image of Allyssa's body in the hospital rubble came to him. The faces of each creature stopped at the gate flashed in his mind. The heartbreak of every creature he had to end to save a human life weighed upon him. One more would not be that heavy.
"We must be with our sisters." Mercy rose, and she walked into the field.
This foul thing better have some really useful answers. It was the first time he wanted to cause pain to anything. He had been the end to more creatures than he could remember, but he ended them quickly.
The man slept, ate, worked, and grumbled. The day did not pass. Even Randolph kept his distance. His insides weren't right. He couldn't let anything stop him. Time was short, and. the world needed a fix. He needed the fix for it. When that was done, the creature was his. If he was lucky, He would live that long. And if the world couldn't be saved. This creature would truly know the meaning of pain. After all, it was his responsibility. He was the last living human to face a creature, and he had the queen.
He sat in the chair with the Old Man's hat and gun. The Old Man thought of them as pretty ladies; he could do the same. He had to believe. He couldn't end it yet.
Mercy did not bounce. Her gaze did not float all around. Her footsteps seemed sure the ground would be where she stepped. Her eyes locked on the man. She sat deliberately like she had a great purpose. "Defiant." She said nothing else.
Samuel let out a sigh. "You will have to explain?"
Mercy would open her mouth and close it. She repeated this several times.
"Tell me who or what is defiant?" He sat and considered ways to make her talk. He decided to try and be patient.
"It is what we call her." Mercy stated like it was a question.
He asked, "Call who?"
Without care, Mercy said, "The girl we found, inside. We name her Defiant."
Defiant and a soul, this young woman may be an improvement. "I like it. Tell me about her?"
Mercy's eyes would shift between gold and silver, and honey and grey. It was like watching some kind of insane random kaleidoscope. She told distant stories, like a stranger telling her about a friend's friend. Mercy spoke of a young lady with short dark hair and light golden-brown eyes who was fond of black dresses; except on the days, she wanted to wear bright colors.
Calmly, Samuel asked, "Mercy what happens when you die?"
"I do not believe Defiant would survive." Mercy realized what he had asked. He spoke about new Queens and ending the sisters. She searched his eyes with as much human as she could draw out. "That is what we are here to discover. Or, maybe, we are here to determine it."
He said, "Do you know which?"
"Yes." She continued with her description of Defiant's life.
Day 63
Rain dropped from the cold gray sky. Randolph left the barn and found the man on the ridge lookout. The man said, "Well, Randolph, do you know what's happening?"
If the mule noticed; he didn't say.
The man went on, "Old Boy, there's twice as many as normal out there? They all seem to be traveling south. They may be gathering? I'll have to find out."
Randolph shook the water off his head.
He spoke to the mule, "Yea, I know. We shouldn't be out in the rain. At least we won't be carrying water for the garden for a few days."
The mule didn't reply as the man reached for the reins.
"Now do you see, why I didn't take them off. You don't have enough sense to stay out of the rain." He spoke to the mule like he was an old friend.
The mule tugged back on his reins.
"I know, me neither. Come on." Samuel replied to the tug.
Mercy watched the man with her many eyes. He had seen. When the time came, she hoped he would understand.
Day 64
The rain was the same as yesterday. He had found too many tracks in the spot where he saw the creatures. This wasn't a few. This was hundreds of them since the rain started. He followed them south toward the narrow river. Bodies. Bodies and tracks scattered all over. The creatures appeared to have fallen over and died. They walked themself to death? He heard moaning. One of the creatures was dragging itself by. He crossed the border and went to the house as quickly as he could.
He hated the killing. He hated the creatures more. But to watch those gray bony shells that were once people in agony was soul wrenching. Thousands were out there, more were coming. There was nothing he could do.
Mercy watched the man with her many eyes. He had seen. Maybe, he would understand. Maybe, he would feel the sacrifice.
Day 65
The rain passed with the midday sun. The chairs by the tree had been turned over before the rain started. They were still wet. She was leaning on the dripping bark of the tree. He flipped the chairs and moved them into the sun. Her yellow dress seemed to be a very odd color to him. He didn't know or care why. Earlier, each had mumbled about wanting to say something. Neither had spoken since. He nodded and pointed at the chairs.
She understood, "When they are dry."
"Yea." He agreed.
When the chairs dried, he brought out two new cushions. He did not see the creature. He started to return to the house.
"Samuel, do you like me?" A small voice suddenly asked.
"Why do you ask?" He stated not wanting to answer.
"I do not want to die alone." She came out from behind the tree.
"Even if we are the most bitter enemies, I won't let you die alone." He moved to the chairs. "Sit and feel less alone. Together we can talk about dying. Maybe, we can learn a little about living." The creature really did like to speak in nonsense.
She fumbled to the chair. "I called my sisters to me. About a year ago. All of them. Many were old, and nearing what you call the mad death. I can, we can prevent it in my sisters. Call them to the far place. A peaceful long sleep. The world is a big place. Many do not make it. Many did not make it. No new sisters have joined for over ninety days. All of our energy has been toward gathering. Now we understand that all our hope is in you. And me. In your eyes, I can tell you have seen the price we pay." A sad little child sat before him. "We... I have learned about hope. My... Our hope rests in you."
"Desperate are the times when your worst enemy is your best friend." He pointed toward the narrow river. "Out there is the price for hope. The price for you to be here. And the price for change. It doesn't mean I have to like it."
It said, "Samuel, that is why I chose you."
"You called every sister in the whole world to you? Just like that?" He snapped his fingers. "What about the ones by the old man's house? They did not come." I believe she lies to me again.
She or it answered, "The madness called them to him. To force them to me, it would have been agony for them. No matter how I seem to you; I could not force them to come. That would have been too much."
He murmured, "He treated them like ladies. At a stick's lengths away, but ladies. Noisy, smelly, bony ladies."
Mercy answered, "They were quite fond of him."
Samuel asked, "Alright, where are all the babies? With all the relations the sisters have their got to be babies?"
"None of the sisters can have children. None have had children." She said in a low voice.
"All of you are sterile?" He was surprised.
"That may be possible." She stated.
"Mercy, just over sixty days ago you asked for my help. And today is the first time you talk about gatherings and infertility? That is wrong. If I don't know what's going on, I can't help you. So, what else is there?" He wondered.
She replied, "Such things as this are normal for us. How can they have importance?"
He asked, "In the last ten years, how many of you have ended?"
She stated flatly, "Three billion would be a low number."
"Is that normal?" As a young man he was told the number of people and creatures was less than four billion. "For so many to end in that short of a period of time?"
"This is the reason we came?" Mercy thought. Did he not understand? Everyone is dying. I could not do this alone.
"But you didn't tell me. About the numbers. Or about the sisters not being able to have children." Samuel explained.
"We understood that all had this knowledge." Mercy replied.
"I didn't. We are separate beings. We don't have the same knowledge. There are some things you know that I don't know. And there are some things I know that you don't know." He explained.
Mercy spoke to herself. "Before, we did not know separate. Before the knowing of separate, other could not know sister's thoughts. Samuel was not given the complete mind of Mercy. We were in error of belief. We... I was incorrect. Samuel was damaged by incorrect information. This must be corrected..."
"You thought I knew." He Interrupted as he realized she could go on like this for hours. "Tell me about the gathering first. We'll move on to the fertility problem after. Along the way, we'll pick up whatever we missed."
Day 66
Mercy was in the chair before Randolph was fed. The man used a two wheeled cart to move the mule's leavings to the garden. A garden he probably wouldn't have time to harvest. He felt her arrival before she sat down.
She waited until he sat down, and she said, "What do you do when your worst enemy is your best friend?"
He said, "Good morning."
"Good morning, Samuel." She returned.
He stated, "I see you have a greater understanding of the world, this morning."
She questioned him, "The answer is to have a greater understanding of the world?"
He adjusted the cushion. "Mercy, have you considered that the answer you are looking for may not be mine to give. Your answer may be out there somewhere." He waved his hand. "Maybe, you have the answer, already?" He pointed at her.
"There is the chance, no answer exists." She spoke with sadness in her voice.
Stoically, he said, "When you decide no answer exists; it is the same as you deciding to stop looking for one. It's the only sure way to lose. Do you want to quit now?"
"Mercy wants many things Samuel will not let her do. Mercy wants many things Mercy will not let Mercy do. Mercy does not want to quit Mercy. Mercy does not want to quit, Samuel. Mercy wants to keep searching."
"Now," he inquired, "tell me again, why do the sisters have to gather to get to the far place?"
"Proximity." She began her explanation, which continued for most of the day. None of it made sense if you weren't part of the collective.
Day 67
"It's a tea made from beans. You dry them, brown them and grind them. It's bitter. But it's different from drinking water all of the time." He poured some in her cup.
Mercy sipped from her cup. She made a face he hadn't seen before.
He stated, "I said it was bitter."
She smacked her lips together. "Coffee?" She smacked some more. "Decaffeinated? It could use some cream and sugar. Maybe whipped cream with coco powder? Possibly some cinnamon?"
"I don't understand any of that." His puzzled expression matched his words. "But it sounds really good."
The creature burst out with the words, "Thank you, oh God did I need that."
"God?" He sat up. A glimpse of the human with her soul? "Mercy?"
"Sush!" He was interrupted. "She's not here. She's far away. Thanks, for the coffee. Bye-bye."
Hurriedly, he asked, "Who are you?"
"Sush, I'll be watching. She always is, Sammy."
"Well, this is new. Whatever it is?" He spoke out loud.
"Samuel, you are holding the pot, and you don't know what it is? I don't believe I will try it under these circumstances." Mercy was very sure of her statement.
"Oh, no, Mercy. I was mumbling to myself. This is coffee. It's made from beans. You dry them, brown them and grind them. It's bitter. But it's different from drinking water all of the time. Have you heard of it before?"
"Not that I recall. Is this important?" It answered with a grin.
"No, not at all. Have the sisters given any thought to God?" He inquired.
She said, "We understand the concept, but we have not given it much consideration."
He reflected understanding, "I see. God is another. Until recently, others didn't exist."
She said, "Samuel, what is it that you ask of me?"
He smiled and replied. "I was curious. I didn't mean anything else."
She sipped her coffee. "It is still warm. Yes, it is bitter." She sipped again. "I like it."
Samuel nodded.
"Samuel, drink your coffee. I will tell you what we sisters know of God." She spent the remainder of the day describing the world's religions and beliefs. She did not know why she had this knowledge. It had not been important before this moment.
Darkness drew close. No spark of a soul or girl reappeared. Samuel said, "Do you need time to help the sisters to the far place?"
"Most of a day would help us greatly?" She did not look up.
"Go help your sisters. Good night, Mercy." He said softly and rose. He turned toward the house.
Mercy replied, "I am beginning to understand friendship. I hope one day we are not the bitterest enemies. Good night my friend."