"Finally, civilization. It's been so long since I've had a proper bath!" Mari said.
"I don't know if you're getting a 'proper bath' here..."
We came across a small, rural town. A few days prior, we'd left the wooded terrain that makes up most of the continent and arrived at one of two deserts, The Siniella.
It was dry and hot, and it was the middle of the summer. Large plateaus jutted from the earth, forcing us to take inconvenient and winding ravines through the desert. Eventually, we reached the small town.
"WEEEEELL howdy there folks, what brings y'all here to Torville?"
Is he the mayor or something? What type of town has a man greet every person that arrives...? They must be bored.
"Food and lodging please!" Mari said.
"Food? Lodging? I'm afraid almost nunthing here'll be up-to-par wit' yer noble standards."
"Was it that obvious? Don't worry about it, as long as we have a bed and food we'll be fine," Alwyn stepped in. "Unless you country folk don't even have that?"
"Well 'course we got food and bed! Don't expect nunthing to be any good now, though!"
The man led the six of us to the nearest inn. It was near empty, still though, there weren't enough rooms. Only three. I suggested the obvious approach... Prince and I share a room while Liora and Mari shared one.
It became a whole big deal, though, since Aliza didn't want to share a room with Alwyn, and Prince didn't want to share with Aliza for whatever reason.
"Lots. Let's draw lots."
"Boooring. Who made you the leader?" Alwyn slapped the back of my head. "What is this anyway? A school trip?"
What's a 'school trip'??
"I'm not sleeping in the same room as you."
"Then sleep outsi—"
Alwyn crashed through the window and into the alley outside.
"I don't want to sleep with Mari," Liora pouted.
What now...!? I thought it was all settled!
"...Why?" I asked.
"She's an annoying bitch."
The hell!?
"Wooow, that's not nice, Liora," Aliza scolded.
She didn't seem to care all that much. Mari had her arms crossed and was refusing to look at Liora.
"What even happened? I could've sworn you two were fine just yesterday...?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Liora said, storming into one of the rooms.
"I'm not sleeping with her," Aliza said, closing the door to her room. "Or anyone else!"
What's up with her? Why's everyone besides me acting strangely today? Well, besides Prince. I think?
Left beside me were Mari and Prince. They were both looking at me.
"I'm sorry, Mari... it seems like you have to sleep outside—"
Mari punched me in the gut and slammed the door to the final room behind her.
"Well you've been awfully quiet. Real useful, like always."
"What did you want me to say!?" Prince shot back.
"Hey, boys! Down here!"
We peered out the window. Alwyn was calling us down.
"So you guys got kicked out, too? This is why I don't do women," he sighed. "They're not worth the trouble, am I right?"
He had his arms around the two of us and a bottle of whisky in his hand. He was dragging us along the dirt street. It was as bustling as I imagined it could get, and eyes were on us.
"Can we go eat? I'm starving..." Prince asked.
"Isn't whisky enough? Man, I'll say, places like this may not have much going for them, but damn is their liquor good! Go on then, Lin, take a swig. Not you though, I'd be royally executed if your pops found out!"
I grabbed the bottle from his hands and downed a few gulps.
"Kaaahhhh, how'd you make it all cold? I've never had cold liquor before. I thought only nobles had ice cubes."
"There's no ice cubes you idiot! It's magic, obviously!"
Right, duh.
We crashed into the local tavern. It was the most populated place in the town, so much that it was even hard to find a seat.
Alwyn kicked his legs onto the table. "OIIIIII! PRETTY LADY OVER THERE, WE'D LIKE TO ORDER!"
"Are you drunk? Why are you causing a scene?!" I kicked him in the leg.
"Not really, but it's fun to wobble around and act wasted, isn't it?"
"No—" wait, that actually sounds kinda fun, though? "GEEEET ME A BEER AND WHOLE CHICKEN BEFORE I TURN THIS WHOOOLLEE PLACE OVEEERR!"
The lady started to laugh.
"Awwww, you're a real funny little boy. Copying your brother, are you?" she winked at Alwyn.
Damn...
"Could I get the steak and potatoes, please?" Prince asked politely.
Alwyn couldn't stop laughing at what the lady said and I was too depressed to order.
"I'll make that three orders, then?"
I solemnly gave a thumbs up.
"When are you gonna grow, huh? I'll feel embarrassed sending a midget off to battle."
"Shut up..."
"You're not that short. I was only a little taller at your age," Prince comforted.
"What? We're the same age! And you're barely taller than I am anyway!"
"Just avoid the topic. It's a sore spot for him, okay?" Alwyn told him.
Bastards...
BOOOOOOM!!!!
The side wall of the tavern exploded open and three strange looking men stood in the opening.
"HAAAAND US ALL YER BELONGIN'S!"
"Whoa, am I seeing things right?" marvelled Prince. "Cowboys are real?!"
"COWBOYS? WE AIN'T NO COWBOYS, BOY! WE OUTLAWS!"
What am I seeing right now?
"Go on, both of you," Alwyn whispered. "Save the day!"
"What? Why us?"
"No one cares if the old guy does it. If you two boys save the tavern, we'll get free food for life!"
"You're rich! And so is he!" I pointed to Prince.
"Hey, that's my daddy's money. I don't have any funds."
Prince leapt out of the chair and grabbed his hat off the table. He put it on, the golden crown glimmering, and the outlaws drew their weapons on him.
"Don't move, or we'll shoot!"
"Oh shit," Alwyn blurted out. "That's not good."
"Just take them out already, those little things can't do anything to you!" I shouted.
"No! Don't move! They have—" Alwyn shouted, jumping over the table.
They pointed the strange weapons at Prince and fired. Alwyn quickly cast a shield of wind, and the small projectiles stopped midair.
The outlaws turned the weapons on Alwyn and fired again.
What? How're they casting magic with those weapons?
Alwyn blocked another two bullets, but another one went past and grazed my ribs.
"Seriously? Why'd I get hit when I'm just sitting here!?"
Alwyn looked back with a sorry grimace, then waved his hand and sent the two outlaws flying into the ceiling. They were knocked out cold.
"What the hell was that?" I asked, touching my wound.
"I can't believe it," Prince said. "How did a band of rural outlaws get their hands on the most expensive and rare capital technology...?"
"I'm not following?"
He looked at Alwyn warily.
Is he trying to keep it a secret? Is it that important?
"Oh if you won't spit it out then I will. The king's royal guard created some bullshit they claim can rival wizards. A real lousy and inefficient weapon, I'd say, but it can certainly kill you if you're not careful."
"Why'd they go and make a weapon like that if they have knights?"
"Tch, that's something to ask the king."
Alwyn stared at the outlaws.
"Prince is right, though. It's confusing how these guys came across the most expensive weapons in the kingdom... 'matchlocks,' you call them?"
Prince nodded.
Alwyn grabbed the weapons off the ground and turned them into a molten heap of garbage. He then tied up the three and tossed them into a corner.
"Why's it so quiet, huh? Where's the celebration? The free food? We just saved your lives," Alwyn asked the tavern.
A rustling swept over the tavern, and in an instant, at least forty 'matchlocks' were aimed at the three of us.
"A set up?"