Siren sounds echoed down the narrow street. Red and blue lights flickered and danced on the concrete walls. Darian slightly turned his head and stared into the bright headlights of the approaching police car. It felt as if time had frozen in that moment, the world locked within those lights. When his eyes met mine, a mixture of anger, regret, and helplessness was written all over his face. Then, as if he completely lost control, a muffled sob burst out and tears streamed down his cheeks.
With trembling fingers, he threw the knife to the ground. The metal clinked sharply against the pavement stones. Just as I thought he would move away from me, he suddenly sat in my lap. His hands gripped my shoulders tightly, he lifted my chin, and spoke in a hoarse voice:
"Really, brother… I did everything for you. Why don't you believe me? Everyone was trying to hurt you… don't you understand?" I had lost count of how many times I had heard this sentence today.
At that moment, the police car screeched to a sudden halt, the sound of tires skidding on the asphalt deafening. The doors flung open swiftly. Two officers pointed their guns at me and Darian, shouting sharply:
"Let him go! Step back! Hands up!"
Then they shouted at me:
"You! Move away from here!"
But Darian didn't respond; he still held my shoulders tight. I didn't try to push him away. Suddenly, I felt like I started thinking clearly. Darian said he was trying to protect me, but protect me from what? Should I listen to him? Before I could process anything properly, two officers quickly approached from the side and grabbed him. One pressed his knee hard on Darian's shoulder, causing him to lose balance; the other forced him to the ground. When his face hit the cold asphalt, he took a deep breath but kept speaking:
"Brother… why don't you understand the truth?"
One officer pressed his knee into Darian's back while the other snapped handcuffs tightly around his wrists. The metallic click echoed loudly. Darian's wrists were now securely bound.
I stepped back a few paces. My heart was pounding wildly in my chest. An officer came up to me, placed a hand on my shoulder, and looked into my eyes:
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
I nodded slightly. The crowd around us grew larger; curious eyes, phone cameras, and whispers thickened the heavy atmosphere on the street. The police pulled out yellow tape and secured the perimeter, pushing the crowd back.
As Darian was dragged to the police car door, his eyes never left me. Bloodshot and shining with tears. Suddenly, he screamed hoarsely:
"Brother! Please forgive me! I only wanted to protect you… really!"
His voice broke with sobs. They pushed him into the car, lowered his head, and shut the door. Inside, he was still trembling and crying. Even after the door closed, his voice echoed in my ears.
An officer approached me and took out a notebook.
While the officer was taking notes, my eyes kept drifting to Darian inside the car. His head was resting against the glass, lips moving silently. My heart ached. I didn't know what to do. Even though he was my family's killer, he was still my brother, and he hadn't even started high school yet! How could he plan and do something like this? As my thoughts overwhelmed me, I was told to get in the car.
On the way to the police station, a middle-aged woman with gray hair sat next to me. When I looked at her, she smiled gently:
"I'm a social worker, my name is Monan. Since you're under eighteen, you can't be interrogated alone. Because you don't have a close relative, I will be with you."
I nodded briefly, showing that I didn't want to talk. I turned my head to look outside the window. The silence in the car mixed with the hum of the engine. How was I this calm? Yes, I still felt like there were thorns in my throat and I couldn't speak, but shouldn't I be worse? When I thought about my family, I couldn't hold back and cried quietly.
When we arrived at the station, they asked for my ID. While my information was being checked in the system, the officer asked my name, birthdate, and address. After verification, the social worker and I were taken to the interrogation room. There was a recording device on the table, and the only chair was reserved for me. The room felt tense. I sat down.
The officer first asked after a short silence:
"How are you feeling?"
I didn't answer.
"I hope you can answer the questions well."
Then the formal questions began:
"What's your full name?"
"Rian."
"When's your birthday?"
"October 8, 2007."
"So you're sixteen?"
I nodded.
"Where were you and what were you doing before the incident?"
"I had just left school and was playing games with friends at an internet café. But we broke up after remembering we had an exam the next day."
"When did the incident start?"
"About 5-10 minutes ago, I'm not sure."
"What did you see first?"
"There was an eye in front of the door when I came home. Inside, I saw my dad's head and Darian trying to harm my mom."
"What did your brother say to you?"
"He said, 'I did everything for you.'"
"What did he do before attacking you?"
"He noticed I called the police and jumped at me directly. Before that, he was repeating the same words."
"Did he have a weapon?"
"I only saw a knife."
"What did you do to defend yourself?"
"I tried to push him but he didn't move at all."
"Was anyone else at home?"
"My mom and dad… I saw their bodies."
"Did you see anyone else?"
"No."
"Did you hear anything during the incident?"
"Only that Darian kept repeating the same sentence."
"When was the last time you saw your family?"
"We had breakfast together in the morning, Darian was sleeping then."
"Had your brother ever been violent before?"
"No, he was always cheerful and never hurt anyone."
"Did you have a fight before?"
"No."
"Had your brother been acting differently lately?"
"Yes, he was sleeping more because he stayed up late."
"Why do you think he did it?"
"He says he did it to protect me, but I don't know why."
"Describe the incident from the beginning to the end."
"When I came home, I saw a strange mark in front of the door. Inside, I saw my dad's head and Darian hurting my mom. I called the police. Suddenly, he appeared behind me and jumped on me. His eyes were completely red. He was about to stab his knife into my eyes when you arrived. Then he threw the knife and hugged me, crying."
I wondered how long this would last. When they said I could leave, I went outside and sat down. In one day, I lost everything. My family's body parts kept appearing in my mind. I felt nauseous. People looked like Darian to me. It was pure torture.
Darian… Why did you do this? What did you learn, and why did you do it? Or was it just an excuse, a misunderstanding? My head felt like it would explode. When I saw my eyes reflected on the phone screen, I was shocked. They looked dead. Rather than calm, I looked like I was already dead. But why couldn't I feel my own emotions?