The cafeteria smelled the same as always—greasy pizza, cold fries, and the faint odor of hand sanitizer that couldn't mask the weight of everyone else's chatter. She carried her tray through the crowded room, keeping her head down, her movements careful and deliberate.
Her fake friends were already at their usual table, laughing too loudly, the kind of laughter that demanded attention. They waved her over, and she forced a smile, sliding into the seat beside them.
"Hey! You're late," one of them said, nudging her with an elbow.
"Sorry," she muttered, trying to keep her voice light. Inside, her chest still throbbed from the memory of Kai's hug. She swallowed the emotions, pressing them down where no one could see.
The conversation around her buzzed, meaningless and shallow, but she nodded along, laughed when prompted, and feigned interest. Every bite of her food felt mechanical, like she was just going through the motions. Her eyes kept flicking toward the hallway doors, almost expecting to see Kai standing there, watching her, but he wasn't.
One of her fake friends leaned closer, whispering something she couldn't catch. She smiled politely, hiding the tension in her shoulders. It was exhausting, pretending to be someone she wasn't, pretending the hug, the touch, and the look he gave her didn't exist.
She tried to focus on the tray in front of her, but the memory of his hands brushing her tear away, the warmth of his arms holding her… it wouldn't leave. Her stomach twisted, a mix of confusion, longing, and fear.
"Are you even listening?" one of her fake friends snapped, yanking her back to the present.
"Yeah," she said quickly, nodding, forcing the same hollow smile she had perfected over years.
Everyone around her laughed at something trivial, and she joined in quietly, though the sound felt foreign to her ears. Inside, her mind replayed Kai's words: You don't have to figure it out right now. I'm not going anywhere.
She wondered if anyone else could ever make her feel seen like that. She wondered if she could ever allow herself to.
But for now, she sat there, pretending.
Because here, in the cafeteria, pretending was the only way to survive.