The cafeteria roared with its usual chaos when she walked back in—trays clattering, people yelling across tables, laughter sharp and echoing off the walls. After the silence of the library, it hit her like a wave, loud enough to drown her.
Her fake friends spotted her instantly. "There you are!" one of them called, waving her over.
She forced a smile, walking toward them, slipping back into her role like sliding on an old, uncomfortable mask. She sat down, nodding and laughing at the right times, pushing food around her tray without really tasting it.
But her mind wasn't here. It was still in the library. Still with Kai.
The way he had looked at her—not with pity, not with disgust, not with the fake interest her so-called friends put on—but with something real. The way he told her she didn't have to figure it out, didn't have to pretend. His words kept echoing, soft but steady, like a thread pulling at her chest.
"Are you zoning out again?" one of her friends asked, snapping her back. The girl laughed, not kindly, and the others joined in.
She chuckled along, though it came out hollow. "Just tired," she said quickly, brushing it off.
They went back to gossiping about who Kai might like, their voices growing louder with excitement. Every girl in school seemed to be talking about him, their faces lit with curiosity and infatuation.
But they didn't know him. Not really.
She shifted in her seat, staring down at her tray. It felt strange, surreal, knowing she had been with him—alone—in a space where he wasn't just the mysterious new boy everyone wanted to figure out, but someone who had seen her in a way no one ever had.
She kept her face neutral, pretending to listen, laughing at the right spots, but inside, she was somewhere else. Somewhere quieter. Somewhere safer.
And every time she felt her mask slipping, she remembered the way he'd said it—you dont have to act normal for me.
It made the pretending here feel even heavier.