"Girlfriends?"
Inside the Akatsuki hideout, Nagato stared at Sasori, who was delivering his report, his face a picture of shock. "You saw Yuto with your own eyes? With his girlfriends? And two at that?"
'Seriously, dude? That's what you're focusing on? Not the tailed beasts being stolen from us?'
Sasori's inner monologue was practically screaming on his face, but he managed to keep his cool. With an indifferent expression, he nodded. "That's what the female ANBU confirmed."
"I see," Nagato said, nodding. "Good work out there."
'That's it?'
Sasori stood there, waiting for Nagato to continue, but after a long pause… nothing.
'What the hell?'
'What the actual hell?'
You, the leader, went through all this trouble to have us capture the tailed beasts, only for that kid to snatch them, and you don't even care?
"I know what you're thinking, Sasori," Nagato said, his lavender, ripple-patterned eyes locking onto him. "Whether the tailed beasts end up with Yuto or with me makes no difference. As long as our goals align, the details don't matter."
'No difference?'
At this point, Sasori seemed to realize something. After a moment of silence, he replied flatly, "You're the leader so it's your call."
With that, he turned and walked away.
"Sasori seems… dissatisfied with what you said," Konan remarked from Nagato's side.
"It's understandable. He hasn't adjusted his thinking yet," Nagato murmured before shifting the subject. "More importantly… about your little brother. You're not upset?"
Nagato was well aware that his friend harbored more than just sisterly affection for her so-called "little brother". Yet, hearing that he might have two girlfriends didn't seem to faze her at all?
That was… unusual.
"If he only had one girlfriend, I might be angry," Konan said coolly.
"…Huh?" Nagato's face went blank.
"Having just one means she's the only one," a voice chimed in from the side. "But with two, you figure you still have a shot, right?"
The speaker was none other than Yahiko, his bright orange hair was unmistakable. Now a fully realized Arrancar, the bone-white markings beneath his earlobes stood out starkly.
"Konan… that's your logic?" Nagato gasped, taking a sharp breath.
Konan didn't answer—which was as good as confirmation.
"According to internal intel from the Umbrella Corporation, those two women are… quite the figures," Yahiko said in a low voice.
"Oh?" Nagato's expression shifted to one of intrigue.
"Kushina Uzumaki, wife of the Fourth Hokage, and Mikoto Uchiha, wife of the former Uchiha clan head."
"W-what? Them? How could Yuto possibly—"
"Rumors in the Umbrella Corporation suggest it's because the boss grew up an orphan, so he's got a thing for maternal figures."
"Ohhh, that explains it!" Nagato nodded sagely.
"Keep this between us. Don't spread it around," Yahiko said with a smirk. "Also, Iwa might hire us to stir up trouble during Konoha's Chunin Exams soon."
"Don't worry, I'll turn them down."
"No, don't refuse. Just jack up the price. We can use that money to rebuild Amegakure!"
*Land of Waves, Main Office*
Yuto, Mikoto, and Kushina were all staring intently at a toy box on the desk, absorbed.
Inside the box, a thumb-sized foal (young horse) was relentlessly ramming into a wall, but no matter how hard it tried, the wall wouldn't budge.
The foal was none other than the Five-Tails, Kokuō.
And the box?
The Magical Funhouse—a reward from the system from some time ago.
The massive tailed beast had been reduced to an adorable little foal plushie, honestly it was kinda cute.
Click.
Yuto carefully extracted a wisp of tailed beast chakra from the Funhouse and fed it to the sapling on the windowsill. Instantly, the little plant grew noticeably greener and livelier.
"Wait, that actually works?" Kushina raised an eyebrow. "What is this thing? It can eat tailed beast chakra?"
"Oh, it does more than that." Yuto raised a finger, gathering spiritual pressure.
The sapling responded by stretching out its branches, wrapping itself snugly around his finger.
"Whoa, this thing's got personality," Kushina said, eyes wide. "That move was kinda… suggestive. You sure this won't turn into a plant girl or something?"
Rustle rustle.
Seemingly satisfied, the branches retracted from Yuto's finger.
"You really do see everything through that lens, don't you?" Mikoto sighed.
"I mean, it was suggestive! It wrapped around the brat's whole finger!" Kushina licked her lips. "Almost like it was—"
"Stop. Right there." Mikoto's face flushed as she made a time-out gesture.
This was the office, not home.
"Tsk tsk tsk! Mikoto-chan, you'll play that kind of game in front of your 'dear son,' but you still blush this easily?" Kushina teased.
"What kind of game? It was just a hug!"
"But you were thinking about it, weren't you?"
"I was not!"
"If you wanna spice things up, I get it. But denying it? That's just lame."
"Ugh, I'm not talking to you…"
Once again, Mikoto had lost the battle of wits. Her verbal skills just couldn't compete.
As usual, Yuto stayed out of their bickering, pulling up the Land of Waves' monthly financial report on his computer.
Good news: Revenue was up 50% from last month.
Bad news: The biggest earner wasn't the high-tech sector he'd bet on—it was Revitalization Pills.
"HAHAHAHA! The power of horny men strikes again!" Kushina doubled over laughing. "All that tech, all that 'internet' nonsense—none of it compares to a pill that keeps a man standing tall! Admit it, nothing's more important!"
"Well, at least we're having good profit margins" Mikoto offered reassuringly.
"Hey, maybe we should just pivot," Kushina said, eyes sparkling. "Scrap all that high-tech stuff and open a chain of adult shops! I bet they'd explode!"
"Adult shops? This world is actually cursed…" Yuto's eye twitched.
"Wait, this graph is spiking," Mikoto said, pointing at the screen. "I can't believe Kushina's "Magical Girl Madara" manga sold hundreds of thousands of copies! You might actually be a genius!"
"No, I agree with Yuto. This world is cursed!" Kushina groaned, facepalming. "I just drew that crap as a joke to troll people! How the hell did it sell so much?!"
What was she supposed to do now? She didn't want fame like this!
"Don't worry, sis" Yuto said, patting her shoulder. "I used a pen name for you. "Shinana". Cute, right?"
"Shina-what?"
"Na. Na."
"I'm gonna bite you to death."
Knock knock knock.
A sharp rap at the door.
"Come in."
"Leader, our deep-sea fleet got caught in a storm near the Land of Water," Rina said urgently as she entered. "We need to send a rescue team immediately."
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