Walking home alone, the adrenaline from the fight faded, leaving me feeling a little anticlimactic. I had a growing army of dark magical girls who would do anything for me, but I was still walking back to my crappy apartment, completely broke. Kinda pathetic.
"Hey, Gemgem," I said to the cold weight on my chest. "We need a war fund. Can you just, I don't know, magic up some cash? Or should I go shake down Kyoko for that scouting fee?"
The Gem's voice responded, sounding for the first time almost exasperated, like a master craftsman dealing with a dense but gifted apprentice.
"Your grasp of logistics is… baffling. You orchestrate the downfall of the city's most powerful hero, then fret about pocket money. Taking what is owed from Kyoko is the most efficient solution. She is profiting from the assets we provided. Demand your fee."
"Nah, you're no fun," I said, throwing myself on my bed once I got home. "That's boring. Besides, I owe her one for giving the girls a shot. How about this instead? Forget the cash. Can your 'nexus of power' turn some worthless paper into… five amusement park tickets?"
There was a long, drawn-out silence in my mind that felt remarkably like a sigh.
"You possess a burgeoning army of reality-warping super-soldiers and you wish to take them to a place with roller coasters and overpriced churros. This is not a course of action I would have calculated."
"However… the stated goal is 'team-bonding.' An amusement park is a highly stimulating environment where you can observe their dynamics under stress. Your bizarre request… has unforeseen tactical benefits. Fine."
I heard a soft thump on my bedside table. Lying there were five pristine, brightly-colored tickets to "Dreamland," the city's biggest amusement park. The date was for tomorrow.
"The resources have been provided," Gemgem stated. "Observe their interactions. Identify potential friction points. Assess their ability to function as a unit in a non-combat scenario. Do not simply go to ride the teacups, you fool."
"You know," I mused, picking up a ticket. "For a timeless cosmic power, you're starting to sound like a grumpy grandma who secretly cares." I smiled. "If you had a body, I'd give you a big hug."
A wave of pure, unadulterated revulsion flooded my mind. It was so potent it made me physically recoil, a psychic slap that left my thoughts ringing.
"Do. Not. Speak. To me. Of physical contact." The voice was dangerously quiet. "I am a timeless power. You are a sack of organs and fluids. The very thought is an abomination. If I had a 'body' as you so crudely put it, and you attempted such a violation, I would unmake you atom by atom. Your… sentiment is noted and summarily rejected."
"Focus on the mission. The tickets are a tool, not a gift."
The Gem fell silent, but a lingering sense of cold outrage remained. I had definitely found a new button to push.
Smirking to myself, I picked up my phone and sent a group text to my new team: Meet at Dreamland entrance, 9 AM tomorrow. Tickets are a gift from a grumpy grandma.
My phone immediately started buzzing with replies.
From: Dark Heart Princess 🖤
DREAMLAND?!?!? MASTER, YOU'RE THE BEST!!! 😭🎢 A date with you AND a team trip?! It's like a dream come true! I'll wear my cutest outfit! Can we ride the giant ferris wheel at sunset? 🥰🎡
From: Dark Ruby 💥
HELL YEAH! Dreamland! I'm gonna ride the Death Drop roller coaster until I puke! 🤮🤩 And who's the grumpy grandma? Is she a new magical girl? Can I fight her? See you at 9!
From: Homura
Understood. Dreamland. 9 AM. Thank you for the invitation, Master.
Aoi's reply came a few seconds after the others. It was characteristically measured, but with a new undertone.
From: Aoi Tanaka
I have received the message. An excellent choice for morale. I will be there. ...And Master? Please do not refer to your benefactor as a "grumpy grandma." It seems disrespectful.
I could practically feel the Gem's cold satisfaction at Aoi's defense of its honor. The plan was set. The stage for our "team-bonding" exercise was ready.
"Aoi's loyalty is noted," Gemgem's voice stated, the undercurrent of revulsion gone. "Your juvenile nickname is… tactically acceptable if it motivates them. Now rest. The mission begins tomorrow."