I was never interested in things. I had made a few things into my sphere because people kept asking about my bland being of being into nothing. But somehow, the way to seek the soul's eye tempted me, and slowly I did. I acted like I had interested into things.
That was some kind of tint about me, slowly. You see, yearning, betrayal, and heartbreak are more powerful than love and hate itself because it happens slowly, giving you space to put yourself into it. You store you into me, like the mirror—I let you see you in me—and one day I broke the mirror, and you found out I wasn't the mirror but someone who broke it. Yearning, betrayal, and heart stab happen like this.
I had quite a number of friends. I call them my known people. In college, people had asked me how I'd got this many. It was kinda unsettling and hyped my reputation. I just simply made them. If you wanted to have a lot of people around you, let me tell you what worked for me. I wasn't attractive or rich—I'm a normal being. Somehow, to be someone's favourite, you have to give your time—that is, Attention.
And surprisingly, I did. I did give my time, not because it seemed like a waste, but rather an investment. I let them bowl or hit the balls. At the start, the conversation was about their favourite book and about their life, and with time, they told me about themselves and sorrow. I found it amusing to know someone's life. I hated gossip, and I never did that. I never cut their sentences by raising my voice or controversy opinions. For these reasons, they told me they could trust me. Even though I could've used them for my own thirst, I never did.
You have to tell them to speak, or you have to know what to speak. That's how easy it is to grab someone's attention. I met people who are extroverted—I just smiled and nodded with curiosity (I acted) and a few times I met their eyes and accepted their opinions about things that never mattered to me or I never knew.
With people who are introverted—as far as I knew, a lot of people are extroverted—the ones you call introvert feel heaven with someone who knows them. Here's a very careful tip: it's hard holding the ropes of a fragile heart. Introverts aren't tough to play—they just seem fragile—that I need to carry them safe. I stared a few times and asked a few questions to know their interest space. If they interested me, I'd research their topic to speak. Here's another tip: you don't actually need to know everything about every one of them. It's just—you have to take efforts.
It's like, if someone likes something about bikes and I knew nothing of it, but later that night I told them I had researched that for them because they love to talk about it—it sure does give a chance to fall into the spot. Most people want to be geniuses, but oh no—you just want to be wise.
I did that. I openly showed I cared because I wanted their attention, i wanted their eyes to look at me and I never looked at them because it made them feel genuine, especially when are sorrow I never looked but in happiness I was, it's simply i feel people never actually liked sharing a blue memory of them so if you see them it feel like they feed in a memory but happiness they wanted someone to know, so if I see your happiness you feel a sense of bond.
A few sustained in my life for a long time, still remembering I'd been there for them that night, helping them solve quantum mechanics or helping them draw the anatomy of the human body. You see—I never knew the equation or had drawing skills as a tact, yet they appreciated my tries because I stepped in for them—I took the effort. It's that easy for me to have this attention. And why did I need this attention even though I prefer my solitude?
Because I loved overthinking, which was unhealthy. And you see, when I didn't always invite them into my life—it took a reverse psychology. They became over-obsessed. When there's something free, you use it anyhow with no respect. But if I told you the price, you'll hold your breath to have it. And when I told them I can't come today, they expected me tomorrow. They respected my no, and this became a silent drug for me that I'll never addictive but crave silently without anyone's knowing.
This attention was a kind of pill that made my heart kind of ease. I realised I don't have to be someone jacked up, but someone who's really into magics. And I'm with hearts.