The Mistcloud Sect stood proudly on the edge of the Azure Sky Ridge, its towers piercing the clouds and its courtyards echoing with the sounds of cultivators training from dawn till dusk. It was the kind of sect where legends were born, where prodigies soared, and where one overly cheerful child was currently trying to bribe a spirit crane with cabbage dumplings.
"Come on, Mister Feathers. One nibble. Just one," Shen Yuan whispered, crouched behind a stone pillar.
The spirit crane white as snow and noble as a prince stared at him with all the disdain of a celestial being who'd once dated a phoenix and regretted it.
[New Objective: Form positive karma with a spirit beast]
[Reward: Beast Affinity (Minor)]
"Why are you like this?" Shen Yuan muttered to the system. "What happened to normal quests? Like 'learn a sword technique' or 'meditate in a cave'?"
[Reminder: The Host is not normal.]
He rolled his eyes. "Tell me something I don't know."
The crane pecked at the dumpling. Its eyes widened. Shen Yuan held his breath.
Then it pecked again. And again. Then let out a coo so delighted, it echoed through the whole garden like a chime.
[Quest complete. Affinity with Spirit Beasts increased.]
[Bonus Reward: Crane of Slightly Useful Favor]
"Does that mean it'll save me if I fall off a cliff?"
[No. But it might nudge you slightly in the right direction.]
Shen Yuan nodded solemnly. "Good enough."
---
Meanwhile, deep inside the Mistcloud Sect's inner hall, the elders were once again discussing something terribly important: Shen Yuan.
"Why is he in the kitchens?" asked Elder Mei, tapping her fan irritably. "He has spiritual roots. Weak, yes, but not nonexistent."
"He chose the kitchens," said Master Zhen, sipping tea with an amused glint in his eyes.
"Chose?" Elder Wu barked. "He cheated at the entrance exams. Made a paper talisman that burst into confetti! Then told the examiner it was 'performance art!'"
Master Zhen nodded. "Imaginative."
"Undisciplined," Wu growled.
"Creative," Zhen countered.
"Hopeless."
Zhen smiled. "Or… he might be exactly what this rigid sect needs."
Outside, Shen Yuan was using potatoes to sculpt a scale model of the sect grounds.
"Do you think the east wing needs more dramatic lighting?" he asked the soup pot.
The soup pot, as usual, said nothing.
---
Later that week, the Mistcloud Sect announced its semi-annual Beginner's Trial, a sacred tradition where new disciples attempted to not die in the Spirit Beast Forest.
Every outer disciple, regardless of background, had to go through it.
Shen Yuan, still technically a kitchen worker, was not on the list.
So naturally, he signed himself up.
"Are you insane?" shouted Ping Mei, a short girl from the herb garden who had adopted Shen Yuan as her honorary little brother.
He waved a spoon. "The system wants me to. Besides, I've been practicing cultivation."
"You've been practicing soup."
"Soup is the essence of qi, my dear Ping."
She smacked him with a lotus leaf.
---
On the day of the trial, Shen Yuan stood at the edge of the forest with two bamboo sticks strapped to his back, a satchel of emergency snacks, and what looked suspiciously like a pot lid for a shield.
The other disciples wore robes laced with defensive formations and gripped swords forged in spiritual flames.
"Who let the kitchen boy in?" someone snorted.
"Probably got lost on his way to the pantry."
Shen Yuan smiled brightly at them. "I've been preparing for this moment all my life."
"You were born eight years ago."
"I've lived a full eight years."
The sect instructor sighed. "Disciples, into the forest. You have three days to retrieve a spirit herb or beast core. Survive, and you pass."
The forest loomed.
"Great," Shen Yuan muttered. "I didn't even bring bug spray."
---
The Spirit Beast Forest was alive with rustling leaves, shrieking monkeys, and suspiciously adorable creatures that definitely wanted to kill you.
Shen Yuan wandered through the underbrush humming a song called 'Please Let Me Survive' and poking things with a stick.
[New Quest: Survive three days in the forest]
[Hidden Objective Unlocked: Find the Laughing Orchid]
[Warning: It is heavily guarded by a rank-two Vine Panther]
"Why is it always panthers?"
[System Note: Host has unusual magnetic affinity to cat-shaped disasters.]
"Wonderful."
Hours passed. Shen Yuan climbed a tree to avoid a pack of rabid rabbits, used his pot lid to deflect poisonous bird poop, and accidentally discovered that throwing fermented tofu at spirit beetles made them flee.
He took notes in a tiny notebook labeled 'Jade Wisdoms of Survival (Kitchen Edition)'.
Night came. He built a campfire by sheer dumb luck and began roasting wild mushrooms over the flames.
[System Warning: Those mushrooms may induce visions.]
"I already hallucinate hope. What's the worst that could happen?"
---
Somewhere deep in the forest, a real cultivator was being stalked by a Vine Panther. Claws like sickles, fangs like sabers it was the nightmare of many a novice disciple.
And Shen Yuan?
He had stumbled directly into the panther's den looking for firewood.
"Oh. Kitty."
The panther blinked.
Shen Yuan pulled out the rubber chicken.
[Item Activated: The Fowl of Confounding Squawks]
He squeezed it. It squeaked.
The panther stared. Shen Yuan squeezed again.
The panther's ears twitched. Confusion entered its soul.
Then he threw it.
The chicken hit a tree, bounced, and unleashed a sound so disturbing that a nearby hawk fell from the sky in fright.
The Vine Panther backed away slowly, eyes wide.
Shen Yuan used the opportunity to dive past it and somehow grab the Laughing Orchid from its nest of moss and bones.
Then he ran. And screamed. And ran more.
Behind him, the panther gave a confused whimper and wandered off to rethink its entire existence.
---
Three days later, as the trial ended, the sect disciples returned one by one. Many were bruised. A few were unconscious. Some had lost their swords to particularly aggressive squirrels.
Shen Yuan walked in carrying a flower, a notebook, and a small wooden sign that read 'Panthers Fear Me.'
Master Zhen raised a brow. "You passed."
"I didn't even break a sweat," Shen Yuan said proudly—then collapsed face-first into the dirt.
---
Back in the inner sanctum, the elders reviewed his results.
"He somehow obtained the Laughing Orchid. Without serious injury," Elder Mei murmured.
"He also made a Vine Panther flee. No one saw how," Elder Wu said, squinting at the chicken in the report.
Master Zhen chuckled. "He's cultivating in his own way."
"His own way is ridiculous," Wu snapped. "We must put him under formal training!"
But Zhen smiled. "Let him grow a little longer. Sometimes, the oddest roots produce the rarest trees."
---
That night, Shen Yuan lay in his cot, staring at the stars through the hole in the ceiling.
[Quest Complete: Beginner's Trial]
[Reward: Access to System Shop unlocked]
[New Feature: Random Daily Loot Box (Contains mild chaos)]
He grinned.
"System… I have a feeling this life's going to be fun."
Outside, the spirit crane left a dumpling on his windowsill.