Morning broke with a gentle breeze, birdsong in the distance, and a faint crackling sound from Shen Yuan's blanket as residual lightning clung to him like static cling from the spiritual heavens.
"System," he mumbled, hair puffed in all directions, "am I the first cultivator to wake up with frizz instead of enlightenment?"
[Technically, yes. Congratulations.]
Zap-Chan chirped proudly from atop his pillow nest. A faint spark jumped from its beak onto Shen Yuan's nose.
He yelped, then sat up, eyes still bleary but brain finally catching up.
"The scroll. The haunted scroll."
He looked toward his bedside, where the 'Scroll of the Laughing Heavens' still sat glowing faintly. Despite the system's earlier warning, he hadn't dared to open it yet. Mainly because it pulsed ominously every time he got close.
[Scroll Analysis Complete.]
[Item Class: Heaven-Tier (Sealed)]
[Contents: Unknown]
[Curse Level: Unstable - fluctuates between 30% and 97%.]
[Recommendation: Do not open unless under controlled conditions. Or drunk.]
Shen Yuan raised a brow. "You can recommend drunken cultivation now?"
[Only in emergencies.]
He sighed, stretched, and stood.
"I'll leave you alone for now, mysterious doom-scroll. I have breakfast to cook and life-threatening training to half-heartedly attempt."
---
The Mistcloud Sect kitchens were alive with activity. Shen Yuan stirred porridge in one pot, flipped spiritual egg dumplings in another, and tested out a new recipe he'd invented after being struck by lightning.
"Zap-Chan's Thunder-Fried Noodles," he announced proudly, plating them with excessive flourish.
Ping Mei entered, pinching her nose. "Why does it smell like burnt sky?"
"It's infused with low-level lightning qi. Stimulates digestion and temporary clairvoyance. Maybe."
She took a cautious bite, paused, blinked three times, then said, "I just saw a vision of you being slapped by a duck."
Shen Yuan nodded. "That checks out."
---
After breakfast, he returned to the outer courtyard to resume his cultivation routine.
As usual, his style was… unconventional.
Where other disciples meditated silently beneath waterfalls, Shen Yuan laid on a picnic mat feeding spirit bread crumbs to birds while chanting half-finished cultivation rhymes he made up on the spot.
"Flow like a river, rise like the moon, gather my qi before lunchtime soon…"
[Qi Condensation Progress: 87%]
[Proficiency with Laughing Orchid Qi Path: Stable]
[New Passive Developing: Humor-Fueled Focus]
"System… is that real?"
[Yes. Your spiritual roots seem to respond positively to emotional resonance. Joy amplifies flow.]
"So I really am powered by dumb jokes."
[More or less.]
Shen Yuan beamed.
"I'm never going to be taken seriously, am I?"
[Correct.]
He laughed and sat up straight. "Then let's aim for cultivation greatness... by being absolutely ridiculous."
He began channeling qi through his meridians, visualizing joy, success, and possibly free noodles. His dantian swirled brighter than before, his spiritual sea calm but energized.
Then, Ping Mei came sprinting into the courtyard.
"Shen Yuan! Elders! There's a problem!"
He blinked, qi flow flickering. "Unless the problem is a sudden dumpling shortage, I'm on break."
"No, listen! It's that scroll you brought back. It's started leaking."
"…Leaking? Like, information?"
"No. Laughter."
Shen Yuan blinked. "What?"
She grabbed his arm. "It's laughing, Shen Yuan. And everything around it is… changing."
---
Back in his room, the scroll sat floating three inches above the floor, emitting an eerie, high-pitched giggle that fluctuated between maniacal and… vaguely whimsical.
Zap-Chan was hiding behind the water pot. The ceiling above the scroll had turned pink, and several objects nearby had started… twitching.
[System Alert: Scroll has begun spiritual reaction.]
[Presence Detected: Ancient Sentience Awakening]
Shen Yuan carefully stepped closer.
"What kind of sentience are we talking here?"
[Data uncertain. But… it seems curious.]
As if on cue, the scroll spun once in the air, then unraveled slightly. Symbols danced across its surface like drunken fireflies. A strange wind blew through the room, though no windows were open.
Suddenly, a soft voice echoed within the walls.
"Who… disturbs the jest eternal?"
Shen Yuan blinked. "Uh. Hi. Shen Yuan. Kitchen disciple. Halfway decent at rice. You?"
"The last heir of the Laughing Heaven Lineage… has fallen. But the spirit remains."
A faint silhouette formed in the air above the scroll robed in white, face concealed by an ethereal mask etched with a permanent grin.
Zap-Chan zapped the wall.
[Warning: Entity Manifesting – Spiritual Hologram Only. No threat detected.]
[Yet.]
The figure hovered closer, gaze piercing. "You carry joy in your core… yet the world around you is built on grim cultivation paths and dead masters in cold caves."
Shen Yuan cleared his throat. "Well, I like warm dumplings and friends who don't explode."
The specter was silent for a moment.
Then it let out a wheezing laugh.
Not malicious. Not dark.
Just… amused.
"You are either a fool, or exactly what is needed," it said. "So I leave you this gift."
A golden rune floated from the scroll glowing, humming, pulsing with power.
[System Alert: Laughing Heavens Cultivation Method – Fragment 1 Obtained.]
[Style: Emotional Qi Flow. Power increases in response to laughter, joy, and absurdity.]
[WARNING: Path is unstable, unrecognized by orthodox sects.]
Shen Yuan reached for it but the silhouette suddenly looked toward the door.
Its tone shifted.
"They found you too soon."
The scroll slammed shut. The wind died.
At that exact moment, the door to Shen Yuan's room burst open.
Elder Wu stormed in with three other robed figures, all radiating formal authority and spiritual pressure like a stormcloud of bad moods.
"You!" Wu bellowed. "You dared to tamper with sealed legacy materials?!"
Shen Yuan stood slowly, the golden rune still floating over his hand.
"I can explain."
"You'll explain before the sect council," one of the other elders snapped. "Or you'll be expelled."
The rune trembled in his palm. The scroll rattled ominously.
Then the system chimed again urgently this time.
[Emergency Quest: Survive Sect Disciplinary Trial]
[Optional Objective: Don't get expelled.]
[Time Limit: Two Days]
The scroll lit up for the briefest second, just enough for Shen Yuan to catch one more glimpse of the grinning mask.
And in his mind, the last echo of the specter's voice whispered:
"If you can make them laugh, you can make them listen… but if you fail… you'll die like the last one."