After leaving the scene of the fight, they followed the dirt path weaving through the forest.
"By the way, miss, what's your name?" Nemo asked casually.
"My name is Su Ling Ling Bing Bing," she looked up and replied sweetly.
"What the fuck," he muttered. "Wait, Su Ping Ding, what?.... Thing's name?" He was completely thrown off by that name. Scratching his head, he asked, "Sorry, could you say that again?"
The girl giggled. "You can just call me Jade."
Her name's Jade and she's a beauty. Could she be the legendary… the jade beauty?
"Oh! How silly of me," Jade said, eyes widening. "I never asked for my benefactor's name yet."
"I'm Nemo. Nemo Dorkin."
"Sir Nemo, what were you doing in the forest all alone?" she asked.
He couldn't exactly say, Oh I got isekai'd here after getting trucked at an arcade. So he pulled out a classic line.
"A fortune teller once told me I'd meet the most beautiful woman in the world in this forest. I wandered for months, and just when I was ready to give up on that crazy old hag's prophecy… I found you."
Jade's cheeks flushed crimson. She dipped her head, flustered.
Hell yeah, that was too easy. This one's already in the bag, Nemo thought smugly.
"So, my Jade Beauty," he said with a smirk, "what were you doing out here?"
"I belong to a trading family, the Jade Silk Pavilion. My mother sent me to finalize a deal in Meishan City. We got delayed, and fearing that my mother would be worried… we took a shortcut through the woods." Her voice dropped. "You know the rest."
They chatted as they walked, keeping a good pace.
Grrrrrrr
Nemo's ears perked. He looked at Jade. Her face was red again.
"Someone's hungry," he teased.
She looked away in embarrassment.
He reached into his bag and offered her a handful of berries he'd stashed earlier. She accepted them quietly, nibbling with faint gratitude.
An hour passed. The forest thinned slightly, and the road curved gently downward.
"How much longer to Qingfen?" Nemo asked.
"Maybe thirty minutes at this pace."
Grrrrrrrgggh!
That was louder. Nemo turned to her. "Still hungry?"
"I… I have to go," she whispered. Her face was tomato red now. She was rubbing her thighs together awkwardly.
"Go where?"
"My stomach… hurts. I have to… go. Like, bathroom… go," she said, shifting awkwardly.
Nemo glanced around and pointed. "There's a bush over there. Go ahead. I won't peek. I promise."
But she didn't move. She just looked at him with big puppy eyes.
"What?" he said. "Don't tell me you want me to come with you?"
"No! It's not that…"
"Then what?"
"I… I don't know how to… wipe," she murmured, almost in tears.
Nemo blinked. "You what?"
"My maid usually does it for me…" she admitted.
"Where's your maid now?"
"She… hit her head in the carriage and… died during the ambush."
"No way. No fucking way. Don't tell me you want me to—"
Jade shook her head frantically. "Please… I can't hold it."
He groaned internally. Goddammit. Why'd I give her those damn berries?
Nemo looked around, searching for divine intervention.
There was none.
This girl is my only ticket out of this area, he thought.
"Fuck. Looks like I have to get my hands dirty."
"Alright, let's go," he sighed. "I'll… help."
As they started walking toward the bush, a thundering of hooves cut through the quiet. A dozen horsemen galloped into view, led by a striking woman in elegant, dark armor. She had sharp features, long raven hair tied in a high tail, and eyes that radiated command.
"Mother!" Jade cried out.
The woman's expression softened. She dismounted in a swift, practiced motion and pulled Jade into a tight hug.
"My baby. You're safe," she whispered. "I was so worried."
"I'm alright. Nemo saved me," Jade said, pointing at him before whispering something quickly into her mother's ear.
The woman's eyes flicked toward Nemo, then she nodded.
"Dorian. Watch over him."
A towering hulk stepped forward, shirtless, with rippling muscles that gleamed under the sun, and a long goatee that he stroked like a villainous sage.
"Yes, my lady," he said, flexing one massive bicep as he stroked his beard with the other.
My eyes, my eyes! Nemo shouted inwardly, feeling his eyes burning at seeing such a buff guy stroking his goatee.
Dorian walked up to Nemo. "Thank you for saving the little princess. Accept my gratitude," he said as he struck a victory pose.
Nemo blinked. "Uh, sure. No problem. Really."
"Wait!" Dorian declared. "One thank you is not enough! Accept… another one!" He struck a Most Muscular pose, veins bulging as he flexed both arms.
This guy's got a few screws loose, Nemo thought.
Jade and her mother, meanwhile, beckoned a few maids to follow them into the woods. The "emergency" situation was, at last, being handled.
They returned shortly after, Jade looking visibly more comfortable though still flustered. She started to speak, but her mother raised a hand.
"Wait until we return home."
"Yes, Mother," Jade replied obediently.
The group prepared to mount up. Jade climbed behind her mother on her horse. Nemo looked around awkwardly, unsure what to do, until he felt himself lifted clean off the ground by the straps of his bag.
Dorian grinned. "Come, hero!" he said, plopping Nemo onto the back of his horse like a sack of potatoes.
They rode off together, the forest thinning around them, the city of Qingfen on the horizon.