My name is Nemo. Nemo Dorkin.
And don't you dare say "Finding Nemo" or "Dork Nemo."
I'll bust your nut and no, that's not an empty threat.
I'm a slingshot expert, bitch.
Say shit to me and your next seven generations will regret it.
I just turned eighteen last month. My life so far had been a damn rollercoaster.
Bullied like crazy in school... until I discovered the art of sling-shooting.
And oh boy, did I become good.
Specialized in cracking nuts and I don't mean walnuts.
After that, no one messed with me. I became the plague people avoided me like I am the harbringer death.
And now?
Now I'm stuck in a freaking jungle.
---
Flashback Time
"I know, I know you're all wondring what happened?"
Well, here's a brief history:
I was heading home from the arcade, minding my business, crossing the street...
BAM!
Next thing I know, I'm flying through the air like a ragdoll, a portal appeared and when I crossed it, I was here in this godforsaken jungle.
Do you know how hard it is to survive in a jungle?
It's hell. Absolute hell.
Don't judge me. You think it's easy? Next time you're taking a dump, grab some leaves and try wiping with that. No matter how much you rub, you'll still feel... Wet and unfinished.
Stand up, and you'll want to sit back down and wipe it all over again.
Luckily, I had a survival guide PDF on my phone downloaded ages ago. Never read it.
But desperate times, right? I skimmed through it like my life depended on it. (Because it did.)
Since the two days have passed. I had to shut down my phone to save battery, there was no signal anyway.
And lastly, I have this weird-ass map in my mind.
About a 1-kilometer radius around me is always visible, the rest is greyed out.
When I explore an area, the grey area lights up.
In 2 days, I've unlocked about 5 km in eastren direction.
There's a busted road on the eastern edge. I waited there, hoping for someone to pass. Nothing. It's probably abandoned.
But today, something new happened.
A glowing mark appeared on my mental map on the road. With a countdown timer underneath it.
So I went.
The timer hit zero before I arrived, but I kept going, hoping whatever it was might still be there.
Then I heard it metal clashing.
A fight?
I reached for my trusty Scout Ultra Pro Max Slingshot from my bag.
Loaded some metal ammo, the kind I never used unless things got serious.
Creeping forward, I picked up a few stones too, just in case.
As I got closer, the sounds started fading.
Poking my head through the bushes, I saw a man on his knees, clutching his neck.
Blood gushed out.
Then he collapsed, dead.
I froze.
First time seeing someone die like that in real life.
Six other bodies lay around, near a horse-drawn carriage, its horses already dead.
One man still stood, panting like a dog.
He turned toward the carriage and yelled:
"Get out, bitch!"
No reply.
Frustrated, he marched up and yanked open the carriage door.
Suddenly, a hand shot out, dagger aimed at his throat.
But the guy was fast. He dodged, grabbed the arm, and threw the girl to the ground.
She was stupidly pretty like, "definitely not from my world" pretty. Silky black hair tumbled down her back, half undone from the scuffle, framing a face that looked carved by someone who definitely knew what they were doing. Big, stormy eyes with long lashes, a sharp nose, and lips that looked like they belonged in some ancient painting.
---
"Damn bitch, So many of my good men died 'cause of you," he spat.
The girl, desperate, tried to slit her own throat, but he knocked the blade away.
"Trying to off yourself? Not on my watch."
She glared.
"Do you even know who I am?" she shouted.
He snorted.
"I don't give a damn. My brothers saw how sexy you were and wanted some fun. Who fucking knew your guards were so loyal. Now my brothers are dead, I'll enjoy you in their place."
He pulled down his pants.
His sad excuse for a member stood at attention.
---
"...Fuck."
That was the moment I knew: I'm in a cultivation world.
Only in these dumb worlds are villains this horny and this stupid.
But hey, the bastard had the balls to put his, well, balls on display.
And if there's one thing I do well...
I aimed.
I fired.
Direct hit.
The guy's scream echoed through the forest, birds scattered, animals ran.
While he writhed in agony, the girl picked up her knife and stabbed his throat clean through.
Damn, She wasn't the helpless maiden I thought.
---
I stepped out of the bushes.
"Not to be weird, but... what are your pronouns?" I asked.
She blinked at me in total confusion.
"I mean, Miss... are you okay?" I asked as I offered her my hand.
Taking my hand she stood up.
I looked around at the massacre. My stomach churned, but I held it down.
Guess bingeing those gory movies paid off.
"Why did you help me?" she asked.
"Why wouldn't I? I couldn't let a beautiful, gentle, charming young lady be assaulted by trash."
She blushed and yanked her hand back.
"Sis, look at the bodies around us first. Why are you getting flustered already? And I haven't even used my premium flirting skills yet," I thought.
"Miss, we should go. The smell of blood might attract beasts. Do you know the way back to your home?"
She nodded, and together, we left the scene.