Chapter 28 - Mating vs Breeding
Blood. My claws drew it. Wrong. But he wasn't Kai. I knew it. I smelled it.
Kai's scent is firewood and rain—sharp when he's ready for battle, soft when he drifts to sleep. This one smelled close, so close, but soured. A rot under the sweetness. Like meat gone bad. My body answered anyway—heat sparking low, the ache of wanting. Instinct betrayed me. But my soul recoiled.
The kiss—too heavy, tongue too desperate. Kai kisses like he owns me, but with patience. He drinks me in, savoring. This one devoured like a starving mutt. The thrust of his hips—hard, clumsy, all need, no rhythm. Kai moves with rhythm, even when he's rough. His body knows mine. This one… didn't.
I should've torn his throat then. Ripped and shredded until nothing was left. But the child. Our child. His gift inside me, fluttering. I can't risk it. Even if my claws itch to shred, even if my jaws drip with the need to crush bone—I must curl around the spark instead. Protect. Always protect.
And yet—my body shivered under him. Heat. Wrong heat. Shame gnawed me raw. I wanted to scrape my skin clean, but I knew it wouldn't matter. He had touched me. Worse—I had felt something.
Not Kai. Never Kai.
A sharp pain tore through my stomach. I doubled over, bile rising. New. Wrong. Scary. My instincts screamed—protect the spark, protect the spark.
I don't get it! Kai, please—
My mind scattered. Mating felt good. With Kai. I liked it. Loved it. Craved it. Want it. Need it. From him. From only him.
But this pain? From mating? No… no, I don't understand!
He once asked me how I felt about being a mother. I had no thoughts. Still don't. I only want his warmth inside me, spreading, filling, making my chest soar. Every time higher, every time better. I love it.
So why? Why this?
Because of him? Because of Kai?
No. No. I won't let my mind go there. Not Kai's fault.
"Nyla's fault. Mine!" I snarled through gritted teeth. The pain was getting worse, clawing up my spine.
Yuki was next to me now. Her mask gone, the cold melted off her face.
"Dammit." Her voice cracked like ice. "I shouldn't have let him leave."
"…why?" I gasped, chest heaving. "It wasn't Master, so it's fine."
"No. You're not wrong. But you're not right either." Yuki's mana bled into me, cool waves trying to soothe the fire clawing through my belly.
"What?" I barked, harsher than I meant.
"His mind is changed, but the body…" Shyara's voice slid in, flat, quiet. "That's still Kai."
My heart sank. The pain swelled. Not again. Blood filled my nose—his blood—still sticky on my claws.
I puked.
Once again, I had spilled my Master's blood. I hadn't meant to. Never meant to.
I looked at Yuki, desperate, my throat choking on apology. She didn't speak, but I felt it—her understanding. She didn't blame me. Not this time. Small comfort, but not enough. The guilt dug deeper than the pain.
"What now?" I rasped.
"We pursue!" Shyara snapped, eyes wild.
"We stay. And get you better." Yuki's words were sharp, firm as stone.
Both answers slammed together.
"What!?" Shyara's confusion twisted into rage. "We can't just let Kai's body go. That's fucking idiotic." Her claws flexed like she'd tear through the cave wall if no one moved.
"But Kai would prioritize our safety," Yuki fired back. "Nyla can't defend the cave like this. There are lives here we have to protect."
"Who the fuck cares? None of that is more important than Kai!"
Yuki froze. The words hit her like claws to the chest. She couldn't argue. None of us could.
After a moment, she forced the words out. "Even still, we stay. We trust Kai to return."
"No. I won't. I can't." Shyara trembled. Her voice cracked, but her eyes burned. "I can't wait. I have to go."
"Shyara—" Yuki started.
"No! I can't! I need him!" Shyara screamed, voice shaking, desperate.
"We all need him!" Yuki roared back, her tone colder than steel. "But you have to be reasonable—"
"You don't get it. I physically need him. To be near him. To feel his mind touch mine. I didn't realize until now but—" Her voice broke, tears streaking down her cheeks. "I can't take this emptiness. I… I… can't!"
She bolted. The sound of her feet fading into the dark. Gone.
I hated to admit it, but I understood. A part of me was dying too. Kai might be gone. Maybe forever.
No. No. I won't think that. Even if it's true.
If it is… I'll survive. I'll nurture his seed. Raise the child in tribute to him. It will be my life's honor.
My hand pressed to my belly. A bump. Small, but real. My heart stuttered. Love crashed over me—wild, unbreakable—for a life I hadn't seen. For his life inside me. My passion for Kai roared higher, burning the pain away.
I wasn't fit for battle. Not for chase. But for this much—I'd endure. So please, Master. Come back to me.
A pulse fluttered inside me. Right. Not just to me. To us.
Yuki's gaze met mine. Her face unreadable, but her emotions pressed heavy. Envy. Sadness. Defeat. But also loyalty.
I understood. No being could love Master like me. But Yuki came close. Too close. A rival female, in love. She wanted proof, the same as me. If Mate was gone… she would never have it.
The thought was bitter. Sweet. Painful.
I don't get feelings. Not unless they're about Master. I don't understand them. But this much—I know.
Master… come home.
Even if it's the other you. Just—please come back.
⸻
Shyara POV
The Wildreach pressed in around me, the air thick with moss and damp earth. My lungs burned, but I kept running. Branches whipped my cheeks, tearing at my skin, but I didn't slow down. His scent lingered in the air—Kai's, and not Kai's. It clung like smoke, familiar yet wrong. My heart screamed faster, but my mind couldn't justify why.
I wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to be one of those silly girls from Kai's memories, chasing after some guy like I couldn't breathe without him. But here I was, sprinting through the Wildreach like prey with its throat already in the wolf's jaws.
It was pathetic. Worse, it was ironic. I'd laughed at those girls in his head, the way they gave up everything for one man. I'd called them weak. And now? My eyes burned. My chest felt hollow. Each step reminded me I was empty—he was gone, and I couldn't stand it.
Minutes. He'd been gone minutes. Not years. Not decades. And yet I was falling apart like my soul had been split in half.
I tried to smirk through the ache. "Look at me, making wisecracks in the middle of a breakdown. Kai would be proud."
The words came out cracked, my throat raw. Tears blurred my vision. Even the jokes reminded me of him, the way he'd twist pain into humor. Every thought, every movement, tied back to him. And this body, this twisted Damian, was the only link I had left.
So I kept running. Not because I believed I could bring him back. But because I couldn't stand the silence.
I found him in a clearing. Moonlight pooled across the earth, washing over two bodies entwined in motion. At first, I thought I'd stumbled on some feral beast with its prey. Then my eyes adjusted. My stomach lurched.
Damian. His back arched, muscles taut, face slick with sweat. His voice was ragged, guttural, words tumbling from his mouth between snarls. Beneath him was no elf, no wolf, no humanoid woman at all. It was a feline beast. Humanoid enough to mimic shape—long limbs, clawed hands, fur patterned like a snow leopard's—but its face was sharp-muzzled, eyes wide and wild.
He was mating with it.
I froze, breath locked in my chest. The sound was everywhere: wet, ragged, primal. The beast hissed and yowled, claws raking the dirt, but Damian held it pinned with bruising strength. His hips moved in relentless rhythm, each thrust shaking through him like a man possessed.
"No…" My whisper cracked. My knees threatened to buckle.
And yet, a twisted part of me wasn't surprised. Not even a little.
He wasn't Kai. Not really. Kai would never have… this. But Damian? Of course he would. He'd been born corrupted, his personality half-formed and starving. He didn't need love. He didn't crave bonds. He only wanted—the act. The skill. The creation.
And I… couldn't look away.
The feline's cries filled the night. Somewhere between agony and ecstasy. Damian laughed through his panting, low and cracked, like a man breaking and enjoying it. His eyes gleamed with a deranged light, and I realized with cold horror that he was falling into depravity stroke by stroke.
"Gaaaaahhh!" His shout tore through the clearing. "It's not the same! Hers was better!" His words lashed out, venom thrown into the air. "Her heat—her body—it was perfect! And you—" He slammed into the beast, harder, rougher, until its back arched. "You're just… sufficient!"
The feline's claws scored the earth. Damian grabbed its chin, forcing its muzzle up, spitting curses like broken glass.
"But I'll take sufficient. For now. Because I'll make better! I'll find my own! Make my own! I don't need her. Don't need them!" His voice cracked into a manic laugh. "Receive me, monster! Receive Damian with your whole being!"
Each thrust was a command, an experiment, a declaration. His pleasure wasn't about intimacy—it was about power. About creation. About proving he could do what Kai hadn't yet dared.
"Don't break!" he screamed, face twisted in ecstasy and rage. "Don't break! Break!!!"
The feline wailed, body shuddering under him, eyes rolling back. Damian threw his head back, teeth bared, reveling in the sound. The world shrank for him to this: flesh, heat, and the promise of new life clawing its way into existence.
And gods help me, I understood it.
I hated him. I hated every sound, every thrust, every word that spilled from his mouth. This wasn't Kai. This wasn't love. It wasn't loyalty. It was desecration.
But part of me was fascinated.
Because wasn't this what the world demanded? Ruthlessness? The willingness to create without hesitation, to spread his seed into every corner, consequences be damned? Kai understood the war we were in. But he still thought about balance. About ecosystems. About restraint. He wasn't ready to take that step.
Damian was.
Watching him, I realized he was everything I feared Kai might become. And yet, he was also everything Kai needed to become. Not the same man. Never the same. But maybe… the shadow that pushed him forward.
My hands trembled, nails digging into my palms. My breath hitched, somewhere between horror and hunger. I wanted to scream. I wanted to weep. I wanted to watch longer.
And Damian—he didn't notice me. Not even once. His world was the feline beneath him, the act of mating, the promise of whatever creation his corrupted Chosen skill would birth. For him, there was nothing else. No shame. No hesitation. Only pleasure. Pleasure of sex. Pleasure of creation. Pleasure of losing himself.
Tears streaked my cheeks as I finally staggered back into the shadows. My chest felt like it would cave in, torn between revulsion and some twisted pull.
This wasn't Kai.
But gods help me—some part of me wanted to see what came next.