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"Yeah, it's been about half a year since Yukinon's birthday, right?"
"It has, hasn't it? I haven't really had a chance to come this way, so it's been a while."
I finished ordering at the cafe Yukino-senpai had found for us, then nodded in agreement to Yui-senpai. The coffee shop we used to frequent in high school had apparently closed down a while ago. It really made me realize how much things have changed since I last came here.
"But I was happy. For you to reach out to me after so long."
When our drinks arrived, Yukino-senpai tilted her breathtakingly beautiful face slightly. Her hair, as lustrous as ever and making me envious, flowed elegantly.
"Yes. I'd been thinking it'd be nice to talk, just the three of us, after such a long time."
My words felt a little like an excuse, but I think I was the only one who felt that way. But it was true. I didn't want to consult about anything specific; I just wanted to talk. I was sure I'd gain something from fragments of conversation with Yukino-senpai and Yui-senpai. I trusted them both that much.
"Is that so? I was actually a little excited, wondering if it was a marriage announcement."
The sudden mention of "marriage" almost made me react. Seriously, Yui-senpai is so sharp, or maybe she just has a good nose for things; it sometimes surprises me.
"I wish it were that, though."
"Your tone is quite intriguing."
When I said that with a hint of playfulness, Yukino-senpai's eyes met mine. I suppose it's one approach to just honestly speak my mind when asked. But...
"No... Honestly, I wasn't sure if it was okay to bring up the keyword 'marriage' in front of both of you."
I still tend to be a bit too considerate about things like this. No matter how much they loved each other, they couldn't enter into a marital relationship in Japan right now. And I couldn't imagine they had no feelings about that.
"You've always been good at being considerate. Perhaps you could even say you worry too much."
When Yukino-senpai smiled and said that, Yui-senpai beside her offered a slightly bitter, ambiguous smile. Yui-senpai then looked out the window and spoke as if gazing into a distant future.
"I wonder if we'll just stay like this forever... until we're grandmas, forever."
Her voice held neither resignation nor disappointment, nor the color of a dream; it was colorless and transparent. I believe that's already a decided future in Yui-senpai's mind. Not an ideal or a fantasy, but a reality that is continuous with the present.
"We considered going abroad to have a same-sex marriage. But I couldn't be certain if it would be safer than Japan... You see, Yui is cute."
"Eh, if you say that, Yukinon, I'd be more worried about you!"
"I have some knowledge of Aikido, so I'll be fine."
"I-I see...?"
...Just when I was starting to get a bit sentimental, these two suddenly started flirting. I wish they'd do that at home!
"But Yukino-senpai, you actually thought about it that way?"
I said that, trying to get the conversation back on track, and Yukino-senpai nodded thoughtfully.
"Yes. But I stopped thinking about it so much once I realized that wanting to marry or wanting a bond... most of those feelings are just self-satisfaction."
"Oh, yeah... Well, you know, before, I saw a same-sex couple having a wedding on TV and I said, 'That's beautiful,' so you seriously thought about it because of that."
"It wasn't just your words, Yui. I had been considering it a little already."
The sight of Yukino-senpai and Yui-senpai engaged in such a conversation seemed incredibly radiant to me. Many circumstances differ between us and Yui-senpai and her partner. Our positions and environments are almost entirely different.
But... the desire for a bond is certainly there, and in its purity, there is no difference.
If that's the case.
How can I confidently say that what I desire isn't just self-satisfaction?
â--------
"I'm home~"
When I opened the living room door saying that, there was an unexpected sight.
"Oh, welcome back."
Senpai replied, wearing an apron, which was rare. He had a salon apron tied around his waist and was facing a pot with a recipe book in hand.
"Huh, are you by any chance making dinner, Senpai?"
"Yeah."
I approached and peeked into the pot; it seemed he was still boiling water, as bubbles had just started to form at the bottom. Then I looked at the book in his hand; the title read, in large letters, "Man's Italian Recipes."
"Did you know? Apparently, if left alone, men only make pasta or curry."
"Hey, stop that. That information hits hard for a guy who was just debating between curry and pasta."
I chuckled at his response and hugged Senpai from behind. In any case, he was cooking for me, so I thought it was something to be genuinely happy about.
"Did you have fun today?"
Senpai's voice, as he gently stroked the hand I had wrapped around his stomach, was simply kind. I nodded, rubbing my forehead against Senpai's back. What more could I possibly ask for? He does the housework and even prioritizes me after I've been out playing.
"It'll take a little longer until it's ready. And I can't move if you don't let go."
"Okay~"
At Senpai's words, I stopped hugging him and sat down on a chair at the dining table. I rested my chin on my hand, gazing at the happy scene. Vaguely, I thought.
"Senpai, you seem like you'd make a good husband."
âAnd before I knew it, I had said it out loud instead of just thinking it. Senpai seemed to freeze, and the next moment, there was a dull thud from the kitchen counter.
"Ouch..."
"Um, are you okay?"
"Ah..."
I couldn't see him from behind the counter, but it seemed Senpai had gotten flustered and bumped his leg. After crouching for a while, he went back to cooking.
Even if it was a slip of the tongue, what I said earlier was a bad move. It was like subtly hinting that I wanted him to think about marriage. Honestly, I didn't want to burden Senpai with that anymore. Because even now, I'm more than happy, and what's fundamentally missing between usâ
"â"
At that moment, his cell phone vibrated on the kitchen counter. Senpai picked up the phone, checked the screen, and then put it in his pocket without changing his expression.
Ahâ
The thing I didn't want to notice, the thing I pretended not to notice, was shown to me again.
"Iroha. Is it okay if I add chili?"
"Ah... Yes."
When Senpai acts uncharacteristically, praising me, sticking close to me, behaving like an ideal boyfriend. There's always a message on Senpai's phone from someone. Someone he can't tell me about.
Hey, Senpai.
Who is it that changed youâ?