The man I had my very first fight with—because of Chris—continued to message me on and off for years. It was almost consistent in its inconsistency. He'd get into a relationship, stop writing to me, and then poof—months later, I'd get a message again. Either he had broken up or had been left. That was the pattern. :)
In the past two years, his messages became less frequent, only showing up when he felt like it. Maybe I wasn't giving him any hope, so he never insisted. One day, while we were casually chatting, he told me he was coming to visit a city near mine. He said he wanted to finally meet the person he had been talking to all these years. It sounded reasonable.
At that moment, I was single. Alone. A little change wouldn't hurt, I thought. So I gave him my phone number.
How could I have known he'd turn out to be exactly like Chris?
Managing two or three people at once—what even is that?
Dear God, where am I going wrong? What sign did I miss?
I'm almost ready to give up.
Almost.
You thought I would, didn't you?
Love doesn't end. But one person always wounds you deeply and permanently.
The others?
They're just visitors—drop by, chat a little, and then leave. You never think of them again.
In my past, I've had maybe five or six relationships, but I don't think of any of them.
Except you.
Maybe I'm writing this book just to finally let you go.
You're etched so deep into my soul, I couldn't break free.
Now, pouring all my feelings out onto these pages—I feel lighter.
Maybe now, you'll stop visiting me in my dreams.
Maybe now, I'll finally set you free from me.