Location: Industrial Corridor near Dock 42 – 3:06 AM
Multiversal Instability: Still climbing. Like Rowan's meme account follower count.
The air in this part of the dock smelled like scorched steel and narrative tension.
I knelt beside a chunk of broken tech embedded in a wall—old SHIELD hardware, maybe Stark leftovers, maybe something weirder. Bucky kept watch at the corner, gun half-raised, ever the responsible murder-dad.
Then—
A shadow shifted. Boots on concrete. Two sets. Then four.
"Oi," a voice grunted behind me. "You Skywalker?"
I turned.
And froze.
Black coat. Beard. Smirk like a wolf that just bit a cop.
Billy Butcher.
Behind him: MM, Frenchie, Hughie, and Kimiko. Fully geared. Fully dangerous. Fully… confused, honestly.
[System Alert – Encounter: Billy Butcher]
Alignment: Chaotic Antihero
Disposition: Suspicious but intrigued
Notes: Will not hesitate to shoot you and make fun of your haircut
"Uh… yeah?" I said. "Rowan Skywalker. Chaos gremlin. Memelord. Multiversal problem child."
Butcher narrowed his eyes. "The hell's a Skywalker doing tied up with SHIELD, Force magic, and that blonde clone lass what looks ready to stab half the bloody East Coast?"
I tilted my head. "...Are you following me, or her?"
"Yes," MM muttered.
Butcher stepped forward, hands behind his back. "We're lookin' for a cape with a god complex and laser eyes. Tall, blonde, smiles like a televangelist who eats children."
"Homelander," I muttered.
"So you do know 'im."
"I memed him into this world."
Everyone stared.
Hughie blinked. "I'm sorry, what?"
I shrugged. "Listen. You start with a little Force-powered sarcasm. You photoshop Scott Summers drinking milk. You overlay that with the 'Homelander smile' meme. Next thing you know, the multiverse tears open and actual Homelander shows up to flex on reality."
Butcher grunted. "You're takin' the piss."
"Nope," I said, popping the 'p.' "I'm just the narrative's favorite screw-up with protagonist privilege."
Kimiko signed something to Frenchie.
He translated: "She says you have 'main character energy' and she hates it."
"Valid."
[New Ally(?) Added – Billy Butcher and The Boys]
Temporary Objective: Avoid Homelander.
Bonus Objective: Don't die when Scott inevitably makes things worse.
That's when the rumble hit.
The sound of jet propulsion and optic blasts colliding midair.
We all turned toward the skyline.
"Oh no," I whispered. "He didn't."
Cut to: Midtown Rooftops – 3:14 AM
Scott Summers landed with the subtlety of a freight train. He was already yelling.
"This is YOUR fault!"
Homelander blinked at him. "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm the guy sick of being called Homelander on every meme account in the country!"
Scott raised his visor and let an optic blast rip.
It hit.
Homelander didn't budge.
His smile widened.
"Oh," he said softly. "You must be the discount Superman."
Then he moved.
Back on the ground, I facepalmed.
"Yup. There he goes. Scott just punched a dimensional nuke because the internet made fun of him."
Bucky sighed. "Do we help him?"
Butcher: "Do we look like we help laser-eyed narcissists?"
Ned (calling me on the burner phone): "Dude, did Scott just start a war with actual Homelander?!"
Me: "Yup. And I still haven't had breakfast."
[Multiversal Chaos Level: 93%]
Consequence: Citywide engagement predicted
Status: You are no longer flying under the radar
Note: Homelander has noticed you
I looked up at the distant rooftop, just in time to feel it.
Homelander turned—locked eyes with me across the skyline.
He smiled.
Then he whispered:
"You."
Scott Summers hit Homelander with everything.
Optic blasts. Screamed accusations. A long-winded rant about respect.
Homelander didn't move.
Then he blinked.
And Scott flew backward, crashing through three buildings, a billboard that read "Got Milk?" (poetic), and a school bus full of confused band kids on a late-night competition trip.
[System Notification – Meme Karma Delivered]
"Scott Summers has left the server."
Status: Respawning in 3… 2… trauma
I stared at the impact cloud from the rooftop beside Butcher.
He chuckled. "That was satisfying."
Even Bucky cracked a smile.
"Told him not to take it personally," I muttered. "Homelander's just my visual metaphor for Scott's ego."
And then the sky ripped open again.
Because why have one unkillable flying lunatic when you can have three.
Multiversal Breach – Above Times Square
03:21 AM
The rift exploded open like a blood vessel in the cosmos.
Two figures shot through.
One wore a red-and-yellow suit. Bleeding. Furious. Eyes wide like he knew this wasn't going to be a casual visit.
The other was his dad.
Omni-Man.
Beard bloodied. Cape torn.
Smiling.
[Multiversal Instability – CRITICAL]
Incoming Entities:
– Nolan Grayson (Omni-Man)
– Mark Grayson (Invincible)
Universe of Origin: Viltrumite-93A
Alignment: Hostile (Pending)
Threat Level: Planetary
Rowan's Chance of Survival: 2.7% (rounded up generously)
"...Oh, bollocks," Butcher muttered, suddenly not smiling.
"Who are they?" Bucky asked.
"Multiversal dad and lad duo with a talent for genocide and deeply unresolved issues," I said. "Think Goku and Gohan, if Goku had a God complex and less chill."
Omni-Man surveyed the skyline.
Homelander turned toward him mid-hover.
They locked eyes.
Somewhere in the distance, a dog barked. And then immediately shut up.
Because even dogs knew what was coming.
Mark—Invincible—hovered shakily beside his dad. "Dad, this isn't Earth."
Nolan sniffed the air. "Doesn't matter. Still smells like weakness."
He turned to Homelander.
"You. You look like me. But softer."
Homelander grinned. "I'm the superior species."
Omni-Man cracked his neck.
"So am I."
[Narrative Collision Detected]
Title: "Cape-on-Cape Violence Incoming"
Side Note: You should really get out of here.
Rowan: "Okay, cool, great—two reality-warping sociopaths about to test who's got the bigger dad trauma. I'm gonna just…"
The Force whispered in my ear:
"This isn't your first life. You've been here before."
"Shut UP, you cosmic gaslighting sponge."
"You failed last time, too."
"WHO EVEN ARE YOU, YODA'S DRUNK COUSIN!?"
[Trait Unlocked – Gamer's Mind: Passive Emotional Immunity Activated]
Side Effect: Fourth wall shattered.
Commentary mode: ON.
Rowan: Now running on full Deadpool/Billy Butcher energy.
Behind me, Anastasia landed like a ninja cheerleader.
She blinked at the chaos. "Oh. You summoned more daddies."
"Stop saying that," I groaned.
"But I thought—"
"Nope."
"But what if—"
"NOPE."
[Force Pulse Detected – Omega-Level Surge Imminent]
Reality forecast:
– 99% chance of superpowered civil war
– 1% chance someone hugs it out (unlikely)
Player Recommendation: Do something stupid but cinematic.
I stood up.
Summoned the Force into my hands.
And shouted:
"EXCELSIOR, YOU MULTIVERSAL NERDS!"