Leon was a professional. He didn't crack a smile easily—unless…
"Pfft."
He couldn't help it.
"Sorry, sorry, go on."
Leon forced his face into a serious expression, trying to rein it in.
"Laughing? You think this is funny? What's so funny? Have you no empathy at all? I'm a wizard! A wizard! My magic's failing me! My wand's useless! Am I even a wizard anymore? And you, a fellow wizard, don't even sympathize—you just laugh!"
Lockhart was unraveling, shouting at the top of his lungs.
Leon realized he might've misjudged the man. Lockhart was genuinely talking about his magic, his wand—nothing metaphorical or symbolic here.
Whoops. Someone's mind was in the gutter, twisting a perfectly normal conversation. Definitely not Leon.
"My bad," Leon said. "I just didn't expect Professor Lockhart to be so… serious. Or rather, to have such serious talent."
Lockhart, utterly dejected, didn't even register whether Leon was teasing or mocking. "Fine, I'll admit it—I'm not as great as my books make out. Those adventures? Borrowed from others. But convincing wizards to share their stories? That's no easier than fighting dark creatures like in my books. When I got swindled out of money, I didn't run. I was confident I could balance the books and keep doing what I love. But now my magic's failing me? I'm panicking! Without magic, how do I 'borrow' more stories? How do I write? How do I pay off my debts?"
"So, you thought you couldn't pay up, and you ran to Hogwarts to hide from your creditors?" Leon asked, piecing together Lockhart's story.
This sounded like a slick goblin-run loan racket. Once they latched onto a high-profile, rootless celebrity like Lockhart, they wouldn't let go easily. His debt contract probably had more holes than a Quidditch hoop—likely unpayable in a lifetime.
In the original story, during the Chamber of Secrets fiasco, Lockhart snatched Ron's broken wand, tried an Obliviate spell, and ended up wiping his own memory, landing in St. Mungo's long-term ward. How much of that was real, and how much was an act to dodge debts and save his skin?
"Hiding from creditors was part of it," Lockhart admitted. "When Dumbledore offered me a teaching post, it was perfect timing. With my fame, I couldn't exactly waltz into St. Mungo's for treatment without drawing attention. So I came to Hogwarts, hoping Dumbledore could help."
Leon gave Lockhart a skeptical look. Was this guy still not being straight? Did he really think Dumbledore would get tangled up in goblin black-market business for him?
Apparently, Lockhart was clueless. No wonder his first words were about Leon being his only hope.
Lockhart wasn't wrong, though. If Leon wanted to, he could help.
But… "Cut to the chase," Leon said. "Why should I help you? What's in it for me? And how are you so sure I can fix this? What do you know?"
Lockhart went quiet, then finally spilled everything. "I'm a genius with memory charms—practically a master. It's how I make my living. Not only can I perfectly recreate those 'borrowed' adventures, but I also use memory enhancement spells on myself to log life snippets for material. This summer, at my book signing in Flourish and Blotts, things went great—until a big mess at the end. That's not the point. What caught my eye was a familiar figure in the chaos. I'd only seen them once before, but I never forget a face. Different face this time, but same height, build, and walk. I'm certain it was them. The first time I saw this person, they were with Hyena and Crow."
Leon raised an eyebrow. "If you've read my books, you know that, stolen stories or not, I've got a knack for adventure. After getting trapped in that debt scheme and dealing with constant threats, I wasn't going to sit idly by. I tracked Hyena and Crow multiple times. Once, I saw them meeting this person. It didn't mean much at the time, even when I spotted them acting shady at Flourish and Blotts. But then…" Lockhart looked straight at Leon, lowering his voice. "I saw them again at the Sorting Ceremony. So, Leon Green, what other surprises are you hiding from your dear professor?"
Leon didn't flinch. In fact, he almost laughed. Lockhart, trying to blackmail him? Cute. The last one to try that was Peeves, and he was still babbling in the Basilisk's head.
"Oh, what? I've got a wide social circle. Is that a crime?" Leon said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
He'd already decided: even if he helped Lockhart, this guy was going to be his cash cow—for life.
Lockhart hadn't expected Leon to be so unfazed. He'd thought the threat of being exposed as a dark wizard's associate would terrify Leon, maybe even get him expelled. But Leon didn't care one bit.
Of course he didn't. Ireland was a land of opportunity, after all. Leon knew Hyena and Crow because they were bounty hunters based there, and he'd hired them before. Not only that, he knew Paru, the goblin running the black-market racket. Some of the Galleons Leon had "liberated" from Gringotts were currently being laundered through Paru.
Wait a second. Did Lockhart think Leon was the one who set him up?
"You think I'm the mastermind behind your scam?" Leon burst out laughing.
Lockhart stayed silent, his expression unreadable.
He wasn't exaggerating about his memory magic skills. Leon tried rifling through his mind, but the sheer volume of memories was overwhelming—like a universe-exploding amount. He gave up.
Leon leaned back, thinking. "Two days ago, when you pretended I'd tricked you into provoking Snape, was that a performance for me? All this talk now—is it a test?"
Lockhart's face gave him away. Leon wanted to roll his eyes. This guy, a mere writer with no real assets, thought someone would scheme to rob or ruin him? Please.
"You're overthinking it, mate," Leon said. "Your pocket change doesn't interest me. Only someone as greedy as Paru, who'd kill for a Knut, would bother with you."
Still, Lockhart had value. "I can talk to Paru for you," Leon offered. "You pay back the principal and the original interest, and it's done. But in return, you work for me for twenty years."
Lockhart slumped. Out of the wolf's den, into the tiger's lair. He regretted ever approaching Leon.
"Don't worry," Leon said with a grin. "I take care of my people. Work for me, and you'll earn more than you ever did."
It'd just be… a tad exhausting.
Leon laid out the plan: "First, I'll buy out your publisher. No more running around for material—I'll have people collect it for you. Second, there's an urgent project. You're starting a serialized novel, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. You'll interview Harry, Ron, and Hermione for details, and it'll run in a monthly magazine, so get writing. Third, your haircare brand is launching soon. We'll shoot some commercials and record a jingle. If the jingle's a hit, we'll drop an album, making you a literary and entertainment star. Your record deal will be with my new entertainment company, and you'll help promote our new talent. The pay? You'll be thrilled. I'm in this for the long haul—screwing over my own people doesn't last. Any questions?"
Lockhart raised his hand. "For the album, do I write the songs?"
Leon appreciated the enthusiasm. "You might write one or two. I've got a top-tier music producer lined up."
"Who? The Weird Sisters?" Lockhart asked.
"The Sorting Hat," Leon replied.
"What?" Lockhart blinked, stunned. "The Sorting Hat? It… it…"
Leon nodded, clapping Lockhart's shoulder. "Yup, the Sorting Hat's handling your album's songwriting and production. Oh, and you'll personally invite it. Shows more sincerity."
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