"I'm not hungry," I said, pushing away the dinner Jungkook had made as I sat at the kitchen table in my house.
"Then you can have it for breakfast," he agreed.
"I just want to go home..." my voice trembled.
"Hah... me too," he sighed. "Come on, let's go to the living room and talk." He offered me his hand with a faint smile. After a brief hesitation, I placed my small hand into his large palm, and we walked to the living room, sitting down on the couch in front of the fireplace.
"I told you last time that if you ever reached a low point emotionally, I'd try to help. But... in this situation, I honestly don't know what I could say to comfort you," he said, gently running his hand along my arm, causing a strange shiver to run through me.
"It's okay. I understand. Honestly, it might be best if we talked about something else right now," I shrugged.
"Like what?"
"I don't know... anything." I leaned my head back, clearly struggling.
"Well, I do have a question."
"What is it?" I glanced at him.
"You never answered me—have you ever been with someone where you both truly loved each other?"
"Hmm... because I never have. At the time, I thought the people I was with had feelings for me too, but looking back now as an adult, I realize I was probably just a one-night—or at best, two-night—thing for all of them. That's my big problem... I get too loyal, too attached to one person. And in today's world, that's more of a weakness than a strength." I frowned.
"Yeah... I can see that in you. You're a special person. I believe you'll find the right one someday. It's not too late. I'm sure there are still decent, good-looking, gay guys in Korea." Jungkook encouraged me.
"Maybe. I just can't seem to find them," I chuckled.
"It's strange… For me, this whole marriage thing just kind of worked out from the start. I don't even remember struggling with it." He seemed to reflect for a moment.
"It's easy for a straight person. You don't get judged, and your dating pool is about a thousand times bigger than for someone who's gay. That's probably why it was so easy for you," I explained.
"That's probably true," he shrugged. "And what about me?"
"What about you?"
"Am I your type?" he wiggled his eyebrows playfully, and I made a face in response.
"Why are you asking that?"
"Just curious."
"And what if I said I liked you?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Then... I'd be happy," he replied.
"Why?" I was surprised.
"Because that would mean even a guy finds me attractive, not just girls. It'd give me a bit of confidence... which I've never really had," he smiled sadly.
"You don't have confidence?"
"Never have. I always want to meet everyone's expectations, but it feels like I never will. In high school, my parents even made me go to therapy for a while because of it. But it's gotten better now."
"I really don't get why you lack confidence. If you ask me, I'd say... you're very handsome. I don't want to say anything bad, considering your wife, but you really are good-looking, kind, helpful. You don't need to meet anyone's standards—others should be trying to meet yours." I smiled at him.
"Oh my God, Jimin, don't say things like that—I'm going to start blushing!" he laughed.
"Now that I'd like to see."
"Better not! But let me say something nice too... From a guy's perspective—you're good-looking as well," he eyed me.
"Really?" I was caught off guard.
"Let's break it down... If I were gay..."
"Jesus, Kook..." I laughed nervously.
"I'd like your slim figure, your tiny waist, and the fact that you're not overly muscular. I'd like your longer hair, your baby face, and those innocent eyes—not to mention your lips, which honestly enchant me even though I'm not gay. But if I were, I probably would've kissed you already. I'd love your feminine features." He finished his "analysis," and I just stared at him, bewildered.
"Mhm... Good to know. So, my lips enchant you, huh?" I asked, biting my lips flirtatiously.
"Swear to God, even my wife doesn't have lips that full. If I didn't have a family and you were a girl, you'd be my ideal type. Actually... even if you stayed a guy, I think I'd still want to taste them." He shrugged.
"Yeah, I'm just gonna pretend I didn't hear that," I laughed. "Want something to drink?"
"No thanks, not right now."
That's when we heard the record player start on its own. It was a little creepy, but no one else was around.
Jungkook and I looked at each other, and I could tell he was just as confused.
"What is this ancient love song?" I asked, making a face.
"I like it," he shrugged. "Wanna dance to it? It's slow enough for a waltz, and whoever put it on clearly wanted to be nice." He stood up from the couch.
"Sure, I'll dance with you," I said, standing up as well. I placed one hand on his shoulder and the other in his palm. Jungkook counted us in, and we began to waltz.
At first, we both just focused on not messing up the steps, trying to stay in sync. I'll admit—I stepped on his feet a few times—but eventually, we both got the rhythm, and we didn't even have to think about where to move anymore.
I looked up into Jungkook's eyes, and he met my gaze with a slightly serious expression. I got lost in his eyes.
My stomach flipped against my will. The moment felt… perfect.
It was just him and me. Literally. Like we were in an old romantic movie, with us as the main characters—our story being the plot.
Ugh… What am I even thinking?
Whatever… I'll just let my mind wander for once. This night's already been surreal. Might as well enjoy a little fantasy.
I slowly wrapped my arms around Jungkook's neck, careful in case he didn't like it—but he didn't show any signs of discomfort. We didn't stop dancing. We just swayed gently. I rested my head on his shoulder while he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me softly as we moved to the rhythm of the music.
It really felt like we were the couple from some romantic film.