Chapter 102: Thriving! Everything is Thriving!
"This is an unconventional battle."
"It is a battle to decide which of the two will be the ultimate winner."
"In the cramped space of the item shop, the Goddess and the Lich stand opposite each other. Their eyes are filled with their respective convictions, as if to say they absolutely cannot lose."
"It's begun!"
"It's contestant Aqua who makes the first move!"
"She howls, 'So it was you, so it was you!' as she charges towards contestant Wiz with bared fangs and brandished claws! That madness makes one wonder if she is a goddess or a berserker."
"This is not good news. After all, losing one's reason in battle is a very dangerous thing."
"—Oh my?!"
"Something amazing has happened!"
"Unexpectedly, contestant Wiz did nothing at all! Such a golden opportunity for a sneak attack has been wasted! She seems to have been scared silly by contestant Aqua's ferocious aura and was just that easily tackled to the ground!"
"Good heavens, she's letting herself be completely dominated!"
"But contestant Wiz doesn't seem that scared. Could it be that she's doing this on purpose?"
"And contestant Aqua doesn't care! She's shouting, 'So it's them, so it's them!' while frantically kneading contestant Wiz, as if she were kneading dough!"
"Should we say, as expected of Aqua? Bizarre skills are appearing one after another!"
"Is this the time to press her advantage, or is it... As expected, contestant Aqua chooses to continue her fierce assault! If they weren't both girls, one might suspect she was a pervert!"
"But contestant Wiz doesn't seem to be so simple."
"She has not been defeated at all. Although she looks panicked and her face is pale, that's just how liches are. That pitiful expression of hers makes one wonder if she is deliberately trying to win sympathy?"
"A lich is of a higher rank than a succubus. It's only reasonable for her to know a few succubus skills, right?"
"Wowowow—"
"Just as I suspected! Even though contestant Wiz is being forcibly suppressed, she is still standing firm... though it's her chest that is standing firm."
"It's on purpose! She's definitely doing it on purpose!"
"Good heavens! Her composed attitude is as if to say, 'Does a little apple think it can compare to a great big melon?' That强者's arrogance instantly turns into a small flame, igniting contestant Aqua."
"The enraged contestant Aqua shouts, 'So this is the great evil?! To actually dare to seduce the Kobayashi I hold dear! Watch as I purify you!'"
"Wait, contestant Aqua, using divine power is against the rules!"
"After suffering the violence, contestant Wiz lets out a pained moan... it's just that the sound is somehow very strange."
"The scene is in complete chaos!"
"Oh, thankfully, our referee, Kobayashi-senpai, has entered the stage! He taps Aqua on the head, signaling that the goddess has lost the match for using divine power."
"And that's the end of today's event."
"Thank you all for watching. This has been Satou Kazuma, reporting and commentating for you."
As the scene was still in utter chaos, Kazuma lowered the round magic staff he had been using as a microphone and wiped the sweat from his forehead, as if he had also been working very hard.
Kobayashi said to him, "Thank you for the commentary. Now, could you please tell me what is going on? Why did Aqua and Wiz meet, and why are they so hostile to each other?"
"Well, about that..."
Kazuma explained awkwardly.
Kobayashi had a contract with Wiz to receive up to 200,000 Eris worth of magic items from her for free every month. Last month, Kazuma, in the spirit of not being wasteful, had wanted to go and stock up on some items. However, before Kobayashi left, he had told him not to let Wiz and Aqua meet for the time being. After all, Aqua was extremely hostile to liches, and it could easily cause big trouble.
Kazuma had naturally kept this in mind.
It's just that when he said he had important business to attend to, his lies had managed to deceive Megumin and Darkness, but not the idiot goddess who could see through lies. Having been followed, the two of them had met.
"I see. I understand now."
Kobayashi pointed to the two women who were still chasing each other around the small space and asked again, "And why did what just happened happen?"
"Wiz said the contract has been going on for three months now."
"Hiss—"
That simple sentence made Kobayashi suck in a breath of cold air.
Aqua gets jealous very easily, but her jealousy is very specific. She becomes extremely agitated whenever she's involved with a lich, especially when she mistakenly thinks her believers will be stolen.
The most crucial thing was that he hadn't told her about his connection with a lich, which had, in turn, made her misunderstand even more.
In the middle of the room, the two women were still wrestling with each other.
Wiz was begging loudly in fear. "I'm ascending to heaven! I'm ascending to heaven! Lady Aqua, please let me go, I'm begging you!"
"Impossible!" Aqua kneaded her with all her might, shouting angrily, "So it's them! This great evil has seduced Kobayashi! Watch me purify them completely!"
"Nooo!!!"
"Purification!!!"
Kobayashi rubbed his forehead. Just as the scene was about to get out of control, he intervened, pulling Aqua off of Wiz.
"You've gone too far, Aqua."
"Kobayashi?"
After being pulled away, Aqua blinked and said in disbelief, "...You really have been seduced by her."
"Where did you get that conclusion?"
He retorted, then said, "I won't say that all liches are good, but Wiz is not an evil lich. I won't ask you to believe her right away, but at least please give her some time to prove herself."
Hearing this, Wiz quickly ran behind him, poked out her small head, and said timidly, "Lady Aqua, please believe me. I'm really not a bad person."
"I also believe you're not a bad person."
"Lady Aqua!"
"You're a bad lich."
"Lady Aqua—?!!!"
Wiz had thought she had been acknowledged, but she never expected to still be treated as an evil lich.
In truth, whether she was a good lich or not wasn't important. What was important was her identity as a lich, which naturally put her in opposition to Aqua.
"But there's one thing you must know, Aqua."
"What?"
"Wiz provides us with 200,000 Eris worth of magic items every month, and its existence gives us an extra 200,000 Eris. If Wiz no longer provides for us, then the money to buy you sparkling liquor will be gone."
"What?!!!"
Aqua's eyes widened, and she was caught in an internal struggle.
After thinking for a moment, she said hesitantly, "But she seduced you..."
"Where did you get that conclusion?" he said, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. "Besides, with me, the Goddess of Water, around, who could possibly seduce me?"
"Oh, right!" Aqua's eyes lit up.
Then, she said to Wiz with a haughty air, "Hey, lich! If you promise to hand over your tribute every month, I won't eliminate you. On the contrary, I will even bless you."
"A blessing is not necessary..." Wiz muttered under her breath.
She was a lich, fundamentally opposed to a goddess. A so-called blessing was a curse to her, especially when Aqua's blessings were very powerful. With the slightest carelessness, she would ascend to heaven.
"But can she really hand over a tribute every month?" Aqua looked at Wiz's item shop, her eyes full of disbelief.
Kobayashi was also puzzled and asked, "Wiz, does your shop look a little more dilapidated than before?"
"What are you saying, Mr. Kobayashi?"
Wiz clasped her hands together, her eyes full of beautiful hopes for the future, and said with genuine emotion, "My magic item shop is thriving!"
Thriving! Everything is thriving!
Kobayashi looked speechlessly at the confident Wiz.
Where does she get this confidence?
He patted her shoulder and comforted her, "It's fine to say that to trick us, but don't trick yourself. If you're in a hurry to get financing, try to make this place look a little better, and round out your sales pitch with a bit more exaggeration. But you must remember, never trick yourself."
"How cruel, Kobayashi!"
Wiz clenched her fists and said excitedly, "My shop's turnover really has increased! Compared to last month, I only lost 100,000 Eris! Based on past experience, the minimum loss is 500,000 Eris! Thanks to the small loss this month, I no longer have to go to the market to pick up rotten vegetable leaves to eat."
Losing 500k before, losing 100k now... by comparison, I've earned money? If the profit is higher than before, it doesn't count as a loss?
What kind of theory of relativity is this?
Her brain circuit was truly bizarre. Even Aqua couldn't stand it anymore.
"To actually have to pick up rotten vegetable leaves to eat... Kobayashi, can she really hand over a tribute every month?"
"It's because she spends all her money on 'tribute' that she's poor enough to eat rotten leaves."
"Really?! She's that pious?!"
Aqua looked at Wiz in surprise.
Then, with a sacred expression, she came before Wiz, her body emitting a dazzling and incomparably holy light, as if a goddess had descended.
...Wait, she is a goddess.
Then, under the puzzled gazes of the others, Aqua actually cast a blessing spell on Wiz.
"May you no longer be bound, and be freed from poverty and toil."
"W-wait, Lady Aqua! I'm ascending to heaven! I'm ascending to heaven!!!"
Bathed in the holy light, Wiz's figure grew even more ethereal.
(End of Chapter)