Darkness. Silence. Laggy AF.Just like my ex's DnD campaign — boring as hell and ending in a fizzle.
Well, that's how I died. Again. This time — officially. RIP me. GGWP.
I found myself floating in some endless white void. Like someone rage-uninstalled the universe and forgot to delete the ghost cache. I looked down — no legs, just wispy transparent bullshit. Spirit mode activated. No tutorial. No loot. Total scam.
And then...
[SYSTEM MESSAGE]Congratulations!You've managed to survive despite the Death Angel's persistent camping. Only three mortals ever managed this before. As a reward, you get:— One (1) Extra Life— Full Memory Retention™— Bonus EXP carried overWould you like to reincarnate?
☑ YES☐ NO
I didn't even blink. I mean, duh — YES. New game plus, here I come, baby.
But just as I was about to press the celestial 'YES' button with my ghosty-ass finger...
[SYSTEM MESSAGE]CONGRATULATIONS!!!You have achieved the legendary feat: "Dumbest Death Imaginable".Your demise was so idiotic it made several gods snort divine beer and sent one Death Angel into early retirement due to psychological trauma.Reward:— Choose a World— Choose a Character— Choose a Superpower
☑ YES☐ NO
Oh.So not just an extra life — a cosmic "make-your-own-RPG" starter pack. Fucking jackpot.Sure, being a cosmic meme is a little degrading, but I'll take the perks and deal with the trauma later (like every gamer ever).
Of course I clicked YES again, with the enthusiasm of a weeb buying body pillows on discount.
[SYSTEM BOOTING…]Merging soul core with memory kernel...1%... 16%... 54%... 83%...Jesus, even death has load times.99%...COMPLETE.
Phew. Memory preserved. No wipes. No save corruption.
And then—
[FATAL ERROR]What. The. Actual. F@ck?
[SYSTEM PAUSED]Additional Options Unlocked due to "Legendary Idiocy" status.Would you like to proceed?
☑ YES☐ NO
Sure, what could possibly go wrong?
Choice #1: Select Reincarnation World(Provided by the Prince of Hell in gratitude for staff recruitment.)(Compiled by Demon of Circle Three, Boiler #16565156454454)P.S. "See you soon. — Not-at-all-bitter Ex-Death Angel."
Oh, I've got a really bad feeling about this.
Available Worlds:1 — Naruto2 — Naruto: Dark Mode3 — Naruto: Hardcore Edition
Seriously? That's it? Where's the fantasy tavern porn simulator?Fine. I'll pick #1. Better the canon you know than some edgy alt-timeline where everyone wears black leather and stabs each other for ramen.
Choice #2: Pick Your Avatar(List generously donated by Death Himself.)Yeah, I'm boned.
Available bodies:1 — Naruto Uzumaki2 — Naruko Uzumaki (WTF?!)3 — Menma Namikaze (the emo AU edition)
Thanks, Death. Real original.Option #1. I'll take OG blonde idiot. At least I know what he's working with.
Plus:— Built-in Kyūbi-powered chakra reactor— Access to canon plot armor— HINATA. Canon Hinata. That introvert goddess with kawaii eyes and a secret obsession? Yeah. Her.
Let's just say, I plan to research her affection stat extensively. For science.
Choice #3: Choose Your OP Cheat Skill(Sponsored by The God of Games)— Thank RNGsus.
Options:1 — Gamer System: Standard Edition2 — Gamer System: Plus Edition3 — Gamer System: T-3000™ (Early Access Beta, may cause existential glitches)
Ohoho. Jackpot again. Gamer system. Every isekai junkie's wet dream.
Okay, let's peek under the hood.
Clicking the '!' next to Option 2:— Base Pack from Standard— + Forum— + Shop— + Auction
Not bad.
Clicking the '!' next to Option 1:— Gamer's Body (Passive regen like Wolverine with cheat codes)— Gamer's Mind (Mental debuff immunity and cold-blooded logic)— Quest Generator™— Illusion Barrier (Dungeon Forge mode unlocked)
Solid.
Clicking the '!' next to Option 3:— All above— Custom Quests— Ability to argue with the System (99% chance of getting ignored, but still)— Dynamic AI support
Say no more.
Selected: Gamer System – Version T-3000™If it explodes, at least I'll go out in beta-test glory.
[TIMER INITIATED]33... 32... 31...
OH SHIT, I'M ON A TIMER!?
☑ LOCKED IN: WORLD: NARUTO / AVATAR: NARUTO / PERK: GAMER SYSTEM – T-3000™INITIATING REINCARNATION...
2%...10%... World Selected.25%... Body Linked.50%... Installing cheat codes.86%... Optimizing BS.99%...INSTALLATION COMPLETE.Have a nice respawn, asshole.
Flash. Boom. Fade to black.Then nothing.