"
He kissed me so deep I forgot how to lie—
Now even shame tastes like him."
—Nil
✦ ✦✦
Nil clung to Kao's chest with a desperation that reeked of shame. His fingers fisted the sleek fabric of Kao's blazer, head buried low, refusing to rise. His face burned, breath stuttering against Kao's skin through the thin cotton—hot, damp, almost fevered.
Because Gulf had seen.
And what he saw could not be undone.
Nil didn't speak. Couldn't. Every nerve in his body was screaming, every part of him wanted to disappear—but he couldn't move. Not with Kao's scent in his lungs. Not with his hands still trembling from what they had done.
Kao's breathing was uneven, chest heaving beneath Nil's cheek. His own control was wearing thin.
"He's gone," Kao finally said, low and close to Nil's ear, voice wrecked.
Nil didn't respond.
Didn't lift his face.
Didn't dare look him in the eye—because if he did, he might see what he had awakened.
Kao's hand slid up Nil's spine with sinful patience, fingers curling into the fabric like he was claiming ownership—not of the shirt, but of the trembling body beneath it. His touch was hot, firm, and slow—like he already knew how Nil would feel bare.
His voice dropped, wrecked and trembling, rough with hunger barely caged.
"If you keep pressing into me like this..."
His breath hitched, sharp.
"...I won't stop, Not this time."
A gulp followed—tight, shaky.
"And if I go again..."
His forehead leaned into Nil's, lips just brushing but not touching.
"There won't be any mercy. I'll touch you everywhere. I'll ruin every inch you try to hide."
His lips—plump, red, still wet from the first kiss—parted slowly, glistening like a promise.
He tilted Nil's chin just slightly, voice a dark whisper against his mouth:
"Wanna feel what it's like when I don't hold back?"
Nil finally lifted his head—just a little.
His cheek still pressed close to Kao's chest, but his eyes tilted up, locking with Kao's. Their faces were flushed, breaths shallow, skin still warm from the nearness of sin.
Kao's hand lifted instinctively, reaching to touch Nil's cheek—soft, trembling, as if soothing a frightened animal. But before his fingers could land, Nil shoved him away. Not violently. But with all the force shame could summon.
He stopped only for a heartbeat.
His wide eyes stared into Kao's as if he had just remembered he still had a soul—one he had nearly offered up. Guilt washed across his face like a wave, twisting every line with silent self-condemnation.
Then—he turned and ran. Toward the washroom. Without a word.
Kao stood frozen, hand still half-raised, watching the space Nil left behind.
He didn't move.
He didn't call after him.
He couldn't.
Nil stood before the mirror, breath ragged, "His breath was still on my neck—hot, filthy, promising everything I should run from." His chest rose like he'd been gasping under someone.
He splashed water on his face again and again— " And, My fingers clutched his blazer, but it was his body I wanted to tear into."
as if cold could erase heat.
As if shame could be drowned.
But his lips were still red.
And his eyes—still trembled, "He said he wouldn't stop, and my body begged him not to lie."
A few minutes later, Kao stepped into the main hall.
His suit was flawless, not a thread out of place. His gait was calm, his back straight, every movement smooth with practiced control.
But his face—
His lips were red—shamelessly swollen, glossed with spit, the kind of mouth that looked freshly fucked—kissed open by a tongue that didn't ask permission, only took and kept taking until nothing pure was left.
His cheeks bore the unmistakable stain of heat.
And his eyes—dark, unsettled—betrayed everything else he failed to hide.
Lava turned at once, her sharp gaze scanning him like a hawk.
"Kao... what happened?"
She stepped closer, frowning slightly. "Why is your face so flushed?"
A pause. Her eyes narrowed on his lips.
"And your lips—?"
Before she could finish, Kao cut in, voice cool and clipped: "A bee bit me."
Lava blinked, stunned. "A... bee?"
Kao didn't look at her. His gaze stayed fixed ahead, distant.
"When are we leaving?"
Lava composed herself. "Everything's ready. If you want, we can go now."
Kao's jaw tightened.
"...No."
Lava lowered her eyes—slowly, like a thief in the dark—back to his mouth.
''Even a bee gets to taste them...''
''Who do I have to become to get a bite of that mouth?'' Still staring.
''When will it be my turn to suck on those lips—slow, deep, and without mercy?''
She said nothing more.
But the hunger in her gaze said everything.
Suddenly, Director Kim leaned in, lowering his voice to Kao's ear.
As Kao turned slightly to listen, the collar of his shirt slipped just enough to expose the smooth curve of his neck—and beneath it, faint reddish scratch marks, raw and unmistakable, barely hidden above the collarbone.
Lava saw them.
Her eyes landed there and refused to move.
The moment froze.
The burn in her chest was instant—jealousy, lust, disbelief, rage—everything twisted into one hot pulse.
"Kao...!" she breathed, the name falling from her lips like accusation, like heartbreak.
How could he...!
But the rest wouldn't come. Her throat locked.
Just then, Nil stepped into the hall.
His face was still flushed—beautifully so, like he had run through fire and hadn't yet cooled.
His lips—red, bitten, swollen—still bore the evidence of sin.
Kao's gaze snapped to him immediately.
Unblinking.
Hungry.
Quiet.
Director Kim turned toward Nil with cheerful oblivion.
"Nil, come over!"
Nil hesitated only a second—then stepped forward, eyes scanning the room.
He saw Kao.
Seated. Waiting.
Their eyes nearly met—but Nil quickly looked away, as if contact would burn him alive.
Director Kim smiled. "There's no one who doesn't know this face—but since you're new, I should properly introduce you..."
Kao opened his mouth to speak.
"Kim, we already—"
But Nil stepped in first, voice clear, cutting.
"Nice to meet you, Kao sir."
Formal. Distant.
Like they were strangers. Like he hadn't moaned into that mouth less than an hour ago.
Kao's expression faltered.
The words struck sharper than a slap.
He didn't reply.
And Nil—still not once meeting his eyes—lowered his head with perfect politeness, hiding everything beneath the mask.
Only Lava kept staring at those marks on Kao's neck.
And thought:
Those aren't from a bee.
They're from someone who knows how to hurt with their mouth.
Lava's gaze drifted between them—Kao's uncharacteristically quiet posture, and the boy who had just entered with a flushed face and eyes lowered like a criminal avoiding judgment.
"What's going on...?" her thoughts stirred restlessly.
"They already know each other?"
Her eyes fixed on Nil, narrowing.
"Why is his face also so red?"
"His lips... they look..."
A cold realization began to bloom, slow and vile.
''No... no, it can't be."
"It's not him. Kao wouldn't—"
"With a boy like that—"
Her heart slammed against her ribs as forbidden thoughts knocked hard against the door she was trying to keep shut.
"Did Kao... was he with him?"
"No—no, impossible!"
She swallowed the rising bile of jealousy, trying to anchor herself with the lie.
"Kao wouldn't touch someone like him... not him."
But deep down, her gut twisted with the truth she was already choking on.
Nil, meanwhile, kept his gaze fixed on the ground, his hands clasped so tightly his knuckles had gone pale.
The sound of voices blurred around him. Applause. Footsteps. The faint laughter of someone nearby. But all he heard was the pounding shame inside his head.
"How could I look at Gulf again..."
"He saw me... he saw us..."
His chest ached, but worse was the heat still lingering on his lips, still pulsing in his blood. He could feel it—the ghost of Kao's mouth, of his hands, of the breathless moment when everything blurred into want.
"And him... Stranger..."
He swallowed, hard.
"So shameless."
"How can he act like nothing happened?"
"My lips are swollen, my thighs still trembling—how do I pretend none of it happened?"
Nil clenched his fists tighter, nails digging into his palms.
"I don't know how to face him."
"I don't know how to face myself."
The seminar had begun.
It was nothing more than a formal gathering—an introductory meeting meant to break the ice. A polite, structured start to what would soon become something far more demanding.
The chairs were arranged in a soft circle, creating the illusion of equality. But the weight of presence was not equal at all.
Kao had been offered a single-seat sofa—comfortable, wide, far too soft to match the tension that simmered beneath his calm surface. He sat with one leg crossed, posture perfectly elegant, gaze unreadable.
Lava sat beside him, smile strained. Her back was straight, her hands folded neatly on her lap, but her eyes were dull—betraying the quiet devastation coiled in her chest. Every breath she took was a reminder to hold herself together.
In the center of the circle stood Gulf.
Composed. Commanding. Polished with experience and confidence.
"Hi, my name is Gulf Kanawut," he began, his voice warm and familiar. "And congratulations for making it this far."
Polite applause followed.
Gulf's presence wasn't random. He had worked with Director Kim before, and his invitation was meant to inspire, to motivate the newcomers who sat stiffly in their chairs, unsure of what this room, this career, or this moment would demand from them.
Nil sat two chairs away from Kao.
Two chairs—just enough distance to be unreachable, but not far enough to breathe.
His arms were crossed tightly over his chest. Shoulders tense. Chin low. He didn't look at anyone. Especially not the man whose gaze had been fixed on him the entire time.
Kao sat unmoving. His eyes never left Nil. Calm on the surface—but his stare was relentless, like a hand pressed silently against Nil's throat.
Nil could feel it.
That stare.
Burning.
And yet, he didn't lift his head.
He couldn't.
His entire body ached with shame. His ears still rang with guilt. His lips—still tender—reminded him with every breath what he had done. Who had kissed him. Who had seen.
Lava, seated at Kao's side, noticed everything.
Noticed that Kao hadn't looked at her even once.
Noticed that all his attention—his subtle tension, his quiet unrest—was pointed toward that boy.
And something inside her splintered just a little more.
Gulf continued, his voice steady:
"Working with Director Kim is in itself a great opportunity. So be professional. Respect the process. Learn something new with every step of the way."
There was another round of applause.
But Nil didn't clap.
And Kao didn't blink.
After Gulf concluded, Kao stood.
The quiet murmur in the room faded at once.
His figure was tall, sharp in silhouette beneath the soft studio lights. Every movement he made was measured—his gaze calm, his tone clipped with practiced composure.
He stepped to the center, hands folded neatly before him.
"Hello," he said simply. "Kao Neptune."
A pause. Eyes swept across the room. But not once did they settle where his heart wanted them to.
"Congratulations to everyone. As Gulf already said, this is a rare opportunity—one many dream of, but few are chosen for."
He paused, and his gaze briefly caught Nil's. The boy sat frozen, mute, eyes locked somewhere beyond the walls.
"I hope each of you takes this seriously, and works hard."
Nil said nothing, only stared, every muscle taut.
Kao's voice steadied, unflinching.
"There will be no compromise with ethics during shooting. This is a professional environment."
Nil's eyes did not waver.
Kao continued, softer now, but no less commanding.
"If you encounter any problems—during shoots or otherwise—please bring them to our team. We will take care of it."
With that, Kao concluded and stepped down, the room filled with polite applause. Nil remained seated, still staring, caught in his own storm.
Before Kao could leave the studio, Gulf approached.
Without a word, he pulled Kao into a brief embrace—firm, respectful—and whispered close to his ear:
"Good one."
Kao froze for a moment, the unexpected warmth surprising him. Then, just the faintest curve of a smile brushed his lips—barely noticeable, but there.
As the full cast gathered, Nil finally found the moment to meet his co-star, Than.
Director Kim's voice carried over the room, firm and purposeful.
"It's important you two get to know each other well. Chemistry like this can't be forced—it must be lived."
Kim then introduced them to Kao.
Than's eyes lit up the moment he saw Kao, his admiration unmistakable.
"Who doesn't know him? The great singer himself. I'm such a huge fan, Sir."
There was a warmth in his voice that made the room soften, even Kao's usually unreadable expression flickered with quiet appreciation.
They all shook hands.
When Kao's hand finally met Nil's, he lingered—fingers curling just slightly tighter than necessary.
Nil's shame flared. Instinctively, he pinched Kao's hand—sharp enough to make Kao yelp.
"Ouchhh," Kao exclaimed, drawing startled glances from Than and Director Kim.
Kao's lips curled into a small, disarming smile as he recovered.
"Nothing," he said lightly, voice teasing. "Just a cute little bee decided to kiss my hand."
Director Kim's voice cut through the quiet chatter, firm and resolute.
"Everyone must gather for the veneration ceremony before seven tomorrow morning."
Than offered a kind smile toward Nil.
"I'll give you a ride home."
Kao stepped forward as well, voice calm but carrying an unspoken command.
"Nil, come."
Nil's expression fell—hopeless, closed-off.
"You're unnecessarily worrying. I can go home on my own."
Than's eyes flicked between the two, curiosity sharpening.
"Do you two know each other?"
Their answers came almost simultaneously but clashed like thunder—Nil's voice tight, defensive:
"No."
Kao's cold, clipped reply:
"Yes."
Than's brows furrowed, confusion knitting his features.
"Then who's telling the truth?"
Kao's gaze hardened, icy and dismissive.
"That's none of your business."
The tension thickened, unspoken but palpable.
Sensing the rising storm, Nil grabbed Than's arm, tugging him gently but firmly.
"Sir, I think we should leave."
"But Nil—" Than began, voice uncertain.
Kao's eyes burned into their retreating backs, filled with a mix of frustration and something deeper—something dangerously close to desperation.
Why is Nil ignoring me?
Why does he think I recommended him?
I have to clear this up.
Kao moved to settle into the car. Just as he opened the door, Lava stepped forward, intent on slipping inside beside him.
But Kao's hand rose gently, stopping her—not with coldness, but with quiet finality.
"Lava, I already called another car. It should be here any minute."
His voice was calm, polite, but carried the weight of a closed door.
"I have to go somewhere else."
He nodded to his driver, who started the engine smoothly.
Lava stood frozen, watching the taillights fade into the darkness—like a flame retreating from her reach.
Her fingers curled around her purse until it crumpled in her grip. Without thinking, she hurled it to the ground.
Anger and frustration surged hot and fierce through her veins.
"Why has Kao changed so much?"
Her voice trembled with disbelief, but no one heard.
"Why does he ignore me like I'm nothing?"
Tears welled up, spilling over like a dam breaking.
"Can't he see... can't he see my feelings?"