"The more he resists, the deeper I drown—
Tell me,
How do I stop craving someone?
who ruins me so sweetly?"
—Kao
Everyone's eyes were on Kao—yet Kao's eyes never left Nil.
Among the sea of bodies, Nil stood like a lighthouse in the fog—impossible to miss, even if he tried to vanish. Kao's gaze clung to him with such intensity that it seemed to pierce through the crowd, brushing away all else.
He was astounded, his breath caught like a thread tangled around the fingers of fate.
"Nil... didn't tell me," he muttered under his breath, as if the words would dissolve the disbelief. "He's... auditioning for this?"
But Nil—
Nil's heart stung with a different confusion.
As he met that gaze, so unwavering and so terribly familiar, his mind went blank—then dark. Misunderstanding churned like a storm behind his eyes. His jaw clenched, his fists curled by his sides.
"Why, Stranger?"
"Why did you have to do this?"
The anguish stabbed deeper than reason. The weight of it pressed down on his lungs until he could hardly breathe.
Nil turned sharply on his heel and strode away, cutting through the silence like a blade. He didn't care who saw. He just wanted to escape.
Kao's heart twisted at the sight of Nil's retreating back. A sick unease pooled inside him.
"Something's wrong."
"Why is he walking away like that?"
"Why didn't he come to me?"
Lava, who had been welcoming the cast with practiced grace, barely had time to turn when Kao brushed past her, eyes already searching for Nil.
"I'll greet them later," he said, his voice low and urgent. "Tell them I had something to attend to."
Kao slipped through the backstage corridor, footsteps quick and desperate, until he caught a glimpse of Nil's figure vanishing through the back door.
"Nil!" he called, but the name echoed unanswered against the walls.
Again—louder, rawer: "Nil!"
Still, Nil walked on, as if each step was a denial, as if fleeing was the only dignity he had left.
"Nil, listen to me!"
Despite Kao's urgent echoing down the corridor, Nil did not stop. His shoulders were rigid, his head held high, but his footsteps betrayed him—quick, uneven, as if each one was taken to outrun something that clung too closely to his chest.
Kao chased after him, his breath caught between desperation and disbelief. And then—
In a deserted corner, where the light dimmed and silence seemed to wrap around like gauze, Kao lunged forward.
His hand caught Nil's wrist.
In one swift, unthinking motion, he pulled Nil back and pinned him hard against the cold wall.
Thud.
Nil gasped as the impact stunned him—but before he could fully react, he found himself caged between Kao's arms. The space between them vanished, their bodies now pressed together in tense collision. Nil twisted, struggled, his breath growing short, but every movement only tightened Kao's hold.
Their chests rose and fell against each other.
Kao's grip was firm—too firm—like someone trying to hold onto something slipping through his fingers.
"Why are you acting like this?" Kao demanded, his voice hoarse with frustration. His brows were furrowed, and his eyes—those stormy, resolute eyes—burned with the need to understand. "Why are you avoiding me? What did I do wrong?"
"Let me go!" Nil hissed, his voice trembling not with fear—but fury. "Stranger! don't want to talk..."
But Kao didn't let go.
His fingers dug deeper into Nil's wrist, his stance braced like a wall. "At least tell me what happened! Tell me why you're so angry with me!" he growled. "Why are you looking at me like...'' paused, " I'm your enemy?"
Nil's breath caught. He stared up at Kao, eyes wide and filled with something raw—wounded, furious, proud.
And then, with a voice as sharp as broken glass, he snapped,
"You dare ask me?"
"I told you not to do anything for me. I told you I wanted to walk this path on my own!"
His chest heaved, and for a moment, his expression flickered with the grief of betrayal.
"And yet—you recommended me to the director."
"Do you think I came here to collect favors? To be pitied? To bask in your shadow like a beggar?"
"Do you want me to be crushed by your kindness?"
His voice rose like a tremor before a collapse.
"Is that what you want, Stranger?"
Kao's hand did not loosen.
In fact—it pressed harder.
The firm weight of his palm slammed Nil further against the wall, as if to anchor him there, to force him into stillness when the entire air between them screamed with chaos.
His voice, low and deliberate, cut through the tension like a blade sliding across silk.
"No. I didn't."
"I never went to anyone, never begged anyone to cast you."
"I didn't manipulate anything behind your back."
Kao's eyes didn't waver. They burned—not with arrogance, but with insulted pride.
"I know Director Kim. He's brutally professional. He doesn't bend for anyone."
"If he chose you, it's because he saw what I saw."
His gaze lingered, voice tightening, as if it pained him to admit aloud,
"That you're worthy. All on your own."
Nil's breath hitched. His lashes trembled.
The heat between them rose like a fever.
Neither of them noticed how close they had gotten—how the world outside this narrow hallway had melted into nothing. The only thing that remained was this shared storm, this breathless ache where heartbeats collided like thunder against ribs.
Nil let out a quiet breath—barely a sigh—but it shuddered through his whole frame. His eyes glistened, whether from fury or despair, Kao couldn't tell.
And then—
Silence.
A silence so thick it seemed almost sacred. The kind that swelled before something irreversible.
They could hear it—their hearts—pounding so fast it felt unnatural, as if time itself had splintered. Kao's chest rose and fell against Nil's. His breath ghosted across Nil's cheek, warm and ragged, and the distance between their lips was no longer distance at all.
They were—
Too close.
Too close to think, too close to lie, too close to pretend they hadn't both dreamt of this proximity in secret.
Nil's mind screamed to shove him away.
But his heart—traitorous, yearning—leaned in.
"Stranger..."
Kao had been holding back.
Barely. Raggedly.
But now—now the thread had snapped.
Without another word, he closed the distance and seized Nil's lips with his own.
The kiss was brutal at first—hungry, chaotic, breath stolen between collisions of mouth and breath and trembling restraint. His lips crashed onto Nil's with a force that made his head tilt back against the wall, breath caught, spine pressed tight.
"Mm—!"
Nil's gasp dissolved into the heat of Kao's mouth. His eyes fluttered shut instantly, and tears spilled unbidden, tracing a fragile line down his cheek—each drop burning as it fell.
Kao let go of Nil's wrist, only to clutch his hand instead—fingers curling tightly—then slowly, deliberately, his grip traveled upward. His palm brushed over Nil's shoulder, neck, the tips of his fingers grazing the fragile skin behind his ear.
Nil shivered.
"Guh..."
He swallowed hard, an audible gulp beneath Kao's fingers.
"Nnh..."
Kao tasted it—felt it—the way Nil's lips parted in surrender, how his body leaned in with aching hesitation. Their saliva mingled, breath tangled, heat pooling between them until they were no longer two boys—but one burning question of flesh and want.
Nil clutched Kao's back, both hands fisting into his coat as though trying to drag him closer, deeper, tighter. As though the wall between them wasn't enough—he needed more. Needed everything.
"Umm..."
"Ahh—!"
A muffled moan escaped between their mouths as Nil sucked gently on Kao's lower lip, tentative but desperate, his body trembling.
Kao groaned, his voice a deep rumble in his chest.
"Hhh..." His breath hitched.
He bit down—gently, but firm—on Nil's tongue, the edge of his lips, white teeth grazing tender flesh with a possessive kind of tenderness. Nil flinched, gasped again, mouth parting wider.
"Haa—nngh..."
Their kisses turned messy. Wet. Frantic.
Lips sliding, hands roaming, breath coming in ragged bursts that brushed hotly over flushed skin.
Nil tried to pull back, overwhelmed, his lungs crying out for air—but Kao wouldn't let go.
Wouldn't let him go.
Not yet.
His arm wrapped around Nil's waist, locking him in place, while his other hand cupped the back of Nil's neck—thumb stroking just under his ear, coaxing him to stay.
"Ahh... Kao—!" Nil gasped, voice broken, breathless.
But Kao only pressed in deeper, whispering his name against his lips like a confession, a sin, a prayer.
"Nil..."
There was no room to move.
No air between them.
Only heat.
Kao's lips moved over Nil's like a man searching for answers in a language he never learned—rough, then unbearably soft, then rough again. He kissed like he meant to devour the silence between them.
"Mmh..."
Nil let out another muffled sound, caught off guard as Kao pressed him further into the wall, their hips now brushing in a way that made his fingers dig harder into Kao's back.
Kao gasped—sharp, low.
The sound vibrated against Nil's mouth, and Nil whimpered—
"Ah... ahn—"
His legs trembled, knees nearly giving, but Kao was already holding him, arms anchoring him against his chest. Every shift of their bodies, every drag of lips and breath, sent sparks running down their spines.
"Nil..." Kao's voice was hoarse now, barely holding.
He pulled back just enough to look at him. Nil's lips were red, swollen, kissed raw. His cheeks flushed, his lashes damp. His breath came in stuttering pants, fogging the space between them.
Kao's thumb traced the corner of his mouth—then pressed gently on his lower lip, parting it, "You Drove Me to the Edge, Then Called Me Stranger"
He leaned in again, speaking so low it wasn't even a whisper, just breath:
"You drive me insane."
And again, he kissed him—this time tilting Nil's chin up, their mouths fitting together with aching familiarity. His tongue slid across Nil's, slow, searching. Nil whimpered, hips jerking as his body betrayed him.
"Nngh... Strangerr—stop, I—I"
"Then push me away," Kao murmured against his mouth. "If you really want me to stop—then do it."
Nil didn't.
The kiss had barely ended.
Their mouths still wet.
Their lips swollen—parted.
Breath hitching, chest to chest.
Panting.
Kao's hair clung to his temples, dark with sweat. Nil's tears had smeared across his flushed cheeks, and his lower lip glistened—slick from Kao's teeth, from his own surrender.
Then—footsteps.
Kao's body stiffened.
He turned his head, slow, as though caught in a dream.
Gulf.
Frozen mid-step.
Eyes wide.
Mouth parted.
Nil's eyes opened in time to see it—Gulf's face, and the horror that followed.
His breath choked.
"Ah—!"
He shoved Kao weakly, not to escape—no, he didn't run.
Instead, he collapsed forward, burying his entire face in Kao's chest, as if trying to melt into his skin.
His hands fisted into Kao's blazer with trembling urgency, pulling it open, pressing himself deeper, harder, trying to fold into him. His cheek rubbed against Kao's shirt, his mouth pressed to the warm fabric, breath seeping through like heat seeking refuge.
He was shaking.
Kao stood frozen, arms barely catching him, lips still parted—his own breath unsteady.
He looked down. Nil's face was buried in his chest, his ears red, his neck damp with sweat and shame. The tip of Nil's nose peeked just above the fold of his blazer, like a child hiding inside another body.
Kao clenched his jaw.
He wanted to say something—but how could he?
His mouth was still throbbing from Nil's kiss. His skin still burned with the imprint of Nil's lips.
And Gulf—
Gulf, after a beat, smiled quietly, understanding heavy in his eyes. He turned away without a word.
Gone.