Whitebeard was honestly a bit disturbed by Shiba Inu Thor's taste buds.
Sure, Devil Fruits aren't actually feces, but why did Thor, in his Shiba Inu form, look so blissed out eating it? Was the fruit really that bad? Or did it actually taste just like… No. That was too horrifying. He'd never felt this kind of existential terror before.
If Devil Fruit really tasted like crap, then… what did that say about him, when he ate it back then?
He shuddered and tried not to dwell on it.
Ordinary Group Admin: "@Northern God's Glory, are you telling me it really tastes like… you-know-what?"
Northern God's Glory: "???"
Northern God's Glory: "I just think it's tasty, that's all!"
Northern God's Glory: "And for the record, I've never eaten crap!!"
Northern God's Glory: "Shiba Inu rage!"
Northern God's Glory: "I am the mighty Thor, Son of Odin, King of the Norse Gods—why would I eat that?"
Thor the Shiba was deeply offended.
How dare they insult the dignity of the Thunder God!
The Undefeated East: "Well, you are a dog now."
Ordinary Group Admin: "Dogs do tend to have that… reputation."
Soup-for-Daigu: "Old habits die hard."
Richest Man: "Even if you haven't eaten it, the flavor of Devil Fruit is probably just as bad. It's basically dog food for you."
Northern God's Glory: "You're all just prejudiced against dogs!"
Who said every dog eats stuff like that?
Not him!
Or at least, he didn't think so.
Wait—if he'd never tried it, how could he know?
Thor's Shiba eyes went a bit blank, unable to find a solid rebuttal.
Child of Nature: "So, why are we even discussing this? Aren't you all a little grossed out?"
Child of Nature: "@Ordinary Group Admin, so, would you still eat it?"
Ordinary Group Admin: "I…"
Roxie hesitated, suddenly regretting where this conversation had gone.
She just wanted to try a Devil Fruit, not… whatever this was!
But this was a Mythical Zoan—an Angel-type Devil Fruit. If she didn't eat it, she'd regret it forever!
Taste aside, it couldn't possibly be worse than stinky tofu or durian.
Ordinary Group Admin: "I'll eat it! I've survived stinky tofu, durian, and all sorts of weird food. A Devil Fruit is nothing!"
Ordinary Group Admin: "And I still say the flavor is probably just like durian or stinky tofu. Thor just doesn't know any better."
Ordinary Group Admin: "Maybe Devil Fruit is just the One Piece world's version of durian."
Richest Man: "…"
Richest Man: "You're really trying to convince yourself, huh."
Richest Man: "Wait a minute."
Richest Man: "If that mutt actually likes eating it, doesn't that make my lottery pull the most useless one?"
Richest Man: "Ugh!"
Northern God's Glory: "Shiba Inu glare.jpg"
Northern God's Glory: "You want a bite?"
Northern God's Glory: "I can share a piece with you."
Northern God's Glory: "Shiba Inu mischievous grin.jpg"
Richest Man: "You're mocking me, aren't you? You're totally mocking me! If it weren't for that last photo, I might've believed you were being generous!"
Richest Man: "Screw you!"
Soup-for-Daigu: "Looks like a contest between losers, but actually it's just two unlucky guys bickering."
Soup-for-Daigu: "Honestly, compared to what we pulled in the lottery, yours aren't so bad."
Soup-for-Daigu: "Except for Thor's half-eaten Devil Fruit—being a different species, I guess mine's still better."
Honestly, postpartum sow care was a valuable skill—even profitable if you looked at it that way.
But he'd rather not have drawn it at all. Now his head was full of pig facts, and sometimes he even dreamed of piglets. It was enough to make him dread falling asleep.
Come Be My Son: "Pain is nothing! Not compared to the humiliation I've suffered!"
Ace and the rest had leaked his embarrassing story about that giant doll, and even started a matchmaking campaign for him across the sea!
Just thinking about it got his blood boiling.
If they weren't his sons, he'd have smashed their heads in.
As it was, he'd already given them a solid beating for joining in!
Madara hadn't said anything, but every time he saw that steel pipe in the group's item stash, he just wanted to bring down Susano'o on the chat itself.
The Undefeated East: "Just how bad were your lottery pulls, anyway?"
Ordinary Group Admin: "Out of everyone in the chat, only Meowth, Minato, and Brandon are truly lucky."
Ordinary Group Admin: "Especially Brandon—he's got the luck of the gods! First draw was Uchiha Obito's template. Even though he didn't get all the ninja skills, he still got the Uchiha bloodline and Mangekyō Sharingan—with Kamui!"
Child of Nature: "The Mangekyō evolved after fusion. It's not quite the same now."
Child of Nature: "It's the Eye That Reflects the Soul."
Ordinary Group Admin: "So what does it do now?"
Child of Nature: "Well…"
Child of Nature: "Let's just say, to avoid any jealousy, just treat it as Kamui. The new power is even more overpowered."
Ordinary Group Admin: "You're not helping my envy at all!"
Ordinary Group Admin: "Now I'm convinced you're a plant by the chat group system."
Ordinary Group Admin: "But if anyone's the plant, shouldn't it be the group admin? Ugh!"
Soup-for-Daigu: "Hahaha."
Soup-for-Daigu: "Trying not to laugh.jpg"
Soup-for-Daigu: "Sorry, I'm professionally trained to keep a straight face, but this time I just can't."
The whole group burst out laughing along with Daigu.
Sure, Roxie's complaints sounded pitiful, and they genuinely were… but at this point, the group just found it hilarious.
They'd been at this too long to feel bad anymore.
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