'Ernest Makes a Grand Entrance.'
Who are you?" I said it in alarm. "Where is Mr. Longfellow?"
The stranger wore a crumpled grey suit, and his unruly white hair stuck out in all directions, but he had a kind face and the clear blue eyes of a much younger man.
Not only that, but we were also sitting on either side of an oak desk in what looked like a well-furnished office or study.
"This is quite incredible," I said. I feel as if I have stepped into a different story."
"And so, you have, Peregrine, in a way. You are now in a place that some people call the subtext, where the more attentive reader searches for hidden meanings, and we have bobbed down here for a while to allow ourselves room to think. I had to send dear old Willum for a lie-down. Working in the shop all these years has taken its toll. I fear age has finally caught up with him, and his mind tends to wander."
"Who are you? I must say, you look like Mr. Albert."
"I am Ernest, brother of Albert, whom you have already met. We are co-owners of this establishment. Ernest by name and earnest by nature, as my old mother used to say, I knew you were the boy we had chosen to open the Green Door, when I saw you entering the shop, although I had not seen you since you were a baby. I must say you have grown into a handsome young man."
I felt embarrassed, but Ernest smiled to put me at my ease.
"Back then" he said reminiscently," the portal travel business was at its peak, but as time passed, the market became more difficult, and we had to trade down a notch. Some older staff, such as Mr. Longfellow, found it hard to adjust, but we must adapt to a changing society and become more 'egalitarian,' if I have used the word correctly.
"I think so," I said, but that was all; the old chap would not let me get a word in edgeways.
"Thank you, Peregrine. I am afraid I have fallen behind in my English grammar. I have not seen a dictionary since Robert Cawdrey's A Table Alphabeticall. It is not classical work by any means.
"It was when I last visited Earth Major, London, in the year 1604, according to their calendar. Albert and I had just been to one of their new-fangled coffee shops. Strong on coffee but weak on conversation. Us hicks from the backwoods, as people thought of us in those days, had been expecting witty rapport and bon mots. But for all their boasting about culture, the clientele were fat bores with serious personal hygiene problems.
"Mr. Ernest! Please let me speak!"
"Yes, sorry, old man's disease. I think 'garrulous' is the correct adjective, as in the example of 'garrulous taxi driver.' Do you find them excessively talkative, Peregrine? Rattling on about this and that when all you want is to get to your destination. It's enough to drive you mad. I expect that the boredom of the job makes them do it, but… "
"Mr. Earnest!"
"Sorry."
"Thank you. Now you just said that you chose me to open the Green Door, but why me? I'm nothing special."
"But of course, you are special, Peregrine, and we looked after you when you were young, without anybody knowing. We monitored your childhood and made sure you had the best food to eat. Both of us wanted to give you a sporting chance of success. You liked your food when you were younger; I expect, Peregrine, plenty of choices and big helpings."
"Yes, we always had a well-stocked larder, as I remember."
"And the box of chocolates with your name on it that arrived every month?"
"Yes, I thought they must have been from great-uncle Ted, but I didn't know his address to send a thank-you letter."
"From us, dear boy, and packed with enough love and goodness to build up the strength of your emotional side, although sadly, we could not intervene directly to improve your home life, but that is now all in the past. We did everything we could to ensure you were strong enough in body and mind to survive the rigours of the quest."
"What quest?"
"Later, dear boy, all will be revealed in time, but you must have patience."
"Can't you tell me anything at all? Is it anything to do with those portals Mr. Longfellow showed me?"
"Just driftwood that lot, and not worth a bean," he said dismissively.
"But why did he try to sell me one? Didn't he know who I was?"
"Poor Willum didn't recognize you, Peregrine. He lost his last pair of spectacles a month ago and couldn't afford to replace them. He can hardly see his hand in front of his face, but he knows every square inch of the shop and navigates it so well that you would never guess."
"But he read the special conditions from the contract to me."
"Memory, Peregrine, memory, he knows that contract off by heart. As for Albert, he is a little deaf and misheard your name because of the sound of Aunt Gladys's ancient vacuum cleaner. She couldn't have heard either, or I don't know what would have happened. Luckily, she doesn't know you by sight."
I was intrigued by his obvious respect for Aunt Gladys and her apparent abilities.
"Is she really your aunt?"
"Oh yes, she was my father's stepsister, but Gladys is not her real name. She was born on Earth Major in 1771 as a French noblewoman, 'Comtesse Marie De LaPorte.'
"She came of age in 1789. It was not a particularly good year for the gentry. It was the start of the French Revolution, and a beastly time to be an aristocrat. Her boyfriend was a British prince, and they gave each other code names to avoid the attention of the revolutionaries. Unfortunately, a journalist blew their cover, and the revolutionaries captured her boyfriend and executed him in Le Règne de la Terreur of 1793. Marie fled to our world and became the legal ward of my father, a distant relative. The LaPorte family had several large investments, and Marie inherited the lot. She was happy to hand over the running of the business to my father, a man she called grandpa. Marie took the name 'Gladys' in memory of her late boyfriend, but we have always called her 'Aunty,' since she took care of Albert and me as children. Do not be deceived by her eccentric ways. Peregrine, Aunty, and Albert have an extraordinary ability to travel through dimensions without using a portal. Both will become valuable allies if you succeed in opening the Green Door to the 'World of Fiction' and other worlds in that fantastical dimension. It is the most challenging of tasks, but we feel that you have the personal qualities to succeed.
Ernest got to his feet.
"Well, I hope I have made everything quite clear, but that is enough for today. You have had quite enough information to absorb as it is; you must have something to eat and a good night's sleep. Tomorrow, you must complete the Portal Code of Practice with Albert. I don't know his agenda, but Albert will introduce you to new and innovative ideas in his own way, and do not let him fool you, Peregrine; all that playing the old buffer is just one of his elaborate jokes. He aspired to be an actor when he was younger and is a particularly good mimic. He is also a very accomplished scholar and an expert in all matters relating to inter-dimensional travel.
"There is a great deal to learn, Peregrine, and it will cause you to question every assumption that you hold regarding the fundamental laws of physics and the nature of reality. You must temporarily suspend your sense of disbelief and keep an open mind. The universe contains wonders you can hardly imagine, but it will take time for you to assimilate the new knowledge. I think you should stay here from now on. We have wonderfully comfortable rooms, and Aunty will see to all your needs. You can go back home for your clothes. Tell your mother you will be away for a while, and do not worry. Your room will be ready when you get back, and I have made an appointment for you to see Albert in his room tomorrow morning after breakfast. No time for questions: Off you go, chop, chop, best foot forward, and Peregrine?"
"Yes?"
"Don't dilly-dally on the way."
He burst into laughter and gave a little skip of self-congratulation for what he considered to be a well-delivered quip. Ernest was not as earnest as he would have me believe. His mother would have been proud.