Chapter 28: Bruce Banner's Calm and a Recipe for Disaster (Literally)
Bruce Banner. The man who just wanted a quiet life, a cup of tea, and maybe not to turn into a giant green rage monster. Adam had a soft spot for Bruce. He was currently off-grid, probably somewhere serene in India, trying to find his inner zen.
"Poor Bruce. Always on the run. Let's make sure his zen stays… zen-like. And maybe add a little extra zen for good measure."
[DAILY WISH DAYS ACCUMULATION: +1]
He used a low-cost wish, picturing Bruce, cross-legged, meditating.
[WISH GRANTED: BRUCE BANNER EXPERIENCES SUDDEN, UNEXPLAINED FEELING OF ZEN. COST: 15 WISH DAYS.]
He imagined a sudden, calming breeze blowing through Bruce's meditation spot, carrying with it the faint scent of freshly baked cookies and a whisper of "everything's gonna be alright, big guy." Bruce would probably just attribute it to a particularly good meditation session.
Back in Queens, Adam and Aunt May decided to try a new recipe. A "fiery authentic vindaloo" from a cookbook May had found. Adam, ever the optimist, thought, "What could go wrong? It's just… spices."
Everything went wrong.
The kitchen quickly became a war zone of coughing, sputtering, and exaggerated facial expressions. May, usually stoic, was fanning her face with a dishtowel, tears streaming from her eyes. "Adam! My mouth is on fire! I think I'm breathing lava!"
Adam, who had just inhaled a cloud of chili powder, felt his own throat constrict. "Oh, god. This is it. This is how I die. Drowning in spice. System, help! Funny save me from this culinary inferno!"
[DANGER DETECTED FOR HOST! INITIATING RANDOMIZED LIFE-SAVING PROTOCOL.]
He felt a sudden, violent sneeze erupt. It wasn't just a sneeze; it was a full-body, cartoon-level explosion of air that sent him careening backwards. He landed with a soft thud directly into a pile of freshly laundered, fluffy cushions that had inexplicably appeared behind him. He looked like a very spicy, very confused human cannonball.
[HOST SAVED! CURRENT STATUS: SUFFERING FROM COMICALLY VIOLENT SNEEZE, BUT LANDED SOFTLY ON CUSHIONS. COST: 25 WISH DAYS.]
"You know, System," Adam mumbled, still coughing, "your saves are always so… dramatic. And cushion-y."
May, still fanning herself, looked at him, then at the cushions, then burst out laughing, a watery, gasping sound. "Oh, Adam! You look like a very spicy, very fluffy disaster!"
Adam grinned weakly. "Glad I could entertain. Now, about this lava problem…"
"Alright, System. Time for the big guns. The anti-spice weapon."
[WISH GRANTED: 'SUPERNATURALLY SOOTHING' MILK APPEARS. COST: 10 WISH DAYS.]
Two glasses, filled with what appeared to be perfectly normal milk, materialized on the counter. May and Adam stared at them.
"Where did those come from?" May asked, bewildered.
"Must be the universe's way of saying 'I'm sorry for the spice'," Adam said, grabbing a glass. He took a gulp. The fiery sensation in his mouth vanished instantly, replaced by a cool, soothing calm. May tried hers, and her eyes widened.
"Oh, my! It's… it's miraculous!"
Adam nodded, a satisfied smirk on his face. "Miraculous, and ten wish days well spent. Next time, May, we stick to toast. Or maybe just order pizza."
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