'Coincidence, it must be a coincidence!'
After getting glared at by Paimon like that, whether it was a coincidence or not, Victor Wang was ready to obediently go to sleep.
"Little Wen."
["What is it!"]
"Remember to wake me up early tomorrow morning. 5 AM is way too early, I can't get up... zzZ"
No alarm clock? — Find Little Wen. Though larger clocks usually had timers, how could one carry a clock everywhere while traveling? Thankfully, there's a pocket watch for checking the time, and Little Wen for setting alarms!
["Oh..."] Little Wen knew it was going to be another sleepless night… though it didn't actually sleep to begin with.
So, it just waited.
Compared to the hundred thousand years it had already endured, this time spent following its master as a sword spirit was far more interesting. It could now see the world from a human perspective—fascinating and fulfilling!
But the nights were especially hard to endure...
That made it a bit gloomy about why it couldn't sleep. Thankfully, it had already survived countless long hours—just one more night wasn't that long... really... And after enduring each night, it would get nearly double the outdoor adventure time.
As it lay there contemplating life, suddenly its master twitched violently, kicking his legs a few times. His right hand tried to rise but dropped halfway through.
Was he dreaming? He must be dreaming!
Humans were amazing. Not everyone could write captivating stories just with imagination, but everyone could dream vivid, fantastical dreams—bizarre, boundless dreams.
Anything that didn't exist in the real world could appear in a dream. Didn't that mean humans could construct entire worlds out of thin air?!
That made Little Wen, who could never escape reality, incredibly envious.
It leaned in to observe its master's expression, trying to guess what kind of dream he was having. With the mask off, all five of the purple-black eyes on his forehead were exposed. Although eerie, it wasn't afraid.
It remembered spending quite some time among Hilichurls. There was once a Mitachurl who used its still-ore-form self as a whetstone and pot base. One night, under fire slime light, the Mitachurl secretly peeked at its own reflection under the mask in a stream. Though not the brightest, his tears caused ripples across the water.
Hilichurls really were pitiful…
It saw its master's brows furrow again, legs twitching. His right hand raised again.
"Paimon!"
["Hmm! Hmm hmm hmm?"]
It muttered, 'You're even dreaming about her? Hmph! I'm ignoring you now!'
Then Victor Wang's hand dropped again. His brows relaxed, and a faint smile appeared at the corner of his lips.
['Ugh! I really am ignoring you!'] Little Wen turned its head away angrily.
Finally, as it neared five AM, it leaned by Victor Wang's ear and shouted, ["Master! Wake up!"]
Victor Wang woke up instantly, sitting up and rubbing his head. He had just had a ridiculous dream, but the moment he opened his eyes, it all shattered into fragments. The only vivid scene he remembered was being pinned against a wall by a burly Paimon choking him out—luckily Lumine arrived just in time to flatten Paimon.
Was that a good omen? With Lumine protecting him, no need to fear Paimon!
He glanced at the pocket watch. 4:46 AM. No time for mental focus training—he'd have to move that to another free slot later.
As usual, he reinserted the unruly Little Wen back into the scabbard, tidied his appearance, and set out for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
Though it was early, breakfast stalls and some produce vendors had already begun their day. The Yanshang Teahouse across from the Wangshu Inn was lit, and so was the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.
That undertaker girl he'd seen yesterday, the one serving as a ferryman, seemed to have stood quietly outside the parlor all night. When Victor Wang approached, she didn't speak, merely stepped aside to clear the entrance.
Inside the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, even at 4 or 5 AM, there were more staff than during the day. The sound of pen scratching and abacuses clacking filled the air—it seemed even busier than usual.
Hu Tao sat in the main hall reading an ancient book, yawning now and then. Her hat rested neatly on the table beside her—she looked like she'd only just woken up.
"Mm... Still ten minutes to five. Arriving early is a good habit."
Upon seeing Victor Wang, she retrieved three documents from a side counter. "Take a careful look. Sign once you're sure everything's correct."
The first two were thick funeral contracts detailing the circumstances of death for Victor Wang and Dainsleif, outlining the funeral procedures and itemized costs.
The contracts were long, so she gave a summary:
"Basically, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor will handle all arrangements for you both. You just pay and report the time of death. If it happens outside Liyue, you'll need to report the place of death too.
"As for costs, your and your friend's 'Reservation-Style Premium Custom Funeral Package' comes to 500,000 Mora per person. The cross-border corpse retrieval is half-price, so the total is 1.5 million Mora.
We also considered cases where your body isn't found: you can set up a bank account. If it turns into a cenotaph, we'll deposit the extra Mora there—or we'll buy paper money and burn it for you."
"Wow, so considerate! Then I won't bother reading—just let me sign."
"You'd better read it. Since customers booking funerals usually want to control the process, we offer optional features.
Like music selection, coffin color and style, desired burial weather or date, preferred epitaph phrasing... If you don't pick, we'll use all the default settings~"
"Oh?" Victor Wang flipped quickly to the last few pages and found the options she mentioned. Most he ignored—but the funeral music was a must.
He circled 'Call It a Day in Liyue.'
"Wow! You've got taste! That song's lively and full of poetic charm. Too bad no one's ever picked it. I was thinking of using it when I die."
"Right?"
Victor Wang turned to Dainsleif's contract. His pen hovered over 'Moon in One's Cup' for a while, but eventually chose the more serious 'Legends Swept Away.'
My friend's had it tough. Let's not mess with him—let him go in peace."
Hu Tao nodded. "Respectful. Understood."
The final sheet was thin and short, with only two sentences: "I hereby swear never to reveal any information regarding the 'boundary of life and death' at Wuwang Hill in Liyue to uninformed parties. If this contract is violated, Wangsheng Funeral Parlor is permitted to claim an appropriate price."
Victor Wang glanced at Hu Tao in confusion. "What about my friend's version? Do I sign for him too?"
"Our guest consultant once said: 'Adhering to a contract means adhering to fairness.' Tell your Khaenri'ahn friend that if he leaks secrets about the life-death boundary, then I will leak his identity and the secrets of the Khaenri'ah people. Fair deal.
But you haven't revealed much yet—so this paper leaves me proof if you ever do."
"Alright." Victor Wang scrawled his name. "I thought contracts this serious would come with a ceremony. If I break it, does Morax come for me?"
"Hehe~ you overthink. Many believe the Geo Archon is so known for 'respecting contracts' that He monitors all of them.
But the truth is—so many contracts are made daily, and so many broken. Do you think the Lord of Geo has time to punish every violator?
His divine attention must be reserved for greater matters. Maybe He passed away this time simply from exhaustion.
If all contracts needed His enforcement, wouldn't the world fall apart now that He's gone?"
Hu Tao waved the slim contract in her hand. "This is just proof that if you break the agreement, I can beat you, cripple you, or even send you off—with no consequences~"
"Uh..."
After Victor Wang paid off the full funeral expenses for himself and Dainsleif, Hu Tao adjusted her reddish-brown hair, placed the hat back on her head, and cheerfully pushed open the funeral parlor's main doors.
"Come on, come on! The earlier we go, the sooner we're back!"
"By the way, is there any reason we're leaving at 5 AM?"
"You really do overthink things. It's just because the journey is long. This way we can be back in time for dinner… Though asking now is a bit late—you don't need a carriage, right?"
"Mm… A regular carriage isn't even as fast as running."
Teleporting was even faster. A single jump back to Stone Gate, and Wuwang Hill was just a step away.
Victor Wang had tried carrying items through teleportation. The rule he'd figured out: inanimate objects—fine; living beings—not a chance.
Inanimate objects could teleport with him if they were in contact. Special cases like Little Wen could too.
Living beings? Absolutely not. They couldn't be pulled into the teleportation space.
First, he couldn't control another lifeform's spirit. Even if he could, without elemental energy, they'd be bounced out by the anchor point.
In other words: if he couldn't teleport, no one could carry him through; but if he could, then he didn't need anyone else to.
Totally useless.
If even Keqing couldn't teleport, Hu Tao certainly couldn't.
They'd just have to run together.