The dorm room was thick with awkward silence.
Chen was still holding his cheek, looking like his entire worldview had been slapped into a different dimension.
Li Wei was trying to melt into the wall.
Feng Yue stood there, a goddess of cosmic power who currently felt like a stressed-out babysitter.
She needed to get the arrogant young master out of the room.
She focused a tiny, infinitesimal sliver of her qi on Chen.
Just a little spiritual pressure.
A psychic nudge that said, You have somewhere else to be. Right now.
Chen suddenly shivered.
"You know what," he said, shaking his head as if to clear it. "I just remembered. I have to... go... iron my socks."
He didn't even look at Li Wei as he scrambled out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Feng Yue let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.
Finally.
Alone with the idiot.
It was time to explain.
**
"Li Wei," she began, her voice calm and measured. "We need to discuss your... condition."
Li Wei flinched. "Is it contagious?"
Feng Yue's eye twitched.
"No," she said through gritted teeth. "We need to talk about your cultivation. Specifically, dual cultivation."
He just stared at her, his face a perfect blank.
She sighed. This was going to be difficult.
"Think of your soul as a... a teacup," she started, trying to find a simple metaphor.
"Okay," he said slowly. "A teacup."
"And your power, your qi, is the tea," she continued. "Right now, your teacup is cracked. It can't hold very much tea without spilling."
"I don't like tea," Li Wei offered helpfully. "Can it be a soda can?"
She was going to kill him.
She was going to incinerate him with phoenix fire and scatter his ashes across the seven realms.
"Fine," she snapped. "It's a soda can. A cracked soda can."
"And my qi is the soda?"
"Yes."
"What flavor?"
Feng Yue screamed internally.
"It doesn't matter what flavor it is!"
"I think it does," he mumbled. "Like, if it's grape, that's just gross."
She took a deep, calming breath, channeling centuries of meditative practice.
"My point," she said, her voice dangerously level, "is that my soda can... is very full. Overflowing, in fact. I need to pour some of my soda into your can to help you... seal the cracks."
Li Wei's eyes went wide.
His brain, which had the processing power of a potato, took her words and ran them through its own special, horny-by-accident filter.
Pouring her soda... into his can?
Oh.
Oh, wow.
A slow, crimson blush started to creep up his neck.
"Is... is that a metaphor?" he stammered.
"Of course it's a metaphor, you imbecile!"
"Because it sounds a little..."
He trailed off, his face now the color of a ripe tomato.
A single, perfect drop of blood dripped from his nose.
Then another.
Then a whole stream.
It was a gusher. A full-on, panic-induced nosebleed of epic proportions.
It dripped onto the floor, forming a small, rapidly growing puddle of mortification.
Feng Yue stared at the mess.
She had faced down armies of the damned.
She had battled krakens in the abyssal depths.
But nothing in her millennia of existence had prepared her for this.
The chosen one was being defeated by his own suggestive imagination.
**
"Stop that!" she commanded, pointing a finger at his nose.
"I can't help it!" he wailed, pinching his nostrils shut. "You said the thing about the soda cans!"
She needed to get this over with.
Quickly.
"Forget the soda!" she said, striding toward him. "We'll start with a simple qi transfer. It's just energy. Nothing more. Give me your hand."
Li Wei looked at her outstretched hand like it was a venomous snake.
A very beautiful, very intimidating venomous snake.
"Just... just my hand?" he squeaked.
"Yes. Just your hand."
Hesitantly, nervously, he reached out.
His hand was clammy.
Hers was warm, almost hot, a steady, comforting heat.
The moment their skin touched, he felt it.
A jolt.
A current of pure, raw power flowed from her into him. It was warm and wild and felt like sunshine and explosions.
Whoa, Yin Mode thought. Holding hands with a girl is... electric.
The lights in the dorm room flickered.
His laptop on the desk suddenly turned on, its screen displaying a single, cryptic message: "Hello, World!"
"Focus," Feng Yue commanded, though her own heart was beating a little faster than usual. His chaotic energy was surprisingly... potent.
She pushed a little more of her phoenix qi into him.
It was a gentle, controlled stream.
To Li Wei, it felt like a lightning strike.
The half-eaten bag of soggy shrimp chips on his desk suddenly burst into flames.
The microwave in the corner of the room beeped to life and began cooking a bag of popcorn that wasn't even inside it.
The Wi-Fi for the entire dormitory building crashed.
"What are you doing?" Feng Yue demanded, feeling his energy spike erratically.
"I'm not doing anything!" he yelped. "You're the one with the magic hands!"
His nervousness was a feedback loop. The more power she gave him, the more he panicked. The more he panicked, the more his own latent chaos energy reacted, causing reality to warp around them.
The energy transfer intensified.
And then, something inside him shifted.
The panicked, chaotic energy suddenly vanished.
It was replaced by a cold, sharp, analytical presence.
The golden light flickered in his eyes.
Yang Mode was online.
Fascinating, the cold voice of reason echoed in his mind. The subject's qi possesses a unique thermal signature consistent with avian mythology. The energy transfer is inefficient. I can optimize this.
He felt the flow of energy from Feng Yue.
He didn't just feel it.
He understood it.
He saw the equations behind it.
Optimal energy absorption requires a 14.7% increase in rhythmic hormonal response, he calculated. The coefficient of pleasure is directly proportional to the efficiency of the qi transfer. I must adjust the parameters.
**
Feng Yue felt the change instantly.
One moment, she was holding the hand of a terrified, flailing idiot.
The next, she was connected to a being of immense, controlled intellect.
His energy, once chaotic, was now pulling her qi with a terrifying, calculated precision.
It was no longer just a transfer.
It was a... a consumption.
And it felt... good.
Alarmingly good.
A strange, hot flush spread through her.
She felt her cheeks burn.
She, the Phoenix Princess, was blushing.
And when a phoenix blushes, it's not a subtle affair.
Her cheeks didn't just turn pink.
They literally smoldered.
A thin wisp of smoke curled up from her skin.
The curtains next to her, touched by the sheer heat of her embarrassment, suddenly burst into flames.
**
The fire alarm shrieked.
The sprinklers kicked on, dousing the room in a miserable, lukewarm spray.
The moment was broken.
Yang Mode vanished.
Yin Mode returned, finding himself soaking wet, holding hands with a beautiful girl, while the room burned around them.
"AHHHH!" he screamed.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Heavy fists pounded on the dorm room door.
"FIRE DEPARTMENT! OPEN UP!"
The door burst open, and two burly firefighters in full gear stormed in, axes at the ready.
They stopped.
They stared at the scene.
Two teenagers, soaking wet from the sprinklers, awkwardly holding hands.
The smoldering remains of a bag of shrimp chips.
The charred curtains.
The still-popping microwave.
The lead firefighter, a man with a magnificent mustache and world-weary eyes, lowered his axe.
He looked at Li Wei.
He looked at Feng Yue.
He looked at the general state of supernatural chaos.
He sighed, a deep, tired sound.
He keyed the mic on his shoulder.
"Dispatch, false alarm. Looks like some kids were just... studying."
He gave them a long, deadpan stare.
"Biology?" Li Wei offered, his voice a hopeful squeak.
The fire chief's expression did not change.
"Sir," he said, his voice flat.
"This is a math dorm."
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