Loving you in secret is my greatest heartache, a burden I bear with every breath, and a sorrow I will carry to my grave.
Yes, I will carry this with me till my last breath — willingly.
Because I know I can never love anyone the way I love you.
And I also know… I will never be able to call you mine.
How could it even be possible?
You are the moon, and I am the ocean.
We are worlds apart.
You're from a wealthy world… and I'm just a poor girl.
Even if I forget all that…
At the end of the day,you love Alina.
Tears fell from my eyes.
As I kept thinking about all this, I wiped my face. After all that effort, the black stains on my face started to come off. I looked down at my dress — it was covered in black marks too. How can I stay like this the whole day? I can't even go home now.
I came out of the washroom. Everyone around me was looking and laughing. Ugh, what can I even say?
I went to Lisa ma'am. She was sitting and explaining the tasks for the day. I approached her from behind and called out. At first, she was shocked when she saw me — like "What happened to you?" Then I explained everything. Ma'am listened and started laughing.
"Well done, Jiya! You've really pulled something off," she said. What could I say?
Then ma'am told me, "There's an outdoor shoot for Alex today, and I can't go… so I need you to go."
Wait… did I hear that right? I have to go? Whyyyy?? I don't want to go!
I know what you all will say. I'm already crazy about Alex, and now I have to go see him in person again? The thing is, whenever I see him face-to-face, I lose control of myself. And the things he said yesterday and the day before still hurt.
Yes, I've forgiven the one I love… but I just can't forget those words.
Ma'am gave me the address and said, "Go there on time. But before that, change your clothes."
I replied, "It'll take time if I go home to change."
Ma'am said, "There's no time — I'll give you something to wear."
She handed me a top and jeans. Since I live in Bangladesh, I'm really not used to wearing short dresses. Even here, I wear baggy pants, jeans with shirts, t-shirts, or midi-length dresses. But now ma'am gave me an off-shoulder top and a pair of jeans.
I've never worn anything off-shoulder in my life. How can I wear this? I really don't want to.
I asked, "Ma'am, is there anything else I could wear instead?"
She said, "You have 10 minutes. Do what you need to do."
What a situation! I had no choice but to wear it.
Then ma'am added, "I've given you Alex's number. When you get there, call him to find out where exactly he is. And please, I beg you — don't do anything weird."
Huuu, these days I keep messing things up more and more… what can I even do now?
But you know what? The good news is — I got Alex's number! Yaaaay 😁
I said, "Okay, ma'am," took the clothes, and went to change. It felt so uncomfortable — I can't even explain. I kept feeling like the top was slipping off from my shoulders and chest. I had to fix it again and again.
Somehow, I made it to the address ma'am gave me.
It was the set of Alex's new movie shoot. And guess what — who do you think the actress might be?
Yes, you all guessed it right — Alina Mathew. Common answer.
People adore them together. Alex has been acting for 10 years now, and in all that time, he's only acted with two other actresses — and both of those movies flopped.
Alina's in the same boat. She entered the industry just a little before Alex, but none of her early projects were major hits either.
Anyway, saw everyone busy working. It was the first time I shoot.
The shooting is taking place outside. I can see a beautiful lake in front of me. There's a bench right by the lake. All around, there are lots of rosebushes, with many flowers in bloom. Some petals have fallen to the ground too.
It was such a stunning place.
I looked around carefully—what a beautiful place. It felt just like a fairy tale.
I was looking for Alex but couldn't find him. I didn't even remember the number I had saved.
I was about to ask someone, "Where's Alex?"
But then, in just a few moments, everyone gathered around the bench.
They set up the camera, mic, everything.
A little while later, I saw Alina walking in, wearing a soft blue dress.
She came and sat on the bench.
But where was Alex?
I still couldn't see him.
And my top kept slipping off again and again.
Ugh, what am I even doing?
As I kept adjusting my top, I finally saw Alex coming.
Ohhhh my God—he looked so good.
He was so beautiful that beauty itself would be shy in a little while.
White shirt and black pants.
Shirt sleeves folded up.
He was smiling as he walked, chatting with someone beside him.
Suddenly, everything around me slowed down.
A cold breeze was blowing.
A violin was playing.
Blue butterflies fluttered all around.
Then, out of nowhere, one butterfly landed on his cheek.
Nooo, don't sit there—that's my husband!!💗
Husband?
Inner voice: "Just keep dreaming…
The girl sitting right there in front—Alina—Alex loves her."
That's it. That's enough to ruin all my beautiful moments.
The slow motion, the butterflies, the violin—all disappeared in an instant.
I saw Alex sit down beside Alina.
The director said, "Hold hands."
They held hands so perfectly.
Everyone on set clapped.
They're all fans of Alexia.
Alex + Alina.
Shooting started.
To be honest, when we watch romantic scenes on screen — holding hands, whispering sweet things — it all looks so beautiful.
But the reality? One person holds the mic close, another is blowing air with a hairdryer. And of course, the actors forgetting their lines — that's inevitable.
Actors and actresses go through so much. They have to remember so many dialogues.
One scene just finished shooting.
Right after the scene ended, Alex and Alina ran off like kids, playfully chasing each other.
They've now disappeared into their own little world.
Off camera, the two of them laugh and talk so sweetly together. They cherish each other's company deeply.
When you see them, you realize how beautiful love can be.
When you see them, you understand fairy tales do come true — because they genuinely love each other.The true meaning of love can be understood by watching them.
There's a sense of peace between them.
They are truly lucky to have this in their fate
Because not everyone is fortunate enough to have it. Exactly like fairy tale. ✨
But seeing that… it made my chest hurt so much.
Why is this happening?
Inner voice:
Because you're a one-sided lover.
That's right.
One-sided love is like a white marker on a whiteboard — it leaves a mark, but no one ever sees it.
The real meaning of one sided love is felt when you love someone… and their heart belongs to someone else.
Suddenly, tears rolled down my cheeks.
"It's nothing, Jiya. You know they love each other then,why are you this hurt?"
"It's okay."
Just then, Alex looked toward me.
When he saw me, he started walking in my direction.
I quickly wiped away my tears.
He came up to me and said,
"Lisa didn't come?"
I fell silent for a moment after seeing him.
Words wouldn't come out.
Alex said again,
"Hello? I'm talking to you — where's Lisa?"
I somehow managed to compose myself and replied,
"She… she couldn't come. She was busy, so she sent me instead."
Then I lowered my eyes.
I couldn't bear to look into those eyes.
I couldn't bear to see that face up close.
At that moment, my dress started slipping down slightly, and I was adjusting it.
Alex said,
"There's not much work today, so do whatever you feel like. Pack-up will take time."
I replied,
"Okay, sir. I'm here."
He walked away.
And the entire time, I spoke with my eyes lowered.
The more I see this man,
The deeper I fall in love with him.
I promised I will never stop loving you… until my last breath.
Even if it's one-sided love…