Nikola knew that his little trips were all well and good, but there was a bit of a problem.
He had more carved bones, statuettes, and what have you than he knew what to do with. His rune crafting was not going so well.
Runes, apparently, needed from you to be able to draw.
Nikola could not draw stick figures to save his life.
Then there was the problem with the Lich, who was apparently still going to the library when he wanted to.
So, Nikola devised a plan.
It was a good plan. A bold plan.
Which begs the question, why did he end up tied up and with a gag in his mouth, as a very handsome necromancer went from shelf to shelf, picking books so, as if they were girl scout cookies?
"You know, there are a lot of things I would have forgiven," the Lich told him from the Medical Section of the library. "But goblin anti-ghost bones being thrown at me? Do you even know how much it hurts stepping on one?"
"Maybe you should invest in shoes," Nikola wanted to retort but could not.
Him having a gag in his mouth and all.
"And not just that! You don't even know the full story with the librarian, but you still thought I was the bad guy!"
Nikola thought that this was nonsense. The librarian had surely not turned himself into a goblin.
Or asked to be eaten by goblins.
The Lich, however, was in a chatty mood.
"And seeing as you are a hero," the man continued so, as if Nikola had told him a grand joke. "You should be exterminating goblins, not siding with them and turning their therapy sessions into a lucrative business!"
Nikola snorted.
By this logic, his actions were quite valid. After all, he was meant to kill and fight Lichs as well.
Even ones with a full mane of red, curly hair and the most charming green eyes he had seen on a man.
Nikola knew he had a problem. The locals thought of him as someone meant for a princess and ignored him when he flirted.
But the Lich had tied him up in record time and even petted him on the cheek.
He had the dry spell of the century. He was probably imagining stuff.
But, darn, how he wished for a bit of… exercise.
"With a pretty face like yours you should be a king now! The princess is even searching for you."
Nikola didn't want to be reminded of that harpy.
There was nothing wrong with her on the outside. She was a typical Disney princess, if there was ever one.
But the fact that she was a five-times widow with rumors about her being a master herbalist had told things to Nikola's survival instinct that made him ignore her messages and missives for him to come and visit her.
"I am not doing anyone any harm," the Lich continued. Nikola snorted. He was beginning to lose the feeling in his legs and hands. The Lich was so full of it! "I am just trying to give my zombies the education they deserve!"
Nikola blinked. Wait, that was new. So, Lich educated the shambling corpses that rose from the dead now?
"My dream, dear transmigrator," the Lich continued, as he stopped before Nikola, a stack of books in his hands. "Is to get a law firm entirely manned by zombies!"
The Lich was in the same boat as him, the brunette realized. With the same drive to not end up being eaten.
Nikola began to begrudgingly respect that.
"I will take the gag out," the Lich said, his delicate hand petting him on the cheek once more. "If you promise not to shout."
Nikola nodded.
The Lich took off the gag.
"You son of an elderberry!" Nikola hissed. He had promised not to shout, not that he would forgo the opportunity to cuss at the infernal being.
Nikola was a man of his word, if nothing else.
"Just you wait until I get more bones! I will learn how to handle the undead! Then you will be sorry! Just let the librarian's ghost move on!"
"Look," the Lich was conflicted. He didn't know whether elderberries were a bad thing or not. But judging by the tone and the narrowed eyes, he figured that Nikola had just cussed out his family. "I am not keeping the librarian's ghost in here! It is keeping itself in here, trying not to pass over, because then it will go to hell for stealing a lollipop from a baby!"
Nikola blinked.
The Lich nodded solemnly.
The librarian's ghost let out a hiss.
"Ok… send it there so that people hire a new librarian, then." His life has gotten so off the rails that Nikola was ready to believe just about anything now.
And the fact that the Lich had slightly gray skin but not a wrinkle in sight despite being about as thin as it was healthy made Nikola consider other things.
Things that had to do with chocolate, cream, and a lava cake during a romantic dinner.
Man, he was desperate.
"I can't just do that. The baby who got his lollipop stolen has to forgive first," the Lich told him, as he began to untie him. "It was quite the emotional trauma; I'll have you know. The baby grew up to be a tax collector. I can come with you, for your protection, and try to get the man to drop the grudge, but… that is about as likely as the man not evicting an indebted family from their family home."
"How bad is it, exactly?" Nikola asked who didn't like his chances but wanted to do some PR for the goblins while he was at it.
"He has a 100% success rate in collecting overdue taxes. I suspect that he does not have a heart. Or if he does, it is not out of flesh and blood."
Nikola sighed.
Well, if worst came to worst he could always sic the goblins on the tax collector. Then write a book about him exposing all of his inhumane transgressions against those who had taken a loan from the state without reading the terms and conditions.
Which was pretty much everyone in their little fantasy world.
The air smelled of revolution and expensive cologne.
Nikola wanted justice and someone to bone.