The one thing Nikola had not expected when he went to the butcher's shop was to see it empty.
He went to the counter, looked at the desolated glass cases, and asked himself if the end times were coming.
"We don't have meat," the butcher told him with a happy smile. "The town's folk have bought it all up!"
"That is problematic," Nikola said, realizing what might have happened.
The town's folk, now scared that they would end up without food on the table, had bought up all the meat and stockpiled it in freezing runes.
Nikola now had two options before of him:
He could beg the butcher to butcher some animals on the spot and wait for the meat, or he could keep his dignity and offer a quest to some hunters.
Either way, he knew that he wouldn't be able to get his delivery on time.
He would try, of course, but the most obvious outcome of it all was that he would fry trying.
"Please, tell me where the closest dragon lair is." Nikola knew one thing for certain.
There was a way to kill a dragon without dying.
Sure, they breathed fire, but even the best furnace ended up clogged when given too much fuel.
"A dragon? You think that a dragon's meat is needed, when you can just wait for tomorrow?"
"I don't have until tomorrow," Nikola said, as he looked at the map by the glass cases. "Where is the dragon?"
The butcher showed off a small cave in the middle of nowhere. It was right under a peak.
Nikola nodded. He took some chili red pepper from the stand and brought it to the cash register.
"What… are you going to kill the dragon with red pepper?" The butcher asked, his eyebrow raised.
"Yes!"
And Nikola had never been surer of something in his entire life!
Fire might not kill a dragon, but chilly red peppers were no normal fire.
They were an eternal inferno in someone's nose and soul.
****
The forest stretched before him. He thought about all the meat he could get from the dragon.
Thought about trying to get all the dragons from here to Eagle's Nest, the capital city of their little country of Duria.
But that was neither here nor there.
He did what he could. Making sure that he kept a good pace. But when the mountain loomed before him, with only a mine's entrance carved in the rock, Nikola knew that he had to do something drastic.
He knocked on the mine. Hoping that there would be dwarves inside.
The door opened up a bit. There was a gnome on the other end.
"Yes? Do you need a place to hide from the debt collectors?" The gnome asked.
Nikola knew that most gnomes were poor. The ones who wanted to work were forced into gardens, so they could stay still all day long and pretend to be ornaments.
That wasn't a fate he would wish on his worst enemy, let alone a creature that could talk.
"No. I am here to slay the dragon and get his meat," because, if there was one thing Nikola knew for certain, it was that the dragon would make tons of sausages.
"No! Please don't! We are paying him rent to get rid of the tax collectors!"
Something in Nikola's pragmatic black heart called out to him. He didn't want to get rid of the only salvation these creatures had, but he also didn't want to get turned into stew.
To have his bone marrow extracted for a hair mask was something that would stop him from moving on to the next great adventure.
Of that much, he was certain.
"Look, it is nothing personal," Nikola told the gnome, as he pushed the door open all the way and got himself inside. "I just need its meat."
The gnome took out a small kitchen knife.
Nikola knew that he had to negotiate.
"How about this?" The goblins were reformed, or as good as. Nikola was certain that they wouldn't mind hosting some gnomes in their tribal grounds. "You can move in with some goblins? They are going to protect you from the tax collectors!"
Because no tax collector was insane enough to try to wander into a goblin tribe.
The gnome blinked; it sized Nikola from head to toe.
"I don't think you can even kill the dragon. Will we have sanitation and houses with the goblins?"
"If by sanitation you mean a latrine and by housing you mean mud huts, then yes!"
Which was still more than most tax evaders could dream of.
"And the goblins won't try to eat us?" The gnome asked.
Nikola winced.
That was a very good question.
"If you help farm their fields, then I don't see why they would," Nikola told the gnome, as he began to walk inside the mine. "Now, how do I get to the dragon?"
"Turn left and then go over the bridge," the gnome knew to pick his battles. This might be a piss-poor adventurer, but he was still a human.
He could jet him through the still open mine door. Of that much, the little green-haired creature was certain.
Nikola followed the instructions. He climbed, found the dragon sleeping, and then dumped all the chili red pepper into its still open maw.
As soon as the dragon began to give out wails of pain and to sneeze, Nikola hid amidst the gold.
The dragon was searching for water.
It only had gold.
As it fell on the ground and began to heave, Nikola knew that soon, the creature would die.
He asked himself if it was ok for him to kill dragons so. Dragons who had even done a service to gnomes.
The dragon let out one last huff.
It was too late to think about such things now.
Nikola took the dragon and began to stuff him in his extended shopping bag by forcing it to stretch over the carcass.
Just as he finally shoved the dragon's head inside, he got a message:
One Dragon Soul absorbed! Pick your perk!
He looked through the options. It was either a physical or a mental skill.
He nodded to himself.
"Then, please, put all my new points in Negotiation!"
Because if the death of the dragon had taught him anything, it was that red pepper was deadly.
There was no reason why he should ever bother with a sword or shield. It was not like he was allowed to become a holy hero, after all.