"I'm alright," Lillian finally replied after a deep breath.
Resolved to push through, Lillian gathered her courage and met the eyes of the man, intensely gazing at her.
She gulped at the heat in his gaze.
Leo seemed much calmer than earlier, but his eyes still betrayed the calmness he was trying to portray.
Lillian could feel that in his mind, a lot of things had already happened between them. She gulped as she thought about the hard length she felt against her belly when they kissed.
'Is that the usual size? Will it really fit in? Isn't it too big? But what should I do if it hurts? I heard it may hurt when it's the first time.'
Lillian realized another hurdle. She didn't like being in pain, and she fully thought that with Leo, tonight might be fun. However, if it hurt instead, then tonight would be unforgettable for an entirely different reason.
Now she wished she could have done some research before going to the bar. But the free treat to go there was a one-time thing.
"It seems you're nervous. Shall we drink more wine first so you can relax?" Leo offered.
"Yes, I think that's for the best," Lillian replied, embarrassed that her nervousness was too obvious.
Leo sat beside her, leaving a small space between them, and poured more wine into her glass. He poured more for himself as well, and they clinked glasses.
Instead of beginning to do adult stuff like they were supposed to, they conversed more about random things and drank more wine.
They lost track of time just storytelling and drinking until, finally, they began kissing.
However...
Lillian was sure they tried to do some things, but it was her first time drinking a lot after a long while. Her mind was alert as usual, but she did not know her body was already more affected than she thought.
Forgetting that she had sleepless nights and was exhausted from work, Lillian ended up drinking more than her body could handle. She fell asleep before she knew it. Thus, they were not able to go all the way. But at least, she got to experience things she never did before.
Yet, in the morning, to her shock, after dining in his suite, Leo said he liked her and suddenly proposed to her.
"Lillian, I enjoyed last night and all the conversations we had. I look forward to a future with you. Will you marry me?" Leo said as he knelt in front of her with an expensive-looking ring in his hand.
"..."
Lillian was at a loss for words for a few seconds and thought it was a prank. She looked around, looking for hidden cameras or an audience. There was none, but she still asked, "This is a prank, right?"
"No, I mean it. I want to marry you. We can skip the dating phase and spend it while we are wed," Leo said.
Lillian was even more astonished. She could not comprehend why this man would suddenly say all these words. "I don't understand. We just met. We are practically still strangers. And we did not even go all the way last night."
"I do wish we could have gone all the way," Leo chuckled, much to Lillian's embarrassment since she was the one at fault for falling asleep. Leo rose and returned to his seat, then said, "But we kissed, did all other things. I enjoyed all of it, and I thought you did too. Or was I imagining things?"
Lillian felt the heat rush to her face even more. She suddenly wanted to hide somewhere. She had never been so bold in her life as to make out with a man she had just met and even do some naughty stuff with him. And she did enjoy all the things they did, especially his kisses and warm, firm embrace.
'But how can he talk about it without the least hint of embarrassment?!' Lillian covered her face with both hands.
Her inexperience might be showing, but she still couldn't help but feel shy about things like this. Lillian knew that these days, some teens who are still students had more experience than she did. But Lillian could never be like them. She could never risk doing such stuff at a young age, in fear of possible pregnancy in case she was among the 1-2% of failures in the 98-99% assurance that condoms and pills work. This time, she had savings and a high-paying job, so she at least had a buffer in case she got pregnant. Thus, she took the risk to sleep with Leo, but they did not go all the way in the end.
"See? I think we are compatible. I'm not usually this forward either when it comes to these things. But I don't want to simply part with you after this. Rest assured, we can take our time however you please, even after getting wed. We can treat it like it's the start of our relationship, go on dates, and take it slow. However you want it..."
Leo said all sorts of things to convince Lillian. He was serious about getting married immediately.
The previous night, Lillian stirred and felt it when he lay beside her. Leo simply hugged her and slept as well. It felt safe and warm in his arms, and Lillian had never slept so soundly and easily in her life, even with the help of liquor.
She had chronic insomnia she had been battling with for so long, and her solution was simply working more while she could not sleep. Yet, last night, she slept so soundly beside this stranger.
From this alone, Lillian was already tempted to say 'yes'. Not being able to sleep when she wanted and needed was more than enough to make one crazy, and this guy just helped her sleep more than 8 hours straight. It was the first time in years that she slept without waking up after a few hours. But even so, Lillian was not ready to get married yet. She did not have enough savings and the like. Was it enough to say yes because she felt safe with this man once?
Lillian was not one to dive into something like this so easily. She recalled Tom, who also had a lot of promises to her, but cheated on her in the end. What if Leo were the same?
It would be harder to get out of the relationship if they were married. Thus, after thinking about it deeply, Lillian came to the same conclusion.
"I'm sorry. For something like marriage, I think I need more time. I think it's too soon for us to be talking about marriage..."
Lillian said that they should date first to see if they truly liked each other enough to get married.
However, Leo was in a rush for some reason.
Lillian noticed it was suspicious.