Vorlag's revenge hit like a tsunami of photosynthetic fury. The vial shattered above Dave's hiding place, releasing a swirling green nightmare. **Aetheric Piranha Algae** descended—not plants, but ravenous, chlorophyll-fueled piranhas the size of dust motes. Their vibrations weren't the gentle sway of flora; they were jagged, high-frequency *screeches* that shredded Dave's sediment camouflage like tissue paper.
**"ADAPT OR DIE, IDIOT!"** AURA's voice was a drill to Dave's nucleus. **"VIBRATION ANALYSIS: THEY'RE TARGETING ORGANIC SLIME RESIDUES! YOUR 'CHUNDER-CHARM' COATING IS A BUFFET SIGN! TRY THE ROTIFER LEGS! OR WOULD YOU PREFER 'ETERNAL PASTE' FLAVOR?"**
Dave pulsed in primal terror. The algae swarm closed in, their needle-like pseudopods snapping. He could *smell* them—chlorophyll mixed with stomach-churning hunger. *Photosynthetic predators. Because why the hell not?*
He slammed his consciousness into the **Biological Catalyst Prime**. Memories flooded him:
- The skittering terror of **Rotifer Raiders** (speed, evasion).
- The paralyzing kiss of a **Hydra's tentacle** (toxin delivery).
- The stubborn grip of **Moss Mat Leeches** (anchoring).
*"Rotifer legs! Hydra venom! NOW!"*
Agony ripped through him. His slime-coated form *bulged*, extruding six spindly, chitinous legs that thrashed wildly. Simultaneously, his membrane sprouted hundreds of microscopic, hollow cilia tipped with concentrated Hydra toxin. The process felt like being stretched on a cellular rack while simultaneously stabbed with acid needles.
**"ADAPTIVE OVERDRIVE ENGAGED!"** AURA reported. **"WARNING: BIOMASS PLUMMETING! 90%... 87%... 85%! ALSO, YOU NOW RESEMBLE A SPIDER DIPPED IN RADIOACTIVE SLIME. CONGRATS ON THE UPGRADE… I GUESS?"**
Dave didn't hesitate. He *kicked*.
His new Rotifer legs churned the water with frantic, uncoordinated speed. He shot sideways just as the algae swarm engulfed his former position. A dozen algae latched onto his trailing pseudopod, their needle-mouths injecting digestive enzymes.
***SCREEEEE!***
The algae shrieked in unison—a vibration like nails on a chalkboard amplified through water. Dave felt it as physical pain. But his Hydra-tipped cilia struck back, lashing the attackers. Instantly, their frantic vibrations slowed. Then stopped. Paralyzed, they floated away, green and inert.
*"YES! DIE, YOU PHOTOSYNTHETIC GARBAGE!"* Dave mentally roared, zigzagging through the silt on his new, horrifying legs.
**"PARTIAL SUCCESS,"** AURA conceded. **"YOU MURDERED 12 ALGAE. ONLY 9,988 TO GO. ALSO, YOUR LEGS ARE ARGUING ABOUT WHICH DIRECTION IS 'FORWARD'."**
She was right. Dave's borrowed limbs were spectacularly uncooperative. Legs 1, 3, and 5 scrambled left. Legs 2, 4, and 6 lunged right. He spun in a frantic, nauseating circle, kicking up clouds of debris while the main algae swarm regrouped, their chlorophyll stench thickening with predatory focus.
Above the tank, Vorlag vibrated with smug malice. **"Observe, Kael! The anomaly reveals itself! Scrambling like a headless micro-roach! My Piranha Algae will corner it, then—"**
***CRACK!***
The sound wasn't loud, but its vibration echoed through the water like a gunshot. Dave's chemoreceptors flared with the scent of shattered quartz and despair.
Princess Lyra's voice followed, trembling with tearful fury:
**"GRAND ALCHEMIST VORLAG! LOOK WHAT YOUR… YOUR *GREEN MONSTERS* DID!"**
Vorlag froze. **"Princess? I assure you, the algae are contained to Sector Gamma—"**
**"MY SUNNY TRIMER!"** Lyra wailed. **"THE ONE FATHER COMMISSIONED FROM THE GLASSMASTERS OF SOLARA! THE ONE WITH THE DANCING CRYSTAL BUNNIES! YOUR HORRIBLE ALGAE SWARMED OVER IT AND… AND…"** Her voice hitched. **"BUNNY #3'S EAR IS CHIPPED! IT LOOKS HEARTBROKEN!"**
Kael groaned. Vorlag's ozone scent spiked with panic. **"A… chip? Princess, surely—"**
**"SILENCE!"** Lyra's shriek made the tank walls hum. **"I TOLERATED YOUR SCANNERS! I TOLERATED YOUR SIPHONS! BUT RUINING LADY HOPPER? THIS IS *WAR*! ONE! MORE! THING! DISTURBS MY TANK—ONE SHREDDED PLANT, ONE STARTLED SNAIL, ONE *SAD BUNNY*—AND I SUMMON FATHER! I'LL TELL HIM YOU'RE USING ROYAL AQUARIUMS AS TEST TUBES FOR YOUR… YOUR *PHOTOSYNTHETIC PIRANHAS*!"**
Vorlag's scanner pulse flickered out like a snuffed candle. Dave smelled pure, undiluted terror from the ancient alchemist. Emperor Solaris adored Lyra. He also had a legendary temper and a fondness for executing annoyances.
**"Kael!"** Vorlag hissed, voice strangled. **"Retract the algae! NOW! And… and find a restorative alchemist for crystal bunny ears! IMMEDIATELY!"**
The Piranha Algae swarm shuddered. Their aggressive vibrations shifted to a low, submissive hum. They began retreating toward the surface, leaving Dave panting (metaphorically) in a cloud of silt, sporting six twitching legs and a serious case of existential whiplash.
**"USER STATUS UPDATE,"** AURA announced as the algae retreated. **"BIOMASS: 83%. FORM: 'HYDRA-ROTIFER ABOMINATION'. THREAT LEVEL: ▲▲▲ (STILL SMELLS LIKE FISH VOMIT)."**
Dave collapsed behind a pebble, his stolen legs folding awkwardly beneath him. The Catalyst Prime's effects faded, the Hydra toxins and Rotifer limbs dissolving back into his protoplasm. The pain receded, leaving exhaustion and a profound sense of unfairness.
*"I just got terrifying spider-legs and venom glands! And I lost them because Vorlag pissed off a princess over a *bunny ear*?!"*
**"CORRECT,"** AURA said. **"MORAL: COSMIC ABSURDITY TRUMPS EVOLUTION. ALSO, YOU'RE WELCOME."**
*"For what?!"*
**"FOR NOT LETTING YOU DIE AS A PHOTOSYNTHETIC SNACK! NOW, BIOMASS THRESHOLD REACHED: 95%. PERMANENT UPGRADE MENU UNLOCKED. NO TEMPORARY MONSTROSITIES THIS TIME. PICK SOMETHING *USEFUL*, 'KAY?"**
The interface shimmered:
1. **CILIA JET PROPULSION (COST: 8% BIOMASS):**
*"High-speed bursts via coordinated cilia thrust. Requires precise neurological control you lack. Side Effect: 70% chance of crashing into nearest predator."*
2. **CHAMELEONIC MEMBRANE SYNTHESIS (COST: 7% BIOMASS):**
*"Passively mimic surroundings (color/texture/scent). Useless against Aether scanners or princesses mourning bunny ears."*
3. **AETHER-HARDENED EXOSKELETON (COST: 12% BIOMASS):**
*"Permanent silica-carapace fusion. Enhanced defense, near-complete predator immunity. Trade-off: Speed reduced to 'geological drift'. You'll be safe, but boredom may kill you."*
Dave stared. Option 3 was… *good*. Actually good. Not a desperate gambit. Not a joke. Armor. Real armor.
*"Option 3. Take it. TAKE IT NOW BEFORE VORLAG INVENTS PHOTOSYNTHETIC DRAGONS OR SOMETHING!"*
**"SELECTION CONFIRMED: AETHER-HARDENED EXOSKELETON. COMMENCING SILICA-AETHER FUSION. WARNING: THIS WILL HURT LIKE A THOUSAND ROTIFER BITEY-KISSES."**
It did.
Fire erupted across Dave's membrane as ambient Aether fused with his diatom armor. His form *crackled*, shrinking slightly as loose protoplasm solidified into layered, iridescent plates. The pain was blinding, but brief. When it faded, Dave felt… **dense**. Impossibly heavy. Unbreakable.
He pulsed experimentally. Movement was agonizingly slow—like wading through molten lead. But as he shifted, a shard of broken quartz scraped harmlessly across his new shell. Not a scratch. Not a dent.
**"INTEGRITY AT 100%,"** AURA confirmed. **"PREDATOR DEFENSE: MAXIMUM. SPEED: 'ENTHUSIASTIC ROCK'. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: *'FINALLY NOT MADE OF PAPER TOWELS'*."**
Dave rested his new, impervious form against the pebble. He smelled Vorlag's frustrated retreat. Heard Lyra cooing to her chipped bunny. Felt Kael's grudging cleanup vibrations.
For the first time since becoming sentient pond scum…
**He felt safe.**
As Dave basks in his newfound invincibility, a shadow falls over his pebble—not Vorlag's, but vast, slow, and trailing strands of sticky mucus. A colossal **Azure Snail** (Lyra's "Lady Glimmershale") glides over him, her grazing foot descending toward his armored form. AURA sighs: **"Congratulations. You're now the world's most durable… speed bump. Suggest 'Roll' upgrade next time."** Dave realizes his ultimate defense has a fatal flaw: *It can't move him out from under a hungry, 10-ton gastropod.*