6 Days Later…
"Alright, you lot. Time to brainstorm."
"...About the Sexy Jutsu?" one clone asked, raising a brow.
"I don't wanna! If we're banging; that's gonna be weird and we don't have enough chakra to sustain it! Besides, I don't wanna have sex with you being the guy!" the second chimed in, just before being silenced.
"NO, dumbasses!" Sabuko barked. "We're not gonna fuck. At least not until much later after we master everything and dramatically increase our low-as-fuck chakra pool. I'm gonna be transformed into a petite girl, after all. You know that!"
Sabuko then clenched his fist.
"Other than that, your job is just to shut up and do as I say anyway! Who cares what you WANT?!" Sabuko yelled.
They both went silent.
"That aside, what we're experimenting with is the limits of Kage Bunshin for now."
"Now that's more like it!" one grinned.
"Training time?" the other asked.
Sabuko shook his head and flopped down on the bed.
"Yeah. I've been thinking… In the Narutoverse, they've got written exams, right? All kinds of techniques, terms, and strategies that kids our age already know but we don't."
The clones nodded.
"We need to cram all that into our heads before the 15th Jonin Orientation, in case our mob Jonin instructor gives us one."
"But Original," one asked, "why go this hard? Takos said we could stay here and do what we always did so far. Train the Shadow Clone Technique. You can actually do two shadow clones without collapsing after six days!"
Sabuko shook his head.
"You already know. They're not keeping us here for free." Sabuko looked out the window, "If we don't become full-fledged Genin or if we get dropped by the Jonin we're assigned to, we'll get thrown back into the Academy. And that bastard father of ours sure as hell won't pay for that. And I doubt the Brugers will, either."
"...Right."
"Good point."
They looked at each other grimly.
"So we're basically screwed unless we pull it off…"
"But how exactly are we pulling it off, Original?" one clone asked. "Studying's fine and all, but our main problem's Taijutsu! That's HELLA important if Rock Lee's anything to go by! And we know Jack about it!"
"…Yeah. You're right," Sabuko sighed.
But then a smirk crept onto his face.
"However, you're also forgetting something insane about this world."
"…?" They glanced at each other.
"First, you can compensate for weaknesses.. Might Guy is a ninja with just Taijutsu, who says we can't do the same with Ninjutsu?"
"SECOND!"
Sabuko raised his finger, pinning it against his temple.
"They know the past and their present. We know everything that's going to happen."
The clones tilted their heads, curiosity rising.
"And most people in this show never use their jutsu to their full potential. Naruto had that technique for years! He trained with it nonstop and still never thought to use a clone to study while he screwed around."
Both clones looked at each other, "Holy shit!"
Sabuko continued.
"I'm still mad he never once thought to leave a clone doing the Hokage paperwork while he was at home blowing Hinata's back out… or, I don't know, actually spending time with his kids," Sabuko muttered, a hint of a growl in his voice.
Both clones' eyes widened.
"What I'm saying is… we've got the strongest weapon in this entire world."
"…We're not limited by Kishimoto's creativity."
Sabuko grinned. "We'll figure something out."
"For our dream."
---- 9 DAYS LATER ----
Sabuko walked with Takos all the way to the Ninja Academy. The day had finally come: Jonin orientation.
"Right, Takos," Sabuko said, "You're still hoping to get Yuhi, huh? Kurenai-sensei, I mean. But how do you even know we'll be under her? Isn't the Jonin assignment totally random?"
Takos froze.
"IT'S RANDOM!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
He collapsed face-first into the ground.
'...Dumbass.'
Sabuko looked up at the Academy building.
'Gonna face the all-stars again… Jesus, I'm still not used to this.' He took a breath as he and Takos walked in, going through the hallways until they made it to the classroom.
'I've prepped all I could. Time to go in.'
He and Takos pushed through the doors.
'For my clone harem.'
Kids were still settling into their seats. Sabuko scanned the room, and there they were.
Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Ino, Shikamaru, Choji. The all stars.
"OH! SABUKO!!! WHAT'S UP!" Naruto yelled from a middle row, waving like they were best friends.
Almost everyone turned toward him, except Sasuke.
'Naruto waved at me~... Fuck me if it's not awkward as hell, though.'
'... Also, wait a minute. If I remember Naruto correctly; shouldn't he be having his first kiss with Sasuke right now? The scene is right... All the girls are fawning on Sasuke... Why's Naruto on his seat instead of staring down Sasuke?' He wondered.
'He should be having a rivalry with Sasuke. Dude. Why's it not happening right now!?'
"Hey, that's him, right?" One of the mob kids said, "The weirdo who told Naruto all that crazy stuff?"
"Is he, like… in love with Naruto or something? Gross."
"So stupid. Naruto's alone because he's always screwing around."
"It's his own fault for being a slacker. Imagine defending that."
Sabuko cringed internally.
'Fuckers! You're supposed to be all: "UH! He's that sensible guy...! I'm touched, kyaa". I thought emotional speeches were like, the top thing in the Naruto verse!'
Shortly enough, though, they got back to normal.
Sakura kept fawning over Sasuke, something Naruto clearly hated. Hinata stared down at her desk while occasionally sneaking glances to Naruto.
Shikamaru looked half-asleep, with Choji chowing down on some snacks. And Ino... yep, fawning over Sasuke like the rest of them.
Still, both Ino and Sakura tossed a quick glance at Sabuko. Shikamaru, head resting on folded arms, cracked one eye open toward him too.
"...?" He hummed, catching their glances.
The two girls quickly looked away. Shikamaru scratched his head lazily, clicking his tongue before shutting his eyes again. A faint "What a bother..." Coming from his lips could be heard.
'...Odd. Anyway... It's Naruto, fuck me if I ain't gonna stick to my benefactor.'
Sabuko tapped Takos on the shoulder.
"Come on, let's sit with him."
"I don't wanna," Takos muttered, stopping in place. "Naruto's your butt-buddy. Not mine."
'Wait, what?'
"Why're you making a big deal out of it, Burger?" Sabuko narrowed his eyes at him, "Just come sit with me and him, who cares what—"
"Who cares!" Takos raised his voice. "I don't wanna be seen with him! You sit with him if you love him so much — God!" The whole class heard that.
Sabuko felt the sharp gazes, tightening his fist.
'Piece of shit... I kinda forgot he's an immature 12 years old brat. And a selfish punk at that.'
'But... I'm crashing at his place. Better play it nice for now.'
He sighed.
"...Alright. Suit yourself," he said, then walked casually toward Naruto. Takos' eyes narrowed behind him, his face flinching with confusion and disgust.
Sabuko turned and waved at Naruto, fully visible to the class, ignoring every whisper and sneer.
"Hey, Naruto," Sabuko called out.
Another glance from Ino.
And one from Shikamaru.
"Sabuko! You're late! You almost missed the rotation!!" Naruto called loudly. Almost as if nothing had happened with Takos or the classroom just now, "Even I woke up early for this—You better believe it!" Naruto puffed his cheeks out, arms crossed as Sabuko sat beside him with a blank expression.
"Well, I made it after all, didn't I?" Sabuko replied.
"But you could've been earlier!"
"I guess you're right."
"Man... You're really unmotivated..." Naruto pouted.
"I could say the same about you on everything not ninja-related. Or paperwork-related."
"Gehhhk!"
Ino gave a subtle chuckle.
Even Hinata gave them a glance.
'I'm so glad... Someone is being nice to Naruto-kun... And Naruto-kun seems happy too...' Hinata thought.
Sabuko didn't notice.
'I hope I didn't break the canon group assignments...' Sabuko shivered, 'Team 7 needs to happen as it did in the original canon if we want the world to make it...'