"HOWWW!?" Takos groaned as he and Sabuko walked home. "How did you score higher than me!? I thought you were amnesiac!"
"Well… I crammed," Sabuko shrugged.
"Unfair...! Are you even really amnesiac?!"
"I told you, I don't remember anything. If I was faking, do you think I'd have been kicked out of my folks' house?"
"..." Takos looked down with a pout. "...Yeah. You're right. You're nothing like you used to be."
"How?"
"You used to kiss your dad's shoes everywhere he went for the most part and everyone hated how much of a prick you were. Other than that you were pretty lame. I was your friend out of pity, really."
Sabuko blinked.
Sabuko raised an eyebrow. "That so?"
'I ain't gonna concede to that, little fucker.'
"Then why didn't you wanna sit with me and Naruto since you're oh so charitable, Burger?"
"DUMBASS! Because Naruto's an outcast! He's weird! Totally different!"
"You said I was an outcast a second ago, too!"
"I DID NOT!"
"You did. Not in those words, but—"
"AH!" Takos pointed at him, "YOU JUST ADMITTED I DIDN'T SAY THAT! Now shut up about it..!"
'LANDLORD'S KID. LANDLORD'S KID. LANDLORD'S KID.' Sabuko repeated in his mind a vein on his forehead popped.
"Anyway. Takos." Sabuko sighed, "About the test tomorrow. I need to learn some Taijutsu. Teach me."
"…No, dude. No. I can't." Takos exhaled hard.
"What do you mean, can't? You definitely know some moves!"
"I mean, yeah, I know Taijutsu. But teaching you? With amnesia? Before tomorrow?" He stared.
"Best-case scenario, after 20 hours of nonstop grinding, you might learn how to throw one kick. Maybe one punch. We spent seven years learning this stuff!"
"Haaah… Bolognese seemed pretty strict…" Sabuko scratched his head. "Damn it. Now what the hell am I gonna do?"
"…Bolo-sensei, you mean."
"'Sensei' my ass. Neither he nor the other Jonin are teachers. They're just team leaders, nothing more."
"Okay, no. You do not get to take a dump on the Jonin now. You're barely even a Genin, amnesiac!"
"You bet I do." Sabuko narrowed his eyes. "Look—I'm not saying they aren't strong. They're Jonin. Leaders. Whatever. No one's denying that. But what we had wasn't a teacher. Not by a long shot."
"... What in the world are you on about?!" Takos narrowed his eyes.
Sabuko cleared his throat.
"A teacher is Iruka-sensei. A teacher's someone who actually teaches you stuff. Someone who guides you. Shows you what it means to be a ninja."
"Well, there you go!" Takos flailed. "That's exactly what Bolo's gonna do. Nurture us and stuff!"
"…If we pass his test, you mean." Sabuko sighed. "Bolognese and the other Jonin expect us to already believe in their way of thinking."
"Uh... How?"
"Like, if some Jonin believes 'You should defy orders when your gut says so,' and you don't, you're done. Failed. They won't explain why it's important. They expect you to already get it." His voice rose. "It's a damn loyalty test wrapped in a philosophy class."
-----------ELSEWHERE--------------
Kakashi sneezed as he read his Make-Out Paradise erotic novel.
"Someone's talking about me... I hope it's some nice gossip, at least."
------------------------------
"…" Takos stared, expression blank.
"…What are you even talking about?" he mumbled. "Dude's our Jonin. Stop being so weird about it."
'Right. Twelve.' Sabuko exhaled sharply.
"Anyway… You do remember what BO-LO-SEN-SE-I said after the exam, right? If one of us fails, we all fail. So…" Takos jabbed a finger toward him. "It's on you, man. Figure something out."
They finally reached the Bruger house.
'Saying it like I'm obviously the one dragging everyone down…' Sabuko clenched his jaw, 'Well, that fucker's got a point...'
"Look," Takos added, just before heading in, "You've been putting time into your Kage Bunshin and Transformation, right? Use that or something."
And with that, he stepped into the house, door swinging shut behind him.
Silence.
"Ahh..." Sabuko sighed, leaning back against the building.
"I could probably use the Kage Bunshin and Transform just to give myself a kiss... or a blowjob. Really take the edge off."
'... As annoying as he is, he's got a point.' Sabuko threw a kick. It felt awkward and uneven. 'I can't study taijutsu overnight. If Bolo's test tomorrow involves taijutsu, I'm fucked. It likely will...'
He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling.
'So why not just... do what I came here for? Just feel it. Maybe I could keep it up for a minute or so.'
He looked down again.
'...Yeah. Hell yeah.'
'Just have the clone not do anything extreme, as it needs to stay concentrated on maintaining the jutsu.'
He forced a chuckle once more and made his way into the nearby forest, glancing around, making sure he was alone. His breathing grew heavy.
'I need this... so bad... Right?'
'Yeah.'
He bit his lip as his got into pose, making the Tiger hand sign.
'A mommy... Foxgirl... pinning me down.'
He smiled, jittery, as he formed the clone.
"...You know what to do," Sabuko ordered, unable to look at the clone.
"..."
The clone didn't respond. It simply performed the Transformation Jutsu, becoming what he'd always fantasized about—
A girl with fox ears, an endowed body, and a seductive smile.
Sabuko's lips trembled. Unable to look at her face.
She took a step closer. He could see her Kimono that he'd always imagined in his mind facing him.
Not saying a thing.
"Just..." Sabuko's voice wavered.
"...."
"C-Can we... uhm... hug first? To... get a feel... you know...?" he asked.
A few minutes of silence, filled by crickets.
She then leaned in, wrapping him in an embrace.
A few seconds went by.
Then 20.
Then a minute.
Before long, the clone vanished in a silent poof.
And Sabuko was alone again.
Standing up, facing air. His expression flat against the wind.
'Her chest was missing a boob. I fucking failed.'
—— NIGHT ——
Sabuko sat slumped against the tree, eyes hollow. He stared at the darkened grass in front of him, spinning a kunai between limp fingers.
''Her chest was missing a boob.' He repeated, 'She still smelled like I smelled. I didn't see her face, but I bet she was ugly as fuck... Tsk. I'm a long way off. Understanding how to do it, and actually doing it are super different, I guess.'
'So pathetic. I'm trying to become a genin thinking about fucking myself.' He stopped spinning the Kunai, bringing it a bit close to his throat, 'I should just—'
Then, a voice echoed in his mind. Hiruzen's.
"Why do you want to become a ninja?"
"Your reason doesn't matter... Your resolve is."
"And I could see your resolve."
The words looped in his head. His grip on his Kunai tightened.
'....'
"I wanna fuck my own brains out. That's why I wanna become a ninja."
A few moments of silence, Sabuko looked at the Kunai's edge.
"Fuck it," Sabuko sighed, lowering the knife.
"I have nothing to lose anyway, so might as well see it through. I'll spend this night and come up with something." Sabuko looked at the starry sky.
"You said resolve matters more than the reason? Alright, bet."