I had woken up to my alarm, everything seemed normal.
My alarm is usually set for 5:30 am, that what I have enough time to get up, get dressed, and go for a short jog before I have to go to school.
I started this routine about two months ago, people had been making fun of me for my weight. I decided that I have had enough, I wasn't what most people would call fat, but I wasn't skinny either. I never had been, I had tried multiple times to lose weight. I went on diet plans, extreme exercise, and even thought about surgery.
No one in my family understood why I wanted to lose weight so bad, but then again, they were all super skinny. I always got so mad whenever they said that I looked fine and shouldn't worry what others say about my weight.
"Of course you think that, you guys are practically models with how skinny you are." I had always thought to myself
I wasn't even kidding, my older sister, Ruby, she was quite literally training to become a model. She had been scouted when she was in the same grade as me, 7th, but now she getting ready to start her second year of high school and looking like she jumped right off of a magazine cover.
My mom, she was basically perfect. Her skin, her hair, her nails and her body shape, were all so beautiful and perfect. Mom's face never got acne, when mine first started to appear, she claimed she had acne that was so bad she didn't want to leave the house. I believed it at first, but when I briefly mentioned it in front of grandma, she looked at me with such a weird face.
"Where did ya hear that from pumpkin?" She asked in her sweet small voice.
"Mom told me so herself!" I had replied, I was so happy that I wasn't alone in my family, because according to my mom, even though her skin was perfect now it once had been worse than mine.
"OH, sweetpea, I'm sorry, but that isnt true. Your mama always had such bright glow skin, never had a blemish in her life." She had told me, her voice dipping so low like she was talking to an injured puppy.
Maybe that's what my face looked like, because I had felt so betrayed. I have had a hard time trusting my mom with anything beauty-wise since then. I had brushed it off as her just trying to comfort me.
It was now 6:30, I had just finished my morning jog and so I wrapped up my thoughts about the past. I had been forcing myself to drink a lot of water, I don't usually drink water without any sort of flavoring in it. Ever since I read the one article online that said flavor packets contribute to weight gain, I haven't been able to touch one without feeling some sort of guilt.
It was like I was stealing something, from my own pantry. Ridiculous, I know. Instead of eating anything solid for breakfast, I downed a protein shake. I had to read in front of the class today, and in no way was I going to go spewing chunks because I ate a little bit of food beforehand. I decided I would eat at lunch but until then the protein shake and water was going to have to be it.
I ran to the bus stop because I was running a little bit behind after Ruby had asked me to help her with her necklace. It had gotten stuck in her hair while she was asleep, my mom was ready to cut it out, but I am really good at detangeling things.
Oddly enough, the bus wasn't here yet, so I sat down on the bench and waited.
10 minutes.
15 minutes.
45 minutes.
I stood up panicked after reading the time on my watch, where was this darn bus. I was going to miss my first class, even if the bus showed up now I would only get to school in time to just hear the end of lecture.
If that was the case, that meant I would have no time to prepare myself to read in front of the class. That was my second class of the day.
I texted my mom thinking maybe she hadn't gone to work yet.
*Hey mom, have you left for work yet?*
*I was just about to walk out the door, why?*
*The bus hasn't shown up and I'm going to be very late*
*That is really weird, give me a minute I'll come pick you up and take you to school. It'll take longer if you walk all the way back here*
*OK, I'm still at the bus stop.*