The commentator's final words echoed through the portal, a death sentence for our reputation: "The Comfy Corner... you are up first!"
My entire core went cold.
FaeLina's psychic voice shattered into a single, high-pitched wail of pure terror in my mind.
'Not the Gauntlet of Swiftness!' her thought was a jumble of pure static and panic. 'Our final time won't be measured in minutes, it'll be measured in geological ages! They're going to laugh us off the ScryNet forever!'
In the Royal Arena, the five imposing "Challenger" adventurers stood ready, their swords drawn, waiting for the signal to charge into my dungeon. The roar of the crowd was a physical pressure, a wave of expectation that I was in no way prepared to meet. The commentator began to explain the rules.
"The rules for the Gauntlet of Swiftness are simple!" his voice boomed. "This elite party of five champions, the 'Challengers', will now enter The Comfy Corner! Their one and only goal is to fight their way to the dungeon's lowest level and touch the walls of the Core Chamber itself! We are looking for pure speed, folks! The clock starts... NOW!"
A cold, logical panic seized my core.
'A speed run', I thought, the words like ice in my consciousness. They want the adventurers to be fast.
I quickly scanned the layout of my own dungeon. The path from the entrance to my Core Chamber on the third floor wasn't just long; it was a masterpiece of delay tactics. I had intentionally designed it with winding corridors and comfortable distractions.
My dungeon was a perfectly designed anti-speed-run machine.
An hour, I calculated in horror. If they don't stop for a single cup of tea or a short nap, it would still take them at least an hour to get here.
My score wouldn't just be bad. It would be the worst in the entire history of the tournament.
'Mochi, we have to forfeit!' FaeLina pleaded. 'It's the only way to save our dignity!'
But as I looked at the five champions, poised like coiled springs, another, much more devious thought sparked in my core. A lazy, beautiful, rule-breaking thought.
The rules say the adventurers have to be fast. But do they say anything about where the finish line has to be?
I quickly scanned my Dungeon Menu, my consciousness flying through the sub-menus. And there it was, under [Core Management], an ability I had never even considered using. [Emergency Core Chamber Relocation]. It was designed for escaping a catastrophic cave-in, not for cheating in a game show. And It also had a ridiculously high DP cost.
But It was perfect.
'FaeLina,' I projected, my voice suddenly calm. 'What is the penalty for thinking outside the box?'
'What? There is no penalty for—Mochi, no! You can't be serious!
The champions stormed into my quiet, cozy lobby, their heavy steel boots thudding on the stone. They saw the Tea Nook, the smiling Sir Crumplebuns, the staircase leading down. They were professionals, their eyes scanning for traps as they prepared to descend into the dungeon's depths.
[-400 DP! Activating Emergency Core Chamber Relocation!]
But then, behind them, the very air where they had just been standing began to shimmer.
With a sound like a heavy stone settling into place, a solid, polished obsidian chamber materialized out of thin air, right in the middle of the lobby, about twenty feet from the entrance. And floating serenely in the center of it, visible through a transparent wall of solidified magic, was me.
The lead champion skidded to a halt. The other four nearly piled up behind him. They turned, their faces a perfect picture of complete and utter bafflement.
"Uh... is that it?" one of them asked, pointing his sword at me. "Is that the Dungeon Core?"
The commentator's booming voice faltered. "Folks, it appears... it appears the Dungeon Core is located in the very first room. Just... right there."
The lead champion cautiously walked over to my Core Chamber. He tapped the transparent wall. It was solid. He looked at the Official Observer Orb that was floating beside him.
"Uh... time?" he asked.
The massive, magical hourglass on the Scry-Screens froze. The official time was displayed in glittering, golden numbers for the entire kingdom to see: Twelve Seconds.
The stadium was silent for a moment, and then it erupted into a wave of confused shouting and unrestrained laughter.
The commentator was at a loss for words. "Well, folks... I... that is a time. Twelve seconds."
But in the royal box, High Adjudicator Thistlewick was not laughing. He stood up, his face a mask of thunderous fury. He raised a hand, and the entire stadium fell silent.
The commentator's voice became grave. "Hold on, viewers. We're getting a ruling from the High Adjudicator himself. It appears there may be a violation of the 'Registered Layout' protocol!"
My core went cold and FaeLina's psychic celebration turned into a shriek of ice-cold terror.
'The registration! Mochi, the official registration scan! I completely forgot!' she wailed in my mind.
'The DLRB does a full magical scan of every competing dungeon weeks before the tournament to lock in its official layout! You're not allowed to make major changes! It's the primary anti-cheating rule!'
'You just moved your entire Core Chamber!' she continued, her panic spiraling. 'That's the biggest change possible! They're going to see the scan doesn't match! We're going to be disqualified on our very first event!'
High Adjudicator Thistlewick opened his mouth to deliver his verdict, a verdict that would surely be our immediate and humiliating disqualification. But just as he was about to speak, a small, weary figure shuffled up beside him. It was Inspector Barnaby. He whispered something urgently in the dwarf's ear, pointing to a specific, dusty scroll in his notes.
Thistlewick's expression went through a rapid series of changes: from fury, to confusion, to disbelief, and finally, to a look of pure, defeated resignation. He slumped back down into his sit with a heavy groan.
The commentator, receiving a new instruction, blinked in surprise. "Hold on, folks! I'm receiving an update from the judges!" he announced, his voice filled with renewed excitement.
"It appears that due to its recent, last-minute 'Provisional Sanctuary' status, The Comfy Corner was never become part of the official pre-tournament registration scan! Therefore, the 'Registered Layout' rule does not technically apply to them! I don't believe it, but this run is valid!"
He took a deep breath. "With a time of twelve seconds, The Comfy Corner has set a new, and likely unbeatable, tournament record!"
And a final notification appeared in my consciousness.
[Event Complete: 'Gauntlet of Swiftness'.]
[Result: First Place (by lucky technicality).]
[Reputation with DLRB has changed to: 'Infuriatingly Fortunate Anomaly'.]
[ You have gained a New Skill: Loophole Abuse (Passive)]
FaeLina was ecstatic. 'We won!' she cheered. 'We won the speed run by being the laziest dungeon in history!'
I, however, was focused on a more pressing issue. My entire Core Chamber was still sitting in the middle of the lobby. I felt exposed, like a snail that had been tricked into leaving its shell.
'This was a terrible idea,' I thought, a wave of regret washing over me. 'It cost me 400 DP to move it here. Now I have to move it back.'
With a deep, internal sigh that cost me another huge chunk of my prize money, I activated the ability again.
[-400 DP! Activating Emergency Core Chamber Relocation!]
With a soft shimmer, my Core Chamber vanished from the lobby, returning to its proper, hidden, and much more nap-friendly location on the third floor. My victory had cost me 800 DP. It was the most expensive twelve seconds of my life.