Guildmaster Peppin of the Iron Gryphons stood in the center of my main chamber, his sharp, calculating eyes missing nothing. His grey beard was immaculately trimmed, and his armor, unlike the mismatched pieces his members wore, was a full set of masterwork steel. He radiated an aura of pure, undiluted authority.
He took a slow breath, his gaze sweeping over the Tea Nook, the plush cushions, and the slumbering form of Sir Crumplebuns.
"So, this is the place, Gilda?" he asked, his voice a low rumble of skepticism. "The 'dungeon' that serves tea and provides… complimentary naps?"
FaeLina appeared beside my core, practically vibrating with nervous energy. She was invisible and inaudible to the humans, her commentary for my benefit alone.
"A Guildmaster, Mochi! A real, live Guildmaster!" she whispered frantically. "This is a critical first impression! Standard procedure is to establish dominance! Demand tribute! Rattle the walls a bit! Try to sound like a vengeful ghost!"
I, of course, had a different strategy in mind. My goal was not to intimidate them; it was to turn them into loyal, paying customers.
Peppin unrolled the official-looking scroll he was carrying. "Dungeon Core of this… establishment," he announced, his voice formal and loud. "I am Guildmaster Peppin. My guild members report this area has become a 'safe zone.' I find this claim dubious, but the potential benefits are too great to ignore. We propose a test."
"He's testing us!" FaeLina squeaked. "Quick, manifest a skeleton! Even a small one will do!"
"If you can guarantee the safety of my adventurers," Peppin continued, "we are prepared to pay a weekly retainer for exclusive use of your facilities as a forward resting camp."
Welcome, Guildmaster Peppin, I projected, my mental voice calm and even, echoing softly through the chamber. My facilities are indeed safe. What are your terms?
Peppin's eyebrows shot up. He was clearly not expecting such a polite and articulate response. He glanced at Gilda, who simply nodded.
"The terms are simple," he said, regaining his composure. "My guild pays you a weekly fee. In return, our members can rest here without fear of harm from you or your… inhabitants. We also require a full inspection of the premises. We will not lead our people into a trap."
An inspection is acceptable, I agreed immediately. My guide will show you around.
From his cushion, Sir Crumplebuns stirred. He stood up, dusted himself off with his plush hands, and struck a heroic pose.
"It would be my highest honor to escort you, noble sirs!" he boomed theatrically. "Pray, follow me, and witness the wonders of this Sanctuary of Slumber!"
Peppin stared at the talking doll knight, his stern expression twitching. "Is that... a toy?"
"He's head of security," Gilda replies helpfully.
The Guildmaster looked like he was developing a severe headache, but he gestured for Sir Crumplebuns to lead on. Their first stop was the Tea Nook, where Sloosh the slime waiter offered a polite, bubbly wobble. Peppin eyed the slime with deep suspicion but noted the cleanliness of the counter.
Then, Sir Crumplebuns proudly led them down the staircase to the second floor.
As they stepped into the Hibernation Hollows, Peppin stopped dead. He gazed up at the enchanted starlight ceiling, listened to the gentle lullaby that filled the air, and stared into the private alcoves filled with gently wiggling Pillow Fiends.
"What in the Seven Hells is this place?" he whispered, his voice stripped of its earlier authority, replaced by sheer, unadulterated confusion. "A subterranean resort for gnomes?"
One of the Pillow Fiends, sensing a potential customer, hopefully nudged against his leg.
Peppin flinched, his hand instinctively flying to the hilt of his sword.
"It's alright, sir," Gilda said, trying to suppress a smile. "They just… want to be fluffed. Or used as a pillow. We're still not sure."
They returned to the main floor, the Guildmaster rubbing his temples. He was silent for a long time, clearly processing the strategic insanity he had just witnessed. He was, above all else, a practical man.
"Your methods are the most unorthodox I have ever encountered in my fifty years as a guildmaster," he declared finally. "However, the potential for my guild to recover from missions here without risk… it is undeniable."
He rolled up his scroll. "The contract stands, with one addition. We will also purchase a weekly supply of your... 'Moment of Peace' tea. That elf, Zazu, hasn't stopped talking about it."
A wave of satisfaction washed over me.
[Guild Contract Established: The Iron Gryphons.]
[Weekly Income Secured: 20 Gold Coins, 200 Dungeon Points.]
[New Title Unlocked: The Cozy Capitalist.]
FaeLina did a joyful loop-the-loop in the air. "We're legitimate! We have a business contract! We might not get audited into oblivion after all!"
Peppin and Gilda departed, the Guildmaster still shaking his head in profound bewilderment. I now had a secure, passive income of both currency and power. I had successfully monetized comfort.
As FaeLina celebrated our newfound legitimacy, my thoughts drifted to the map in my inventory. The contract was a step toward security, but it also painted a larger target on my back. The Blood Pit wouldn't care about my business deals.
A steady income is good, I thought, then looking at the skull on the map. But now I need to think about actual security. A new kind of defense.
My mind turned to the dreams of sleeping adventurers.